


Unfortunately It's Always You

by queenofhyrule



Series: Haikyuu and You!! (Reader x Character Short Stories) [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crushes, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Requited Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24566824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofhyrule/pseuds/queenofhyrule
Summary: No matter who you date or how much you try.. it seems that you can't get that stupid cocky smirk and those beautiful golden eyes out of your head. This was ridiculous. You’re in college now. If you couldn't move on and find someone else.. was there any hope for you?
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/You
Series: Haikyuu and You!! (Reader x Character Short Stories) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745317
Comments: 48
Kudos: 443





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

* * *

You always thought that if you were to fall for a Tsukishima, it’d be Akiteru. Despite the five year age gap between the two of you, there was hardly anything to _not_ like about the man. He was funny, very respectful, playful, and of course, extremely handsome. 

Your little crush on him wasn’t much of a secret either. In fact, it was something the two of you joked about plenty of times when you were together. 

_“I had a date the other night,” Akiteru told you guys one evening as you were sitting around the table eating take-out._

_“Oh?” Your eyebrow popped up as you chewed nonchalantly. “Does she know you’re taken already?”_

_“Unfortunately, it didn’t come up. I couldn’t figure out how to tell her without crushing her heart,” he sighed, placing his chin in his hand while looking at you. On your right, Kei rolled his eyes. On your left, Yamaguchi was stifling his laughter by shoveling more food in his mouth._

_You shrugged, taking another bite. “Well, as long as you tell her before the wedding. It’d be kind of a downer if you were dating someone else when we got married.”_

_“Of course,” he grinned, giving you a wink. “You know you’re the only one for me.”_

Of course these jokes were always light-hearted and while you did find the man _very_ attractive, he was honestly more of a big brother to you… ya know, in a not creepy way. So you knew you’d never _actually_ fall in love with him. 

But somewhere down the line, you must have really pissed off some spirit or god so badly that they wanted to play around with your life for a bit of entertainment. Because instead of falling for Akiteru, the obvious and best choice.. You fell for the other one. 

Kei. 

The complete opposite of Akiteru, and a sure-fire way to get your heart absolutely obliterated. Not crushed, no. Crushing your heart would imply that there would be pieces to put back together after.

No, falling for Kei could only lead to complete and utter destruction.

Yay!

* * *

Your friendship with the tall blond had started during your first year of high school, when you had the pleasure of being partnered up with him and his best friend, Yamaguchi, for a project. This project required meeting up outside of school, and on that first day, you had decided to go to the local library. You left Karasuno with your two partners, but told them you needed to stop by your house real quick before going to the library. Despite insisting that it was literally on the way, Kei had thrown a mini temper tantrum about how you were “wasting their time” and were “completely useless”. Yamaguchi had been much more understanding. 

_“I promise, I’ll just be two seconds. You can come in and wait in my living room if you want.” You rushed inside after unlocking the door, not even bothering to slip your shoes off. You quickly dropped your bag and made for the kitchen._

_“A snack?” Kei scoffed. “You made us stop because you’re hungry? You could have just gotten something from a vending machine at the library.”_

_“It’s not for me, it’s for Rex! I forgot to feed him this morning!” You open the fridge, reach for the greens that are tucked away in the corner, and rip off a large leaf. Walking back into the living room, you held up the leaf to show the two boys standing there._

_“Your dog is a vegetarian?” Yamaguchi asked, genuinely looking confused. You smiled, holding back laughter so he didn’t feel so bad._

_“Oh no, Rex isn’t a dog. He’s a dragon!”_

_“A.. dragon?”_

_“Yeah! Wanna see?”_

_You motioned for the two boys to follow and lead them to your room. You heard Kei muttering under his breath, but you knew he was at least a little intrigued, considering how his face had changed ever so slightly at the word “dragon”._

_Throwing open the door, you entered your slightly messy room. Ugh, why couldn’t you have been a more organized person? Well, at least you hadn’t left any bras hanging around this time._

_“Hi Rex! I’m so sorry I forgot to feed you today!” You cooed as you walked up to the large tank sitting on a stand in the corner of your room. Rex, your chunky bearded dragon, stared intently at you and you could tell that he was not happy._

_“Whoa, what is that?” Yamaguchi asked, peering over your shoulder to get a closer look._

_“This is Rex! He’s my bearded dragon.”_

_You turned to the two boys, a large smile on your face. Yamaguchi’s eyes were wide with amazement, and Kei was.. Well, you wouldn’t say he was excited, exactly, but you did notice that his eyes were a little less cold than they had been before._

_“Would you like to hold him?” You asked, already opening the front of the tank and reaching your hand in._

_“Uh.. will it bite?”_

_“No! He’s very friendly. Though sometimes he will mistake your fingers for worms if you’re not careful.” You grinned as you scooped Rex up into your hand and held him out to the green haired boy. Yamaguchi’s eyes widened as he took a few steps back._

_“You know what? I’m good watching from here,” he laughed nervously. You just shrugged as you casually scratched Rex’s chin lovingly with your pointer finger. While many people didn’t see the point in owning something as strange as a bearded dragon, you loved him with all of your heart._

_“Here,” you held out the collard green leaf to the boys. “One of you tear off a small piece and feed him. I promise he won’t bite.”_

_Yamaguchi just stared at you, unmoving. Clicking his tongue, Kei stepped forward and snatched the leaf out of your hand._

_“You’re being a baby.”_

_You watched as he tore off a piece of the leaf and, with surprising gentleness, held it out for your dragon. Rex tilted his head, considering the offer, then quickly snatched it up and gobbled it down. You grinned at the look of wonder that Kei couldn’t hold back as he watched._

_“Give him some more,” you prompted, smiling up at the blond. He nodded wordlessly, tearing off more. Nobody said anything as he continued to feed the hungry lizard in your hand._

_“You wanna hold him?” You asked after Rex had finished his meal. Kei looked at you warily, but you could tell he wanted to hold him. “Here, hold out your hand.”_

_Kei did as you instructed. You placed your free hand under his, ignoring the slight blush that rose on your cheeks due to the contact, and gently set Rex on his palm._

_“Make sure you support all four of his legs, otherwise he’ll freak out and squirm,” you said as you adjusted Kei’s fingers so your dragon was completely secure._

_Kei didn’t even try to hold back the smile as he looked down at Rex. You couldn’t help but think about how drastically his face changed when his lips decided to curl up for once. It made him look much softer and much more approachable._

_Yamaguchi, emboldened by his friend, stepped forward and gently touched Rex with his index finger. You watched, like a proud mother, as he seemed to become more comfortable as his strokes became more confident. Rex just blinked, tilting his head every so often, but otherwise remaining calm._

_“Why did you get a bearded dragon?” Kei asked, peering down at you over his glasses. You bit your lip, considering his question._

_“I’ve always loved lizards,” you mused. “They’re just so fascinating, and they remind me a lot of dinosaurs, which I also think are really cool. I saw a bearded dragon in a movie when I was younger, and I vowed that I would own one someday.”_

_“Hey, you love dinosaurs Tsukki! Maybe you should get one!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, looking excitedly at the blond. You weren’t sure, but you could swear that Kei’s cheeks darkened, as if he were embarrassed by what his friend had just said._

_Kei just nodded, his eyes returning to the lizard. Suddenly, Rex decided he wanted to take a stroll, and started to quickly scamper up Kei’s arm. With a jolt, he jumped back in surprise._

_“No, it’s fine! He’s just exploring!” You exclaimed, holding your hands out to stop him from moving. Kei stood completely still as Rex continued up his arm and eventually stopped on his shoulder. He seemed to consider his position for a moment, then wiggled his body as he pushed his face into the crook of Kei’s neck and got himself comfy for a nap._

_“He seems to like you, Tsukishima,” you grinned. You couldn’t deny that it was an adorable sight - a slightly flustered Kei and a sleepy dragon snuggled into his neck. Before he could protest, you grabbed your phone, snapped a quick picture of the adorable scene in front of you, and grinned. “I’ll send that to you later.”_

_Before slipping your phone into your pocket, you took a few moments to stare at the picture on your screen. Again, you couldn’t help but think about how much better Kei looked when he wasn’t putting on his “I hate everyone and everything” mask. He was, dare you admit it, very attractive and if he just smiled more…_

_Sighing inwardly, you put your phone away. “Alright guys, we probably should head to the library now.”_

And from that moment on, you seemed to wiggle your way into the lives of Kei Tsukishima and Tadashi Yamaguchi. While you were almost certain Kei only kept you around so he could visit his new pal Rex, you pretended that _maybe_ it was because he liked your company. And that was what you told yourself throughout the rest of high school and into college, when you “coincidentally” followed him to University. 

And you told yourself this because somewhere down the line, you completely fell for that stupid bean pole and his cold, distant personality.

* * *

“Please,” you whined, flopping down on the bed and staring up at the blond with your best puppy dog eyes. He was sitting with his legs crossed and a textbook propped in his lap. His expression was much less enthusiastic. 

You scooted closer, plopping your head in his lap and grinning up at him. His hand immediately found its way to your hair and he began running his fingers through it slowly, twirling small strands between his fingers absentmindedly as he contemplated your request. It was a habit he tended to do without even thinking, and you didn’t mind one bit. 

“I’ll buy you all the strawberry shortcake you can eat!” You wiggled your eyebrows, the grin never leaving your lips. You reached up and poked his cheek several times, hoping that maybe if you were annoying enough he'd agree just to get you to stop. With the hand that wasn't entangled in your hair, he snatched yours and pulled it away from his face.

Staring at you for a moment, he finally rolled his eyes and shoved your head out of his lap, much to your dismay. He finally let go of your hand, and it dropped to the bed like a dead weight. “Fine. I’ll help you study. But we both know it’s pointless. There’s not much I can do to make you not completely useless."

You sat up, eyes sparkling. “I’m going to pretend that you didn’t say anything after ‘Fine’! You’re the best!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms around him. 

If you were anybody else, Kei would have immediately stiffened at your touch and shoved you away. But, because you were you, he let it happen and was thankful that you couldn’t see the blush that rose on his cheeks due to feeling your body pressed up against his. He closed his eyes and leaned into your hug, allowing himself to practically melt into it. He could stay like this forever if you had allowed it. 

Unfortunately, it had to end eventually. Pulling away, you tucked an unruly piece of hair behind your ear. A small thing that never failed to make Kei’s heart skip a beat. 

“I’ll come over tomorrow evening after class. We can study for a bit, and then hang out. I’ll bring some alcohol and my Switch. Sound good?” 

Kei nodded, forcing his face to look indifferent to the proposal. Of course he was excited, but he didn’t want you to see that. You could never know of his true feelings, even if he had a hunch that you felt the same way. And that was because.. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, indicated an incoming phone call. Pulling it out, your face slightly fell as you saw the name on the screen. Shaking it off quickly, you tapped the green button to answer the call. 

“Hey Yushin! What’s up?”

Kei bit his lip and turned his attention back to the textbook in his lap, frowning slightly. 

Yushin Sato was calling. Your current boyfriend. And he hated how high pitched and peppy your voice got when you talked to him.

Kei and Yushin had met a handful of times, and he couldn’t think of a single positive thing about the boy. Of course, nobody was up to Kei’s standards when it came to you (except maybe himself), but he’d never tell you that. Instead, he feigned support while actually fuming on the inside. 

“Oh? Yeah! I can do that. I’m at Kei’s dorm. Give me 15 minutes and I’ll meet you there. Okay. Mhm. Okay, see you soon. Bye babe.” 

You hung up the phone, avoiding Kei’s gaze but not missing the raised eyebrow and cool expression on his face. 

“I… Yushin wants to meet for dinner. So I’m gonna head out.” 

You don't know why, but you felt guilty admitting this to your friend. As if you were committing some kind of crime. And in a way, you guessed you were. Despite the fact that you had been dating Yushin for a few months, deep down you knew your true feelings were still with the cocky, rude, arrogant, blond boy who sat in front of you. Yushin was just your most recent attempt to get over your feelings, and you hadn't quite decided if you were happy or disappointed that it was starting to work.

Kei just nodded, the normal coldness and distance returning to his eyes. “Alright. Just let me know ahead of time if you want to cancel tomorrow. There are a lot of better things I can do other than tutor you on a Friday night. Don’t waste my time.” 

You cringed inwardly, trying to not show the hurt on your face. Why was he being so cruel all of the sudden? 

Without responding, you gathered your things and walked to the door. A hand on the handle, you turned back to Kei. 

“I’ll text you. I’m sorry, but you’re gonna help me study whether you like it or not - HEY!” You dodged a pillow as it came flying towards you. Looking up with wide eyes, you met Kei’s golden gaze. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw a small smile on his lips. 

“I know. See you tomorrow.” His voice was oddly soft. It didn’t have the normal bite to it. Biting back a smile, you exited his dorm room and made your way to the cafe where you were to meet your boyfriend. 

Once you arrived, you saw that Yushin was already at a table, two coffees ordered and sitting there ready to be consumed. Your lips pulled up into a large, genuine smile. He really was a good boyfriend. He was caring, had a big heart, always had a warm smile for everyone.. you were happy. He made you happy. 

“Hey!” You exclaimed, sliding into the seat across from him. A smile graced his lips as his warm, blue eyes met yours. 

“Hey yourself. You look beautiful today as always.”

You blushed, waving your hand at him as if to say “Oh please!”. Picking up the coffee, you gratefully took a sip and couldn’t even hold back the moan that escaped your lips. 

“How has your day been?” You asked once you had swallowed the warm beverage, letting it work it’s magic to rejuvenate you after a long day of lectures. 

“It was good! I finally got back the paper that I had worked so hard on for my philosophy class and…” He started rambling on about his day, and you soon found yourself struggling to stay focused. But zoning out was something you were good at, as it was a skill you mastered early in life. You kept your eyes on his face and nodded every once in a while, and he never noticed you weren't quite paying attention.

It wasn’t that you didn’t care, but you just couldn’t stop your mind from wandering to other things.. Or other people. It seemed like no matter how hard you tried, your thoughts kept wandering back to the same smug smirk and golden eyes. 

_Ugh, please brain. Can we not do this now? Stop thinking about him! You have a very adorable, very kind boyfriend sitting right in front of you. Stop thinking about the abnormally large salt shaker._

“.. so it was great! How are you? How was your day?” 

His question snapped you out of your thoughts, bringing you back to reality. 

“Oh, it was good! Classes today were super boring, and I have an exam in biology next week that I’m not super confident about. Luckily, Kei has agreed to help me study.” You laughed, continuing. “Well, I kinda forced him to help. He’s so good at biology and I'm still struggling to tell the different between a plant cell and an animal cell. I need him to pass.” 

Yushin’s smile fell slightly at the mention of your best friend’s name. While he was well aware of your relationship with the blond, he wasn’t exactly a huge fan. He never told you that specifically, but it wasn’t hard to figure out. 

“Kei is going to help you? You know, I was really good at biology when I took it last year. I’d be happy to help!” He reached across the table to grab your hand in his, and his eyes dropped to your lips as he caressed the back of your hand with his thumb. "I can also think of lots of good ways to motivate you." When his eyes met yours again, they were a few shades darker. 

Trying to ignore the blush and quickened heart rate at those implications, you shook your head, waving your hand. “It’s fine! I’m awful to tutor, I don’t want to put you through that. Kei deserves to deal with it.” 

Yushin pulled his hand away from yours, his face dropping into a frown. He stared at his hands as he picked at the skin around his thumb. That was a bad habit of his, and you could tell that something was clearly bothering him. Leaning in a bit, you looked at him with concern. 

“What’s wrong? Something’s on your mind.” 

He looked like he was debating saying something before sighing and shaking his head. “It’s.. it’s nothing.” 

You shook your head, placing your hand on his arm gingerly. “No, tell me if something is bothering you. Please.” 

Yushin took his bottom lip between his teeth and looked all around the cafe before finally meeting your gaze. He sighed deeply before seemingly deciding to admit whatever was on his mind. 

“It’s just… you and him..”

“Who? Me and Kei?” 

“I’m..” Another deep sigh. “I’m kind of uncomfortable with it.” 

Your breath hitched, taken off guard but not completely surprised. “What?” You quietly asked. 

“You two are just so close..” 

“Well yeah,” you said, trying hard to not sound too defensive. “We’ve been friends since our first year of high school. You know he’s one of my closest friends.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Yushin said quietly. “I’m just.. Starting to realize that I don’t like it.” 

Your heart dropped as you processed those words. He didn’t like the two of you being friends? 

“I’d appreciate it if.. You didn’t see him as much.” Yushin was refusing to meet your eyes now, and somehow it only fueled the fire that was starting to rise in your belly. 

He didn’t want you and Kei to see each other as much? The thought of that hurt your heart. Kei was your best friend. The one person you could count on no matter what. It had been like that for years. And it wasn’t going to change because of someone who had only been in your life for a few months. 

“I-I don’t get what you’re trying to say,” you stammered, sounding dumb. Yushin ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. 

“I’m uncomfortable with you two being so close. I don’t like it. I’d appreciate it if you weren’t his friend anymore.” His voice was firm. 

It was like someone had dropped a bomb. Your heart stopped beating. The breath was knocked out of your chest. 

He wanted you and Kei to stop being friends? 

That wasn’t possible. 

You may have liked Yushin but.. 

“What? You know I can’t do that.. Kei is my best friend,” you whispered, your hands starting to fidget in your lap. 

Yushin’s face hardened, and his lips pressed into a firm line. His eyes looked strangely cold and you weren’t used to it at all. “I’m sorry but.. If you can’t pick between him or I, then I don’t think we have much of a future.” 

Your stomach dropped as you struggled to process exactly what your boyfriend was saying. If it came between choosing between the two… 

“What are you saying?” You asked quietly, hoping the wavering in your voice wasn’t as noticeable to him. 

“I..” He rubbed his eyes, sighing. “I’m saying that it’s me or him. I don’t want to be the second choice anymore.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he held up a hand, a sad smile on his face. “Please, don’t tell me I’m not. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see where your feelings truly lie. Every time I text you, you're with Kei. Every time I want to make plans, you have to stop and think about whether or not you already have plans with Kei. You've even cancelled a few dates because he needed you for something and you couldn't say no." He sighed, sounding exhausted. "I hate to ask this of you.. But.. I can’t keep doing this if it’s not me. If your choice isn’t me.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes and you fought with everything you had to hold them back. You stared at the man in front of you, your mouth opening and closing over and over again. Yet, you couldn’t seem to form any words. Nothing your brain could come up with would reassure him no matter how much you wanted to. 

He seemed to understand this, and with a sad smile, Yushin gently grabbed your hand. 

“That’s all I needed. Thank you for a fabulous few months, but I think it’s time for me to move on. I wish you nothing but the best of luck.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze and stood up. With a final smile, he turned and walked out of the cafe without another word. 

You sat, completely dumbstruck and trying to process what had just happened. 

_He… broke.. up.. with... me…_

You blinked once, allowing the tears to finally spill over. Yushin was a good person, and he had made you genuinely happy. That wasn’t why you were crying though. 

You were crying out of frustration. 

Because no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to get rid of your stupid feelings for the stupid boy who held your heart. When it had come time to pick between your boyfriend or your best friend, you both knew without saying who the winner was.

No matter how many people you dated, no matter how many people you tried to fall for… it was useless. Because if you couldn’t keep a boy as sweet as Yushin.. Then you were out of luck. 

_Why!_ You screamed internally. _Why did it have to be the worst, most emotionally constipated boy on the face of the stupid planet?!_

Slamming your hands on the table, you pushed yourself up and rushed out the door. You paid no attention to where you were walking, and innocent bystanders had to practically jump out of the way to avoid being body slammed by you. You didn’t realize though. Your thoughts were elsewhere as you aggressively tapped on the screen of your phone and held it up to your ear.

“Hello?” The voice on the other side answered. Hearing his voice seemed to calm you down, even if just a little.

“Can you tell me why all men suck?” You asked, the frustration clearly evident in your voice. You felt your body loosen a little at the sound of his laughter.

“Well hello to you too. Long time no talk. How’s my favorite wife-to-be?”

Spotting an empty bench, you threw yourself down onto it and ran a hand through your hair. “Not doing too great. I just got dumped.” 

You heard Akiteru sigh loudly. “Oof. His loss. Are you upset about it?” 

You bit your lip, contemplating his question. “I guess? I mean I probably should be more sad, but honestly I’m just super frustrated if anything.” 

“I see. So he wasn’t the one that was going to steal you away from me?” 

You scoffed, a small grin playing on your lips. “Take me away from you? Never in a million years. You know you’re the only one for me!” 

“Okay, awesome. Because I was at a wedding last month and it gave me lots of good ideas about what we could do for ours. I was thinking…” 

Your grin grew larger as Akiteru continued to ramble on about random wedding things. This was why you enjoyed talking to him about certain stuff over his brother. He just had a good way of cheering you up and getting your mind off of whatever was bothering you _without_ being slightly condescending. He was also a great listener, and didn’t make you feel like you were being scrutinized for every choice you made. 

You still had no idea how the two of them came from the same set of parents. 

He went on for a few more moments before there was a pause, and then silence. You braced yourself, knowing what question was probably coming next. 

“So why'd you guys break up?” 

What were you supposed to say?

_Because I'm in love with your brother no matter how hard I try to not be and my boyfriend didn't like it very much._

Yeah, no.

But you had an idea that Akiteru already knew your true feelings. While you had never explicitly told him about your feelings for his brother, he was a smart man and had picked up a few things over the years. Plus, there was no way you would have stuck around Kei longer than necessary if there wasn’t a little.. something more. 

You chose to remain silent, eyes focused on a rock on the ground that you were gently nudging with your shoe. 

“Does Kei have anything do with it?” His words were soft and understanding. The gentleness in his voice seemed to break through the frustration you were feeling and bring out the sadness that you had tried to shove deep down. Not for the boy you had just lost, but for the one you’d likely never have. 

“No,” you lied horribly, not even able to hold back the obvious sniffle as tears started to form in your eyes. You groaned as they spilled over. "Okay, fine. Maybe...” Then, a little quieter, “Yes.”

“He’s such an idiot,” Akiteru grumbled. 

You shook your head. “No, he was really nice about it. He wasn’t mad or anything, he ju-”

“I’m not talking about the boy that broke up with you.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know how to respond to that. Was he talking about his brother? He had to have been. You went to question him further, but he cut you off. 

“Hey, I have to go finish up some things here at work. Let’s continue talking about this tomorrow, okay?”

Your heart fell slightly, disappointed. Talking to him had managed to cheer you up, and the longer you talked to him, the longer you could put off telling Kei about what had happened. 

“Okay. Thanks for listening, Teru.” 

“Anytime. Now go get yourself some ice cream and a good movie. You deserve it.” 

You smiled, wiping the tears out of your eyes. “Okay. Bye Teru.” 

“Talk to you soon!”

After hearing the click, signaling the end of the call, you opened up another contact on your phone. Your finger hovered over the “call” option as you debated with yourself. Should you call him? 

Groaning to yourself, you shoved your phone back into your pocket. No, you didn’t want to tell him just yet. You had to figure out a lie first. You could never tell him that _he_ was the reason you and your boyfriend broke up.

You dropped your head in your hands and pulled at your hair, the sadness once again being replaced with intense frustration. So intense that you wanted to scream and stomp and hit something as hard as you could.

_Why him? Why does it have to be him?_

Life was cruel. Love wasn’t fair. 

This sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! I'm back with another not one-shot! Tsukki is probably tied with Noya as my favorite character, so I've been extremely excited to write this one. I think it's going to be three chapters, but I'm not 100% certain so I'm just leaving it up in the air for now. 
> 
> Let me know if there are any mistakes you see! I wrote half of this chapter while Whiteclaw tipsy, and while I've tried to go over and make sure it's all good, I'm not the most observant, lol. Comments are always welcome and encouraged!! I love hearing what people think about my writing :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I just love Big Brother Akiteru okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda really struggled with this bc after the first chapter, I really didn't have a plan for where I wanted this to go. But I think I'm happy with it, so hopefully you are too!!

Chapter 2 

* * *

Dragging yourself to class the next day was a battle, but somehow you managed to accomplish it. It didn’t help that the only class you had today was the very class you had met your now ex-boyfriend in. Normally, the two of you sat next to each other and wrote little notes to each other to pass the time. Obviously today was different, and when you walked into the lecture hall you made sure to walk to the complete opposite side of where you normally sat and find a seat in the back. Yushin had already been in his normal seat, but you weren’t sure if he had seen you or not. 

_God, I hope not. I look like a disaster today._

You cringed inwardly when you realized that the sweatshirt you had picked to go with your black sweatpants was a sweatshirt you had stolen from Kei sometime in high school. “Karasuno Volleyball” was clearly written in bold letters across the front. 

_Oh my god, read the room you dumbass! I’m so stupid. I really hope he didn’t see me now._

You sighed, putting your head down and burying your face in your arms. 

_I just need today to be over._

  
As expected, class was rough. While you were physically present, your mind was a different story. No matter how much you tried to push the thoughts away and focus, all you could think about was Yushin breaking up with you and the stupid reason behind it. 

His feelings weren’t stupid, of course. In fact, they were perfectly valid. Putting yourself in his shoes, you knew you would not be happy if you felt like you were always coming second to another girl. No, you weren’t mad at him. You were mad at yourself.

You really liked Yushin, and dating him had been a lot of fun. You had even started to think that maybe the “L” word was going to come in to play soon. He was exactly the kind of person you needed to help you get over the stupid crush you had on a certain angsty blond. 

But you also knew that you couldn’t fulfil his wish of cutting ties with Kei. Crush or no, he was your best friend and had been for years. It wouldn’t be as simple as just saying “Oh hey, by the way we’re not allowed to be friends anymore.” Though, you definitely could have tried harder to put a little more distance between the two of you. And maybe not make it so obvious as to which one you preferred. 

_Feelings are stupid. I hate them. Maybe Kei is on to something after all._

You could feel the tears forming in your eyes and you blinked them back angrily. You had cried enough last night. The very visible bags underneath your eyes were there to prove it. 

_No. No more tears. Get it together._

Finally, after what felt like years, the professor announced the end of class and you were the first out of the room. You didn’t want there to be any chance whatsoever of bumping into or locking eyes with your ex, so you had been packed up and ready to go before class had even ended. Once you got outside of the building, you still didn’t bother slowing down until you felt a vibration in your pocket, signaling a phone call. Stepping to the side of the sidewalk and coming to a stop, you answered. 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“.. Why do you sound so out of breath?” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the snarky tone. 

“I was in the middle of working out,” you replied sarcastically. 

“Oh, did Hell finally freeze over?” 

“If you’re just going to bully me, Kei, then I’m gonna hang up.” 

“Okay, that’s fine. Just come to my dorm right now. And hurry, because I have practice soon.” 

“But I’m literally on the other side of campus right now,” you groaned. All you wanted to do was go and faceplant in your bed and then sleep until you weren’t feeling sad anymore. You had even been debating cancelling the study session with Kei that you had planned for that night. You just weren’t in the mood. Plus, you still weren’t ready to tell him about what had happened with Yushin. Or, more specifically, why it had happened. 

“That sucks. But hey, more exercise for you to get in, right? See you in a bit.” And before you could argue back, you heard a beep and the line went dead. 

“That fucker hung up on me!” 

As you stomped across campus towards Kei’s dorm, you weren’t able to stay frustrated for too long. The thought of seeing him brought a smile to your face, and even if you weren’t sure exactly what you would tell him, you knew that he would manage to cheer you up in his own special way. Because despite his nonchalant attitude, snarky personality, and mean resting bitch face.. You knew that he did care about you. He just showed it differently than everyone else. 

When you finally reached his dorm room, you pounded on the door, hoping to annoy him. “Open up!”

Nothing could have prepared you for what happened next, though. When the door opened, you were fully expecting to see Kei glaring at you over his glasses. However, the person who was smiling down at you was certainly not him.

“Teru!” You practically screamed, launching yourself at the man. He didn’t have time to react as you leaped at him, grabbing on to his neck and throwing your legs around him. He laughed as he stumbled backwards, wrapping his arms around you to keep you from falling. 

“Hey! Long time, no see!” 

After a bit longer of squeezing him, you finally loosened your grip and dropped your legs to the floor. Before he completely let you go, however, Akiteru pulled you in for an actual hug. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked as you pulled away, a smile taking over your entire face.

“I wanted to see my future wife, of course!” He winked at you, returning the smile. 

“But what about work?” 

“It’s Friday, so I decided to get my weekend started early! Mom’s been nagging me to come home for a visit, so I figured I may as well make a pit stop here on my way home.” 

“This is the best surprise ever! You have no idea how shitty my day has been, this has made everything so much better!” 

Kei scoffed, reminding you that he was even in the room. Hoisting his athletic bag over his shoulder, he walked towards the door. 

“Alright, well since you two clearly need your own room, I’ll be heading to practice now.” He did not sound amused, nor did his face show any signs of happiness. However, there was a look in his eyes that let you know he probably wasn’t as unhappy as he wanted you to believe. 

“Awh, come on, there’s no need to be jealous. I’m only stealing her while you’re away at practice, and then I promise I’ll return her when you get back.” Akiteru slapped his taller brother on the shoulder, grinning at him. You, like the mature adult you were, stuck your tongue out at Kei when his brother wasn’t looking. To your pleasant surprise, you saw his lips twitch ever so slightly and you could tell he was actively trying to hold back a smile. 

“Tch. Whatever.” And with that, he left the room. 

“You know, I know it’s just a joke but if we ever actually got married, Kei would be absolutely furious. Having to deal with me being in the family for the rest of his life? I think he’d rather off himself than deal with that.” 

“Pft, yeah he’d definitely be furious all right,” Akiteru laughed. Then quieter, so quiet you could barely make out what he said, “But I don’t think it’d be for the reason you’re thinking.”

“What?” 

“Nothing! C’mon, I’m gonna treat you to something sweet and we can catch up. Sound good?” 

“Absolutely! Let’s go!” 

_What did he mean, not for the reason I’m thinking?_

The two of you chatted as you walked, Akiteru catching you up on typical work drama and things he’d been up to recently. It had been quite awhile since you’d seen him, so the conversation never felt forced or awkward. After securing some delicious boba tea, the two of you found a bench to sit on. It wasn’t until then, as you both sat sipping on your drinks, that the conversation stalled and silence enveloped you. 

“So..” Akiteru broke the silence first. “You wanna talk about it?” 

You felt your heart drop, and the sadness that had been temporarily forgotten came flooding back. Sighing, you absentmindedly played with your straw as you tried to piece together your thoughts. “Well, I thought things were going well. But.. he didn’t.”

 _God, this is so embarrassing.. It’s not like I can’t talk to him about my problems, I’ve never struggled with that before.. But when it’s his own brother that’s the root of the problem?_

“So how does he-who-shall-not-be-named come into the picture?” 

Despite the sadness you were feeling, you couldn't help but giggle at the nickname he had for his brother. 

“HewantedmetostopbeingfriendswithKei,” you muttered, biting on the straw as you talked. Akiteru nudged you with his shoulder.

“English, please.” 

You groaned, refusing to meet his eyes. “He wanted me to stop being friends with Kei.”

Akiteru’s eyebrow shot up. “Really?” 

You nodded. “Yeah. He felt like he was always coming in second to Kei. He wasn’t comfortable with our friendship, so he asked me to end it.” 

Akiteru didn’t reply, just simply hummed as he sipped on his drink. 

“And I completely understand his feelings. If I were in his shoes, I would feel the same way. His reasons are completely valid.” 

“Yeah, but he has to know that it isn’t exactly fair to ask you to stop being friends with someone you’ve known a lot longer. He sounds insecure, and I guarantee that if it wasn’t your friendship with Kei it would have been something else.” 

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean like I said, I completely understand where he’s coming from. I probably could have put a little more distance between myself and Kei.” You groaned again, running a hand over your face. “I’m so stupid.” 

Akiteru tilted his head down, forcing you to meet his eyes. “You and my brother have been close since, for whatever reason, you decided he was worth befriending. You stuck around no matter how much he sassed you, rolled his eyes at you, and pissed you off. I guarantee he tried to push you away at first, because that’s just who he is. But here you are, almost four years later. That is no easy feat, and that alone shows how much you care about him.” 

He rested his chin on his fist, still staring at you with a stern look in his eyes. “A friendship like that isn’t one that you can simply just forget about. Especially when there wasn’t an argument or falling out of some kind to make you angry enough to want to stay away. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely think that if you randomly told Kei you didn’t want to be friends anymore, he would say something harsh to hurt you. But only because he would be really hurt, and we both know how good he is at communication and handling emotions.” 

_Oh yeah, he would definitely find a way to absolutely wreck me emotionally. No doubt about that._

“Maybe I’m biased because it’s my brother, but I want you to take a moment and think. Would you have been happy in your relationship after ending your friendship with Kei? Or do you think you would have eventually started to resent your boyfriend for giving you that ultimatum?” 

You didn’t say anything, but you knew that Akiteru knew the answer to that question anyways. You dropped your gaze to the ground and stared at a particularly interesting crack in the concrete. 

“So were his feelings valid? Yes. But yours are too. And that’s equally important. So be sad that the relationship ended, but don’t be sad about why. Because the way I see it, one of your relationships was going to end yesterday, and you chose to keep the one that is the most important to you. In the end, your happiness is the biggest thing you should be worried about. You- Oof!”

You cut him off with a tight hug, burying your face in his shoulder as you squeezed him as tight as you could. He laughed as he patted your head affectionately. Pulling away, you wiped at the tears you hadn’t even realized had formed.

“Have you ever considered a career in therapy? Because you’re really good at making people feel better.” 

He gave you a warm smile and squeezed your arm. “I’m glad I could help. Hey, one more thing.. Don’t give up on Kei, okay?” 

You scrunched your eyebrows together, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“He’s..” Akiteru sighed. “He told you about what happened when he was younger, right? How I lied to him about playing volleyball?” You nodded, prompting him to continue. “He won’t say it, but I think I really messed him up. I’m probably the main reason he’s so cold and reserved today. He looked up to me and trusted me with everything, and I completely shattered all of that. Because of me, he doesn’t like to do anything that could lead to him getting hurt. He pushes all of his feelings to the backburner, because if he doesn’t acknowledge them then he can’t be let down by them.” 

You bit your lip as you listened, unsure as to where this was going. 

“Just be patient with him. Give him some time. Stick with him and I really do think he’ll start to come to terms with some stuff.” You opened your mouth to reply, but Akiteru cut you off after quickly checking his phone. “Oh man, I really need to hit the road so I can make it home before dinner. Mom is going to kill me if I don’t show up. Kei’s probably still in practice though..” 

“It’s fine!” You said as you stood up, stretching out your arms. “I know the passcode to get into his dorm.” 

Akiteru looked surprised. “Wow, he really shared his passcode with you?”

You tossed your drink into the trash and turned back to give Akiteru a mischievous grin. “Nope.”

Shaking his head, Akiteru followed you back to Kei’s dorm where you said your goodbyes and parted ways. After “breaking” into”Kei’s dorm (you had sneakily watched him enter his passcode several times, but never told him you knew it) you plopped down on his bed. He still hadn’t returned from practice, but you figured he wouldn’t be gone too much longer. His coaches tended to be more generous on Fridays, and often let them out earlier than usual.

“Well, I guess I may as well start studying now. Oh man, what is Kei going to be more surprised about? Me being in his dorm or me studying on my own?” 

Grinning to yourself, you reached for the bag you had discarded before going out with Akiteru and rummaged through it. 

_Thank god I was in a rush this morning and didn’t bother taking out my biology materials from yesterday._

Getting comfy, you grabbed a pillow and stretched out on your stomach. You put the pillow underneath your chin to support your head and pulled one of the neatly folded blankets over you. Content with your position, you opened your textbook to the section you were going to study first and began to read. 

Well, you tried to anyway. But it seemed like your mind wanted to focus on anything but the material in front of you. 

_Awh man, I don’t have my Switch with me. Or alcohol. Both sound great right about now. I guess I could always run back to my dorm… ugh no, it’s so far. And I am so lazy._

_Maybe I can convince Kei to do it for me? No, he doesn’t like me that much._

_I guess we’ll just have to watch a movie tonight. I really hope he doesn’t make me watch something boring like usual. Oh, I do remember seeing an ad for this interesting looking documentary about aliens. Maybe we could watch that?_

_Focus!!! You need to study!!!_

_I really hate biology. I hate it! I’m not even majoring in it! So why do I need it! Google exists for a reason, and I’m sure if I’m ever asked to identify the different components of a plant cell, I’ll have some type of device at my disposal. It’s not like anyone’s going to break in, hold a gun to my head, and then tell me to list the different parts of one to save my life. That’d be wild though… I’d definitely die._

_What shampoo does Kei use? His pillow smells so good._

Despite feeling how heavy your eyelids were, you made the smart (very dumb) decision to bury your face into the pillow. The scent was comforting, and it was almost like getting a hug from the owner, who would never willingly hug you first.

“I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a minute.. A long blink, if you will,” you muttered to yourself, letting your eyes close and your mind succumb to the sweet darkness of sleep. 

“... do about it?” 

“Nothing, that’s what.”

You weren’t sure how long you were asleep, but the sound of familiar voices slowly brought you back to the realm of the living. 

“Tsuuuuukkiiiii. C’mon.” You knew that voice! It was Tadashi! “If you keep being like this, you’re going to regret it.” 

“And if you keep being nosy, you’re going to regret that.” 

“I’m just trying to help you. This has just been going on for way too long. I think it’s time you manned up and did something.”

You heard a loud sigh. “Yama, I just got out of the shower. I’ll text you later, okay?” 

“Fine. But I’m serious Tsukki! You can’t hide from it forever! You need to-” Tadashi’s voice was abruptly cut short, and you heard a loud thud. You assumed Kei had aggressively slammed his phone onto the desk. Figuring now was a good time to “wake up”, you shifted around loudly and stretched out your arms. 

“I see you’ve been productive.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. 

“Hey, it’s been a rough day so just-” You opened your eyes, ready to argue with the blond. Your words died on your tongue though as you took in the state that Kei was currently in. 

He was standing in the middle of the room, dressed only in sweatpants that both dipped just a little too low, but also not low enough. Drying his hair with a towel, he stared at you with the usual bored look that he always had. However, he wasn’t wearing his glasses, and you thought that his face looked significantly softer without them. You couldn’t ignore how the muscles in his arm flexed as he ran the towel back and forth over his hair. 

You quickly buried your face back into the pillow, hoping that he hadn’t noticed you completely drinking in the sight of him and how red your face had turned because of it. You could hear your heart thudding in your chest as it fluttered around wildly. You had always found Kei attractive but this? This was a whole new ball game. 

“Finished getting dressed,” you muttered, voice muffled by the pillow. You heard the sounds of what you assumed was Kei finding and putting on a shirt, and then the towel ruffling softly as it was thrown into the laundry basket. 

“Don’t be a baby. You act like you’ve never seen a shirtless person before.”

“Yeah, but never you.” 

“Is it that bad?” 

“...” 

“Well I’m now fully clothed so don’t worry. I won’t subject your innocent eyes to anymore indecency tonight.” 

You scoffed, bringing your head back up so you could glare at him. “Innocent? If either one of us is innocent here, it’s definitely not me.” 

“I’d say. Sneaking into a guy’s dorm while he’s not home? That’s pretty scandalous. How’d you even get my passcode? I’ll have to see if I can change it now.” 

You pushed yourself up into a sitting position, holding back a pout as Kei slipped his glasses back on. “You’re not exactly discreet when you type it in. Go ahead and change it. I’ll just figure it out again.” You gave him a sweet smile, to which he just rolled his eyes in response. “How long have I been sleeping?” 

Kei checked his phone and contemplated. “Well, I got back from practice about thirty minutes ago so you’ve been out at least that long.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up when you came back?” 

“You were snoring pretty loudly, I wasn’t sure you’d hear me.” 

“Shut up, I was not!” You shouted, throwing a pillow at his head. He stepped aside and dodged it before glaring at you. 

“I’m not kidding. I heard you from outside in the hall.” His voice was completely devoid of any emotion, which made you think that maybe he wasn’t kidding after all. Your cheeks felt hot and you threw the cover over your head to hide your embarrassment. 

“You also mumbled my name a few times. Why were you dreaming about me, huh?” 

Your heart stopped. 

_What!!!!!! What the fuck was I dreaming about? I can’t remember? I mean it’s not like I’ve never had a dream about him but.. Oh god._

“I was dreaming about all of the ways I could kill you and where I could hide the body.” You pulled the cover back down so you could give him a nasty look. “Stop lying, now I know you’re definitely messing with me.” 

He just shrugged, smirking. “Alright, whatever helps you sleep at night… which is apparently me.” 

“Okay,” you threw the covers off of you and hopped off the bed, marching angrily towards the door. “I’m gonna leave if you’re just going to bully me.” 

“So dramatic. Sit down, we have studying to do, remember?” He cocked his head and gave you a pointed look before nodding towards the materials you had been drooling on not too long ago. Huffing, you stomped back over to the bed and sat down. Kei sat down next to you, pulling your textbook in his lap as he did so. 

He didn’t leave much space between the two of you, which was not totally unusual for your friendship. While Kei was not a very touchy person, you were and it seems that he had given up on trying to fight you every time you leaned on him, gave him a hug, or grabbed his hand for a moment. That didn’t mean he did those things, it just means he didn’t cuss you out when you did. 

You scooted closer to him, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you did so. Your knee was resting against his, and you leaned into him so you could get a better view of the book in his lap. Your face was so close that you could smell his freshly washed hair and the shampoo that you had liked so much. 

_Focus. Focus. Focus._

This was going to be harder than you thought. 

Surprisingly though, you managed to get a good solid hour of studying before Kei’s phone rang and interrupted your session. You were about to hop of the bed for a stretch break until you saw the name that was popping on Kei’s screen requesting a FaceTime. Before Kei could react, you snatched the phone out of his hand and swiped, answering the call. 

“KUROO!” 

The boy on the other side of the screen immediately perked up, clearly surprised to see your face. 

“Whoa! Damn Tsukki, you got hot!”

You grinned at Kuroo before turning to the boy next to you, who was rolling his eyes. He snatched his phone and focused the camera on his unamused face. You saw Kuroo’s face fall.

“Oh. Well that’s disappointing.” 

“Ha ha. What do you want?” Kei's voice lacked amusement, but it wasn't as cold as it typically was.

“Awh c’mon, cheer up or I’m not going to invite you?” 

“Good. Because I probably don’t want to go anyways.” You smacked Kei’s shoulder, earning a glare. 

“Don’t be like that! You don’t even know where I’m going to invite you.” 

“WAIT!” You interrupted, leaning over Kei’s lap to make your face the center of the shot. “Am I invited?” 

“Uh, duh?” Kuroo gave you a look that said “Well obviously, dumbass”. 

You grinned, leaning back to take your normal spot. “Okay. I’m in!” 

Kei sighed. “You don’t even know where he’s inviting us. You could be agreeing to go to a murder’s house to be killed.” 

You shrugged. “Beats studying!” 

“And this is why you’re my favorite of this dynamic duo,” Kuroo laughed. “ANYWAYS! Bokuto and Akaashi are here for the weekend, and there’s a party that some of my friends are throwing. We thought it would be fun to get good ol’ Gymnasium 3 back together.

“Awh, cute!” You exclaimed.

“No thanks,” Kei said at the exact same time. You gasped and snatched the phone out of his hand and smiled at Kuroo. 

“Don’t listen, we will definitely be there! I’ll drag him out if I have to.” 

“Please, your arms are limp noodles. You couldn’t,” Kei scoffed. 

“Tsukishima,” you growled. Kuroo gasped on the other end, and even Kei’s eyes widened a bit. You rarely ever called him by that, not since the two of you became close. “You’re going.” 

“Great! I’ll text you the time and address! Bring some extra alcohol if you want, but I’ll have lots to spare so don’t worry.” 

You grinned and gave him a thumbs up before the call ended. Handing the phone back to Kei, you could see that he was less than pleased with you. 

“Oh, come on Kei. Please?” 

“You can go if you want. But why do I have to go?” 

You grabbed his arm, gripping tight. “Because you’re my best friend and it’ll be fun with you there! Plus, I know it’s been awhile since you guys have all seen each other. Just go! You don’t even have to drink, we can grab some soda or something for you.” 

Kei looked away, and you were almost positive it was because his cheeks were starting to turn the slightly shade of pink. “I’m not a child, I don’t need soda.” 

“Kei,” you pleaded again, this time sticking your bottom lip out in a pout. “Please? I got dumped yesterday. Have some pity on me and help me forget about it for a bit.” 

“Ah yes, I was wondering when you were going to bring that up.” 

Your pouting faced turned into a look of confusion. “What?” 

“The breakup. Akiteru told me to be extra nice to you because of it. Why didn’t you tell me?” When his gaze met yours, you could swear you saw a look of hurt. 

“Uh..” You started. What were you supposed to say? There was no way you could tell him the real reason you got dumped. Absolutely not. “He just said it wasn’t working out. And I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want you to pity me. You’re weird when you try to be nice.. Wait a second. If you knew this whole time then how come you’ve been even more mean than usual?” 

“Well, you said so yourself. I’m weird when I try to be nice.” 

You gave him a genuine smile, because you knew that was his own way of saying that he really did care. Catching him off guard, you wrapped your arms around him in a hug and rested your chin on his shoulder. 

“So…. does that mean you’ll go?” You looked at him hopefully. You knew that if you held out long enough he would eventually break. He always did. 

“Fine. But if you get too drunk I’m leaving you there.” 

You jumped up with excitement, hopping around the room. “YES! I mean, please don’t leave me, BUT YES!” 

Kei groaned and laid back on his bed, grabbing a pillow to cover his face with. You wanted to feel bad for forcing him to go out and be social, his absolute least favorite thing to do besides maybe talking to that orange-haired kid he played volleyball with in high school. But you knew that he would probably not have an awful time once he got to see his friends. He would never really admit it, but you knew he liked their company. 

“Okay, I’m going to run back to my dorm and change. I’ll text you when I’m done and then we’ll meet back up and walk to this party together. Deal?” When Kei didn’t answer, you gave him a sweet smile as you opened the door. “I know your passcode. If you try to bail, I swear I will come into this room and drag you out with my noodle arms.” 

And with that, you exited his room and rushed off to your own dorm to get ready. 

This was a pleasant turn of events. 

* * *

One thing that really frustrated you about Kei is how little effort he had to put in to look so good. He had texted you not even 20 minutes after you got back to your dorm and told you he was ready to go. You, on the other hand, had spent 20 minutes alone just trying to tame your hair. It took you another thirty to find an outfit that said “I’m trying but I don’t want it to look like I’m trying” and then another 30 to slap some makeup on and make it look good. So when you finally met up with Kei and saw how effortlessly handsome he looked in his black jeans and white sweatshirt, you wanted to scream. 

“You know we’re going to a house party, not a gang meetup, right?” Kei asked as you approached him, immediately making you feel insecure. You looked over your outfit that you were actually proud of (black booties, ripped jeans, a plain white tank and a black leather jacket to top it off) and then back up at Kei. 

“Is it that bad?” 

Kei rolled his eyes and started walking in what you assumed was the direction of the party. “It’s fine. C’mon.” 

You heard the party before you saw it and you could feel Kei stiffen up next to you as you got closer. Feeling guilty because you knew that he was genuinely going out of his comfort zone for you, you reached down and grabbed his hand to give it a squeeze. He glanced at you from the side of his eyes, and you gave him a reassuring smile. 

“Thanks for coming Kei. I really do appreciate it.” 

He just nodded and kept walking. You were very happy to see that he didn’t pull his hand away, but instead kept a firm grip on yours. Feeling a warmth in your chest, you walked into the house with a smile that had nothing to do with the party. 

The party was already in full swing, and Kei stayed pressed against you as the two of you navigated your way through. He had (unfortunately) dropped your hand, but kept a tight grip on your shoulder so the two of you didn’t get separated in the crowd as you walked to find your friends. There were a few times that a random guy would walk up to you with a smile on their face, only to take one look at the angry giraffe behind you before scampering off.

_Sigh. Usually I wouldn't be upset about having my own personal bodyguard, but does he have to look like he's going to murder them?_

Only about ten minutes had passed before you finally heard a familiar voice. 

“TSUKKI-POO!” 

Kei’s grip on your shoulder immediately tightened, but you spun around to find the source. Your eyes landed on the large man who was pushing his way through the crowd towards you, a dumb grin on his face. You had only met Bokuto once before, but you only needed to meet him once to like him. 

He stopped in front of you, nearly spilling his drink all over himself in the process. He didn’t seem to realize that though as he waved his hands around in excitement. “And I see you brought your girlfriend! Hey, hey, hey!” 

“Oh no, we aren’t dating,” you corrected him. “Actually, I’m fresh on the market so if you see any cute boys, make sure you send them my way!” 

“Oh ho? Can I put my own name in the running?” Bokuto wagged his eyebrows suggestively. You laughed and put a hand on his shoulder, leaning in close to his ear. 

“If you think you could handle me.” 

Pulling back, you saw that Bokuto’s face had turned bright red and he coughed on the drink he had just taken a sip of. 

“A-alrighty then!” He stammered, trying to gather himself again. “Lets get some alcohol in you two!” He turned and motioned for you to follow him through the crowd.

Where was all this confidence coming from? You had no idea. Normally, you were not an open flirt like you were being right now. And you weren’t sure it was the best thing to do the day after getting dumped. But hey, this was university, right? And if there was ever a time for flirting and meaningless rebounds, it was now. 

On thing you did know though, was that Kei didn’t walk as close to you as he had before. 

After getting the two of you cups of questionable alcohol, Bokuto led you over to where Kuroo and Akaashi were standing. As you approached, Kuroo’s eyebrows shot up.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in!” Then he grinned at you. “Literally?” 

You slapped Kei on the back, surprising him. “Nope! He came on his own! He went on and on about how he could never let a girl go to a party alone, that his conscious would eat him alive if he ever did such a thing. Very noble, if you ask me.” You put your hand to your forehead as if you were swooning. 

“Oh really?” Kuroo sipped his drink, giving Kei an odd look. You didn’t even need to look at your friend to know he either rolling his eyes or glaring at you. So you just kept drinking, pretending that you were oblivious. 

“Our friend here is on the lookout for a cute guy tonight, but I already called dibs so you guys better stay in your own lanes.” Bokuto stepped up next to you and threw an arm over your shoulders. With his other hand, he made the “I’m watching you gesture” to the three other boys. 

“Is that right? Darn, if I had known that I would have snatched you up when I invited you to this party.” Kuroo’s face fell in a mock pout. “Damn it. Guess I’ll just have to try and win you over.” 

Bokuto pulled you closer to him, squeezing you against his side. “Don’t even think about it bro. The prettiest girl here deserves the prettiest boy! Just the way it is.” 

“Oh come on, we all know the prettiest boy here is Kaashi, no contest.” 

Said boy glared at both Kuroo and Bokuto before shaking his head. “Leave me out of this.” He gave you an apologetic smile and in that moment, you had to admit you didn’t deny that Akaashi was, in fact, the prettiest boy at the party. 

The boys then started rambling on about stuff you didn’t quite understand, but you were perfectly content to just sit back and watch them chat. The way they interacted with each other was so entertaining that you didn’t even need to know what they were talking about. And you were even happier when Kei stepped forward and actually joined the conversation as well. 

You watched with a small smile on his face as he interacted with his friends, periodically sipping his drink in between snarky remarks. The warmth in your chest from earlier returned as you watched him, so happy to see him like this and coming out of his cold, dark shell for a bit. While his face didn’t exactly give it away, you could tell by his body language and how much he was talking that he wasn’t having the worst time of his life.

“I’m gonna get another cup, anyone want more?” Kuroo asked, looking around at you all. Without thinking, you quickly chugged the rest of your drink and handed him your cup proudly. He looked at you, clearly surprised, but took your cup and walked off. 

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Akaashi said, leaning towards you a bit. “That stuff is really strong, but it’s hard to taste the alcohol.” 

You nodded, suddenly understanding why your head felt so fuzzy after only one cup. Leaning towards Kei, you peered over his cup and saw that it was still half full. You looked up at him, a pout on your lips. 

“Don’t be boring! Drink more.” 

“One of us has to get us home tonight. And I really doubt it’s gonna be you.” 

Your pout deepend. “Way to have faith in me. You know, you really are a four-eyed jerk.” 

“And you’re a lightweight dumbass. So I guess that makes us even, huh?” But despite his harsh words, he was grinning. His grin always made your heart skip a beat, but you were wondering if the alcohol was making it affect you a little more than usual because it definitely made you happier than it should have. 

When Kuroo returned with your drink, he nodded his head in the direction of the crowd. “Don’t look now but there’s a guy over there who can’t seem to keep his eyes off of you.” 

Of course, in your brilliant state of mind, you immediately looked in the direction of Kuroo’s nod and loudly said “What? Where?”, which caused Kei to pinchthe bridge of his nose and shake his head slightly.

“Over there. He has brown hair and is wearing a red shirt and grey pants.” 

“Oh, I think I- Oh shit.” Your stomach dropped and you took a step back. That face. You knew that face. 

It was Yushin. And not only was it him, but you saw his arm wrapped around the waist of a girl, pulling her close to him. You watched as he leaned down and whispered something in the girl’s ear, making her giggle. 

_Whyyyyy, out of everyone at this stupid University, does he have to be here? I’m here to get OVER him!!! But it sure looks like he wasted no time getting over me._

You couldn’t help the sinking feeling of hurt that you felt in the pit of your stomach. I mean yeah, he was the one who dumped you, but he already had another girl on his hip? That hurt. 

Suddenly, you were regretting ever leaving your dorm. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? Oop.

Chapter 3

* * *

“You okay?” Kuroo looked at you with concern, wondering why your face had completely fallen. Kei, on the other hand, followed your gaze. His lips formed into a hard line and you knew he understood what was wrong. 

“That’s uh.. That’s the guy that dumped me yesterday.” You laughed dryly, quickly adverting your eyes so there was no chance at making eye contact with him. You didn’t want him to catch you staring, especially not when he was with another girl. 

“Oh man. This is awkward,” Kei said before taking a drink. You glared at him.

“Wow, thank you genius for your amazing deduction.” 

Kuroo frowned. “That’s who he left you for? Talk about a downgrade.” 

While it was supposed to be a compliment, his words cut through you like a knife. They forced you to consider something you hadn’t before.

_Has that girl been in the picture before he broke up with me?_

You snuck another glance at them, watching them interact as if they were long time lovers. 

_They’re definitely too close to have just met._ The hurt you had been feeling was suddenly replaced with anger. _He’s going to tell_ **_me_ ** _to end a friendship with a guy because he felt uncomfortable with it, but then turn around and do this?_

You felt a hand on your arm, bringing you out of your thoughts. “If you grip your cup any harder, you’re going to crush it and get alcohol all over yourself,” Kei stated. You looked at the hand that was holding your drink, and he was right. It was starting to crumple, pushing the alcohol up dangerously close to the tip. 

“You okay?” Kuroo asked again, looking at you cautiously. Still filled with anger, you chugged the rest of your drink for the second time that night and threw the cup on the ground. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. BO!” You shouted, getting the attention of the wing spiker who had been in the middle of an animated conversation with Akaashi. “Wanna show me how well you can dance?” 

Bokuto stared at you for a moment, as if to process your words, before he came bounding over with a grin on his face. “Heelllll yeah! I never thought you’d ask!” 

You didn’t even time to say bye to the other two before he whisked you away towards a part of the house where people were dancing. 

“Hey, that’s rude, what about me?” You heard Kuroo yell after you. All you could manage was an apologetic smile over your shoulder as you struggled to not trip over your own feet. 

Slowly but surely, the anger that had been burning through you dulled down to a small flame as you danced along to the music. Whether it was because of Bokuto’s infectious laugh and interesting dance moves or the alcohol that was continuing to course through your body and fuzz your brain, you weren’t sure. But at that point, you didn’t really care. By the time Kuroo joined the two of you you barely felt anything at all. 

You were also thankful that while Bokuto and Kuroo danced around you, and occasionally grabbed on to one of your arms to wave it around, they didn’t pull any creepy moves or anything like that. They stuck to dancing _around_ you and not _on_ you. The same could not be said for some of the other guys at the party. Without Kei’s terrifying bitch face around to scare them away, more than a few guys attempted to grab your hips as you danced. Kuroo and Bokuto tried to step in once or twice, but with the liquid courage you had acquired, you weren’t taking shit from any creepy guys. You had tried politely declining at first but after the third guy made an attempt you simply glared and told him to fuck off. That was your tactic from then on. 

Some of the boys had been cute, no doubt about it. But even though you had hoped to maybe have some fun at this party to rebound, you came to realize that there was only one person you _really_ wanted to dance with. And he was currently sitting on a nearby couch, chatting casually with Akaashi. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes from wandering to where he sat, but it was a battle that you lost the more the alcohol set in. And everytime his eyes would wander to where you were, you’d look away quickly and pretend you weren’t obviously staring. 

“You know,” Kuroo started, catching you in the middle of staring at the blond on the couch, “you could just go over there and talk to him.” 

“A-ah, what?” Your eyes widened in surprise as you turned to face him. 

“It’s a good thing we’re not playing a drinking game where you had to take a shot everytime you looked over at Tsukki. Cause man, you’d be absolutely wrecked right now.” 

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said as you crossed your arms and stuck your nose up in the air. 

Kuroo leaned in close so you could hear him without him having to raise his voice so much. “Can I tell you a secret? You wanna know why you’re here right now?” 

“Uh.. Cause you invited me?”

He laughed, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Yeah, but I see Tsukki all the time and I know he hates parties. It’s true that Bokuto and Akaashi wanted to see him, but we easily could have just hung out tomorrow in a setting that is much more his taste.” 

You weren’t really understanding him, and it wasn’t because you were drunk. “Um, okay. So then why did you invite us?” 

“I got a text earlier today. From Tsukki. He told me that your boyfriend had dumped you, and he knew you were going to be upset about it. He wanted advice on how he could cheer you up because he was worried he wouldn’t be able to do it himself. Said something about being bad with things like that. So I suggested the party and he thought it might work.” His grip on your shoulder tightened. “I’m pissed that that fucker is here because now it’s not working as well as we hoped. But do you understand what I’m saying?” 

He pulled back to look at you. “He’s here right now because he wants to cheer you up. Even if that means watching you get drunk and dance with other guys from afar.” 

You couldn’t believe it. 

_He’s here for me? But he put up such a fight earlier? And why did he think he wouldn’t be able to cheer me up on his own?_

That last thought is what really struck you. He was worried that he wouldn’t do a good enough job, so he sucked up his neverending pride and asked for advice. 

_I would have been equally as happy if we had just stuck to our original plan of studying and watching movies. Why did he doubt himself?_

“Oh.” Was all you managed to say. Kuroo gave you an expectant look, but when you continued to stare at him blankly he groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“Jesus Christ, you two are impossible.” And before you could process what was happening, he put an arm around your waist and started steering you towards the couch where Akaashi and Kei were. As you approached, they stopped their conversation and looked up at the two of you. 

“This drunk clutz rolled her ankle and needs to sit,” Kuroo said, patting your waist with the hand he was holding it with. You looked up at him, very confused.

“Uh, what? I’m-”

“In so much pain, I know!” He interrupted. You saw Akaashi start to get up, but with one look from Kuroo he settled back down, clearly understanding what was happening. 

“Is this seat taken?” Kuroo asked, pointing to Kei’s lap. Kei’s eyes widened and he started to say something, but before he could he was cut off. “No? Perfect!” 

And with that, Kuroo pushed you forward and forcefully sat you down in the blond’s lap. Grinning mischeviously, he turned around and headed back to where Bokuto was still dancing, completely oblivious that he had been left alone. 

You were thankful for the fact that the dancing and alcohol had already made your face red, because you were absolutely burning with embarrassment and nervousness right now. Kei was completely tense against you, and you could feel his heart beating rapidly against your back. 

“S-sorry, I can move,” you mumbled shyly, shifting to stand up. A hand grabbed your waist gently, stopping you before you could. 

“It’s fine. If you get up now you’ll probably just fall again and break an ankle this time.” His voice was so close to your ear and you could feel his chest rumble as he talked. The sensation was a little too much for drunk you, and you had to briefly close your eyes to regain composure.

While you were no stranger to hugging or leaning on Kei, sitting his LAP? That was a completely different story, and you were absolutely taken aback that he was allowing it to happen. In a public space, no less. What in the world was going on? 

“U-uh yeah, probably,” you laughed awkwardly. 

Kei eventually relaxed his body and resumed his conversation with Akaashi. They were once again talking about volleyball strategies and reminiscing on their time at camps together.

_For someone who complains about volleyball so much, he sure does talk about it a lot. Ugh, why did Kuroo do this to me??_

Still, you couldn’t say that you weren’t absolutely in Heaven right now. As much as you wanted to be mad at Kuroo for his actions, you were thankful that he made it happen. Because if not for him, there was definitely no way this would have ever happened.

However, despite how hard you tried to relax, the feeling of Kei’s body pressed up against your back, the rumble in his chest as he talked, and the feint feeling of his hands on your waist made it absolutely impossible. You found yourself spacing out as you glanced around the party.

_I still can’t believe Kei didn’t think he’d be able to cheer me up on his own. That he was actually worried about that! I mean, he’s cheered me up plenty of times and he knows that. So what makes this different? I mean, I guess my relationship with Yushin was the longest one I’ve managed to stay in, so maybe he thought it’d be extra hard on me? And I mean, he technically wouldn’t be wrong but how little does he think of himself and our friendship to worry that he isn’t enough for me? I hope I’ve never done anything to-_

“You know, if you’re going to sit on my lap I’m really going to need you to stop shaking your leg like that.” His voice was low in your ear, warm breath tickling your skin. It caught you off guard and you couldn’t stop the little gasp that escaped your lips. “I am a guy, after all. And there are only so many gross things I can think about before it isn’t enough.” 

It took a second for your drunken mind to process what he was implying, but once you got it you immediately shot up off his lap. Kei just look up at you with an eyebrow raised lazily and the faintest hink of a smirk on his lips. 

“I uh.. I’m gonna go get another drink. You guys want anything?” But you didn’t even wait for their replies before you dashed off towards the drink table, absolutely mortified.

_He couldn’t have meant that.. But also I don’t know what else he could have meant? How long had I been shaking my leg? I didn’t even know I was doing that! I guess I was doing it subconsciously because I was so nervous. And because of that, I made it even worse!! Aughhh I hate myself. There’s no way I can sit on his lap ever again. If he ever actually got hard while I was sitting on his lap I would literally die from embarrassment._

_Well.. I’d also be kind of proud of myself, not gonna lie. Hehe._

_Wait, does that mean he’s attracted to me? Nah, it was probably just the movement that was causing the issue. Well, maybe I’ll just tell myself that it was my face anyways. I could use a moral booster right now._

You were still wrapped up in your thoughts as you poured three drinks for yourself and the guys when you heard a voice calling your name. Looking over, you internally groaned as you saw who was walking over to you. The anger you had forgotten about came rushing back. 

“Hey, I didn’t think I’d see you here.” Yushin said as he stopped next to you. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

“Hey, no need to be sorry! It’s a free world, you’re allowed to go wherever.” There was something about the grin on his face that just really pissed you off. And it didn’t help that when you were drunk, you really didn’t have a filter. 

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. The smile fell from his lips at your tone. 

“Just to say hi and make sure there aren’t any hard feelings between us, that’s all.” 

You scoffed. “You asked me to end my closest friendship but then the very next day you’re out with a girl on your hip, looking way too cozy to just have met. Clearly my friendship with Kei wasn’t the only thing straining our relationship.”

Yushin sighed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah.. I guess not. I’m sorry, I should have done more to distance myself but when she kissed me I-” 

“Wait a second,” you held up a hand, narrowing your eyes. “You kissed her? Was this while we were dating?” 

“Oh come on, I’m sure you’ve kissed Kei before too.” 

You shook your head angrily. “Uh, no pal. Let me stop you right there. Sure, I’m close with him but I understand what _cheating_ is and how to _not_ do it!” 

Yushin rolled his eyes. “Oh c’mon, it was a kiss. I’d hardly count that as cheating. Plus, I see you’ve also wasted no time running to the arms, or should I say lap, of the very person you told me wasn’t a problem.” 

“There was no where else to sit and I hurt my ankle!” You tried to say it as convincingly as possible because that part was a lie. But he didn’t need to know that. 

“You seem to be walking on it just fine now. I’m sure the second I left you in the cafe yesterday you hooked up with him to make yourself feel better.” His accusation was laced with venom.

You couldn’t believe that the person in front of you was the same person you had dated. He was like a completely different Yushin and you were _not_ here for it. Is that really what he thought about you? 

“You know, I was upset and questioning whether or not I was stupid for letting you go, but man am I glad you dumped me now. And for the record, us?” You pointed at yourself then at him, “Yeah there are lots of hard feelings between us.” Grabbing the drinks in your hands, turned around and marched angrily back to the couch, leaving him to stand there with his mouth hanging open. 

Your plan had been to stand or find a different place to sit when you returned, but you were so angry that after giving the boys their drinks you sat back down on Kei’s lap, but this time you made yourself a lot more cozy. 

“Uh, you good? You look like you’re ready to kill someone,” Akaashi stated, taking in the scowl on your face. You ignored him as you grabbed Kei’s free arm and pulled it around your waist, interlacing your fingers with his. If Yushin wanted to think you and Kei were together, then there was no point in letting him down. 

“Yushin cheated on me. Accused me of hooking up with you. May as well give him what he wants to see. Just play along,” you told Kei, who looked very surprised at your sudden boldness. You expected him to argue back, but maybe it was because he saw the anger in your eyes or maybe because he felt sorry for you, because he didn’t. To your surprise, he simply nodded his head and brought his other arm down from the arm of the couch and placed it on your thigh, balancing his drink on your knee. 

“I take it you ran into your ex?” Akaashi asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. He wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings between us and then proceeded to tell me that he kissed that girl he’s with while we were dating.” Your voice cracked and that only added to the intense frustration you were feeling. Your hand clenched into a fist as you focused on holding back the tears that were forming. 

“Which is really funny coming from him because the whole reason he broke up with me was-” You managed to stop yourself before you finished that. Kei still didn’t know and you really didn’t want him to find out. Especially not right now. “Nevermind.” 

Akaashi just nodded, but you could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t going to push any further. You almost jumped as you felt Kei’s hand tighten around your waist as he gave you what you assumed was a comforting squeeze. That action alone made your heart soar, and just knowing that he cared was enough to stop your trembling lip. 

Once you assured the boys that you were okay and they saw you start to relax, they once again returned to their conversation. And like before, you just stared around the party while your mind was anywhere but. 

Whie looking through the crowd you managed to lock eyes with Kuroo who was still holding out on the dance floor with Bokuto. Neither of them looked like they had lost even the slightest bit of energy and you laughed at all of the girls who had gathered around the two, clearly hoping to stick out to them. Kuroo grinned at you and gave you a thumbs up, making you bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing. 

You watched as Kuroo turned to Bokuto and said something that caused him to turn his head to look at you. He pouted and pointed to himself but immediately stopped when Kuroo elbowed him in the ribs. Bokuto then grinned and turned around, wrapping his arms around himself. He then started to move in a way that made it look like he was making out with someone. At this, Kuroo threw his head back and laughed wildly. You looked away, your cheeks burning furiously. 

_I’m going to kill them both! I swear! I’m gonna do it! Maybe Akaashi will help me. Ooh, actually I’m positive he’d help me. I’m sure he’s tired of Bokuto’s shit. I know I’d be if I had to deal with him 24/7. I really have no idea how he does it and manages to stay so calm. I definitely would have snapped by now. So anyways, we could always take their bodies-_

Suddenly you felt Kei’s warm cheek pressed up against yours as he rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped both arms around you tightly, pulling him tighter against you. “What are you grinning about?” 

You struggled to find your voice as your heart threatened to leap out of your throat, both surprised and nervous at the sudden closeness.

 _Forget killing Kuroo and Bokuto. Kei is going to kill_ **_me_ ** _before I can do any of that._

Your eyes immediately flicked to where Akaashi was sitting, but to your surprise he wasn’t there. 

“Your pal is staring us down.” His voice so low and so close to your ear made you want to squirm but you somehow managed to hold still. Without looking as obvious as you had earlier, you glanced around and sure enough you saw Yushin leaning on the wall across the room, glaring at the two of you. 

“Oh, I guess he is- hey! W-what are you doing?” 

The tip of Kei’s nose dragged slowly across your jaw. “You said you wanted to give him a show.” Your breath hitched as the feeling of his nose was replaced with soft, warm lips. With each gentle kiss he placed along your jaw, your stomach flipped.

_What the absolute hell? Is he drunk? He has to be. There’s no way in hell that he’s doing this sober. He has to be blacked out or something. Holy shit._

“K-Kei, you really don’t have to-” 

His lips were against your neck now, and as he talked they brushed against your skin ever so softy. “I know. But he cheated on you. He deserves it. Plus it’s just so fun to see him so angry because of me.”

_I never would have pegged Kei as someone who enjoyed making others jealous, but hey.. If it means he keeps doing this I certainly will not complain.. Though I do kinda feel bad for Yushin._

And then Kei’s lips pressed firmly against your neck in a kiss, and any thoughts of anything other than that feeling completely left your brain. You couldn’t even stop yourself from squirming slightly as he left a trail of kisses, and your body moved completely on it’s own as you leaned your head back to give him better access. 

_Is that- is that tongue? Jesus Christ where did he learn to do this?_ **_Why_ ** _is he being so dramatic? I can’t handle this. I guess I can kiss ever getting rid of my crush on him goodbye because as long as I have this memory in my brain, it isn’t going away anytime soon._

“Hey Kei?”

He hummed against your neck, causing you to bite your lip. 

“Um.. I mean I don’t hate this but y-you really don’t have to do it.” 

He hummed again before giving your neck one last kiss and resting his chin on your shoulder. You couldn’t deny the crushing disappointment you felt at the absence of his lips, but you knew it had to happen. You couldn’t allow yourself to get carried away. He was only doing this to help you make your jerk of an ex jealous. That was it. 

“I think your plan succeeded at pissing him off. If looks could kill, we’d be dead. And as much as I’d love to keep going, I think it’s time to stop because of,” he cleared his throat, “reasons.”

Again, it took you a minute to process what he said but when you understood you buried your hand in your hands to hide your embarrassment. 

“I’m getting hungry, and now is the perfect time to really seal the deal with our performance. If he sees us leaving together, and alone, his imagination will run wild.”

You peeked up at Kei from between your fingers. “I am really impressed at your level of commitment to this. Snacks are on me tonight.” 

Kei chuckled as the two of you stood up. “Yeah, that was the plan. You’ll be paying me back for this for the rest of your life. Keep that in mind.” 

Because nothing about this night made sense and Kei kept piling on to an ever-growing list of ways he could surprise you, as you walked towards the door you felt his hand slide from the small of your back down to your butt. Where it stayed put. 

You glanced up at Kei from the corners of your eye and were at least a little relieved to see that his cheeks were flushed as well. But whether it was from the alcohol he had consumed or what he was doing, you would never know. 

_This fucker is definitely enjoying making me flustered. I’m sure he’s doing this for his amusement too. And I know for a fact he’ll never let me live this night down._

But you were surprised to find that you didn’t really care in the slightest. 

Kei made a point to take a path the the door that involved walking right past Yushin. He didn’t even try to conceal the conceited smirk on his lips as the two of you walked past your ex, who was also not trying to hide the fact that he was glaring. After you were past Yushin, Kei glanced over his shoulder at the same time as he gave your butt a small pat. Your eyes widened and you waited until you were out of Yushin’s sight before glaring at Kei. 

“That’s it. I’m cutting that hand off. I hope it’s not your favorite one.” 

Kei just laughed as the two of you stepped into the cool night air. You more than welcomed the breeze on your extremely flushed face and hoped that it would help cool you down and steady your heart, which had not beat at a normal pace since the moment you felt Kei’s nose on your jaw. 

"Oh wait," you stopped walking as you realized something. "We never told the others we were leaving." 

"I'll send them a text. I'm sure they'll understand." 

As the two of you walked through the dark streets, Kei did eventually move his hand off your butt. At first, you were a little disappointed, but when he only moved it slightly up to grip your waist, you felt even happier.

And you couldn’t help but notice that when you caught glimpses of Kei’s face in the reflection of the moonlight, he had a soft smile on his face that didn’t leave once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Tsukki got a little OOC there at the end. I got carried away and that was purely self indulgent. But you also can't tell me that he wouldn't thrive off of making other guys jealous?? Anywho, the next chapter is supposed to be the last but we'll see if I get carried away again lol. Let me know how it is!!!! I love feedback!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excessive alcohol around your crush? Never a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I lied. This isn't the last chapter. Whoopsies. 
> 
> This is a shorter chapter (lol still over 5k pls stop me) but it just fits into the story better if I split this chapter and the last chapter up. Enjoy!

Chapter Four

* * *

Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t have had that third cup of alcohol. 

While you had been doing pretty well earlier, except maybe just being a little more emotional and blunt than normal, you were _really_ starting to feel it. You don’t know when it really hit you, but man did it HIT you. 

By the time you and Kei arrived at the small convenience store where you had promised to buy snacks, you were a stumbling, giggling mess. 

“Kei did you see his FACE? He was so mad, oh my GOD.” 

“Yes, I saw.” 

“I mean I really thought he was going to kill us!” 

“Mhm.” 

“But he deserved it! He’s such a fucking dick. He tries to make me feel like I was the problem in our relationship, but then tells me he kissed another girl????” 

“Scandalous.” 

“AND THEN he tries to accuse me of hooking up with you? I mean, not that I-” 

“Drink this.” 

You blinked, forcing your vision to really focus. Kei was standing in front of you holding out a bottle of water. In his other hand was a bag that was presumably filled with snacks. 

Your eyes widened. “Whoa, when did you get all that?” 

Kei sighed as he thrust the bottle into your hand. “If you don’t drink this I’m going to ditch you. You’re slowing me down enough already.” 

“Hmph. You won’t.” You crossed your arms, sticking your nose up at the water bottle. 

“Okay then.” And with that, he turned and started walking away. You stood there frozen, waiting for him to turn around, glare at you, and tell you to hurry up. But he didn’t. 

“Kei!” 

No response. He kept walking, his long strides taking him further and further away from where you were standing. 

“Okay!” You called after him, willing your feet to move in a run. Once you caught up to him you grabbed his arm and tried to yank him to a stop. “Okay fine, I’ll drink the stupid water. Please don’t leave me.” 

You couldn’t deny that the water was very refreshing, and once you started to drink it you found you couldn’t stop. It wasn’t until Kei’s hand wrapped around the bottle and pulled it out of your grip and away from your lips that you were able to stop and catch your breath. 

“You’re going to make yourself sick. And if that happens, I will absolutely not be cleaning you up.” 

You sighed, dropping your head on his shoulder. “Such a ladies man, you are. You really know how to treat a woman.” 

“I wasn’t aware you were a woman.” 

You raised your head and glared at him. “If I’m not a woman then what am I?” 

“A nuisance.” And with that he started walking again. You pouted as you trailed after him, muttering under your breath.

“Cranky-shima.” 

You couldn’t deny that you were a little upset because it seemed like somewhere between leaving the party and arriving at the convenience store, Kei’s warmth towards you had faded. He had let go of your waist at one point to tie his shoe and then never returned it afterwards. Despite the warmth of the alcohol in your system, the chill of the cool night air seemed to bite harder. 

An embarrassingly loud growl from your stomach broke the silence and you couldn’t even stifle the laughter that spilled out of your mouth. “I guess I’m hungry. Can I have one of those snacks?”

“No.” 

“What!” You exclaimed, smacking his arm. “But I bought them!” 

“Yeah, to repay me. Plus, I think that if you tried to walk and eat right now you’d trip over your own feet. You can barely accomplish that sober, I can’t imagine you’d be any better as drunk as you are now.”

You shrugged simply. “Fine, I’ll just steal something when we get back to your dorm.” 

Kei turned his head, finally looking at you. His eyebrows were raised. “Who said you were coming back to my dorm?” 

“Me. Just now.” You gave him a big smile, batting your lashes and hoping it was enough to convince him. 

“No.” 

‘Oh come on, please? Your dorm is soooooo much closer. Plus my roommate is home tonight and I don’t wanna bother her!!!” 

“I don’t want to bother my roommate either.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Kei, you live alone.” 

A small grin tugged on his lips. “Exactly.” 

After staring at him for a moment, you fixed your gaze forward and walked ahead. Well, more like wobbled ahead. “I miss the Kei from the party. You’re back to being mean now.” 

You heard him sigh. “You’re sleeping on the floor. I’m not giving up my bed.” 

You turned back to him, eyes wide and mouth open in a large grin. “Wooo!!! Sleepover!!! Lets eat lots of snacks and tell each other our deepest darkest secrets!!!” 

“I regret this already,” he muttered. But even in your drunken state you didn’t miss the blush rising on his cheeks. 

What was that about? 

Kei ended up having to help you get up the stairs of his building (“Jesus Christ, you’re worse than a toddler right now”) but the two of you eventually made it back into his dorm room. You let out a huge sigh of relief as you practically ripped off the shoes that had started to dig very uncomfortably into your feet. And Kei had barely put the bag of snacks down before you were all over it, digging through the contents to find something to satisfy you. 

You paused as you rifled through then looked up at Kei with a grin. “You say you don’t care about me but you do!” 

Kei, who was in the middle of pulling out his sleeping clothes, looked up at you. “What in the world makes you say that?” 

“Because,” you held up the snack in your hand. “Half of the stuff you bought are things I love but I _know_ you don’t like.” 

Kei scoffed and returned to his task. “Tch. If that’s what you need to tell yourself.” 

You responded, but due to the fact that your mouth was currently full of delicious food, it just came out as a jumbled mess. 

“Will you please swallow your food before talking like a civilized human being?”

You rolled your eyes and swallowed your food, making sure to be as dramatic about it as possible and popping your lips together loudly once your mouth was empty. “I _said_ , the last time I ate this snack and offered you some you told me you would rather lick a volleyball court after an entire day of games.” 

Kei’s face was blank. “I don’t recall. Now turn around so I can change.” 

Turning around seemed like a lot of work, so you just squeezed your eyes shut tightly and covered them with your hands. There was a long pause, and then you could hear the rustling of his clothes. 

An image from earlier that day, when Kei was fresh out of the shower and standing shirtless in the middle of the room, popped into your head. You remembered how, despite looking like a twig on the outside, his torso was _very_ well toned. You remembered the faint outline of abs, how the muscles in his arms had stood out nicely as he moved his arms, how dangerously low his sweatpants had sat on his hips, how - 

_Oh god, I need to stop_. 

You squeezed your already closed eyes even tighter, hoping you could force the image out of your head. But as that image left, it was replaced with the image of you sitting on his lap, his arms around you tightly pulling you against him. The sound of his voice low in your ear, the warmth of his breath on your skin, his nose on your jaw, his lips brushing against you, the kisses on your neck, his tongue- 

“Are you trying to put your one brain cell to work? You look constipated.” 

Flinching as his voice brought you out of your dirty thoughts ( _Get it together, you’re just drunk and horny!!)_ you dropped your hands from your face and opened your eyes. To your embarrassment, you were breathing pretty heavily and you didn’t need a mirror to know your face was flushed. Those thoughts had definitely had an effect on you. 

“I was just mimicking what you look like when you’re trying to be nice,” you retorted, desperately hoping he didn’t notice anything different about your appearance. You forced yourself up and onto your feet. “Let’s watch something! Just until we get sleepy enough to go to bed.” 

“Are you even sober enough to focus on a movie?” 

“Guess we’ll find out,” you grinned, walking over to his bed and throwing yourself on to it. Truth be told, you could easily fall asleep right then if you wanted to. But you didn’t want to because you could never pass up a movie opportunity with Kei. 

After pulling up a movie on his laptop and setting it on the bedside table, he shoved you aside to make space for him to sit with his back against the wall. “If you fall asleep in my bed I’m going to literally kick you off.” 

You scooted over to him and rested your head on his thigh. “I know. I pinky promise I’ll stay awake.” You help up your hand, sticking your pinky out. When Kei did nothing but glare at it, you shoved it further into his face, waving it around frantically. You closed your eyes and grinned in triumph when you felt his pinky wrap around yours. When he moved to pull his pinky away, you tightened your grip and pulled his hand down to your head and rubbed it back in forth in your hair. You figured he was smart enough to understand what you wanted. 

“Are you a fucking cat?” He asked, trying to sound annoyed. But his eyes gave him away and you could tell he was just putting up a front. 

“Meow.” 

“Really?” 

“Meow.” 

“Then I guess I should have just left you outside where you belong then. I don’t like cats.” 

“Meow!” But that time you made it sound angry. If a meow coming out of a human’s mouth could sound angry. 

He rolled his eyes and fixed his gaze on the laptop. But his hand relaxed in your hair and you almost did actually purr as he gently ran his fingers along your scalp. Humming contently, you snuggled against his leg just a bit more to get extra comfortable and then turned your gaze to the movie. 

_Jurassic Park. Surprise, surprise._

If you had a dollar for how many times you’ve seen this movie, you would have been rich enough to build the damn park yourself. It was Kei’s favorite movie and always his go-to when you guys didn’t know what else to watch or just wanted something playing in the background. You were certain that Kei knew every line of this stupid movie by heart and could probably act it out himself if he wanted. 

But instead of being annoyed whenever he put on Jurassic Park, like any sane person would be after watching the movie over ten times, you actually loved it. It was honestly your favorite movie. You’d never tell Kei that though, because then he’d never watch anything else. The reason it was your favorite movie wasn’t because of the movie itself. Actually, if you were being honest, you didn’t care for the movie at all. 

No, the reason it was your favorite was because of Kei. Because when he watched this movie, whether he knew it or not (and you assumed he didn’t know it because if he did then he would _never_ watch it again), he turned into an absolute softie. No matter how many times he watched it, he never seemed to be able to get rid of that childlike wonder. His face wouldn’t absolutely light up, no he was not _that_ soft. But his face would morph into something.. much more gentle. He wouldn’t have that normal scowl or sarcastic smirk on his face, his eyes wouldn’t hold that look of indifference, and he had an adorable habit of chewing on his lip anxiously during the action packed scenes.

The reason you loved watching Jurassic Park so much was because you could watch Kei. 

You were pretty good at it too. You knew which parts he didn’t necessarily like the most, and that’s when his eyes would wander around. During those parts, you didn’t dare look at him in case he caught you staring. But you also knew which parts of the movie he would never look away from, no matter what was happening around him. And in those moments, you were able to watch him and adore the side of him that you rarely got to see. You loved those moments. 

But with your mind clouded from the alcohol, you weren’t doing a very good job of pretending to care about the movie. You were actually doing a _terrible_ job. So much so, that after about ten minutes of being subjected to your gaze, he clicked his tongue and glared at you. 

“Why are you staring at me?” 

You immediately ripped your eyes away from his face and felt the embarrassment flood through your body. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lied. 

“Your head isn’t even in the direction of the laptop, idiot. There’s no way you can see the screen like that.” 

You bit your lip, blushing deeper. 

_Shit. I’ve been caught. After four years of mastering this craft, it’s all over._

Kei just muttered “whatever” under his breath and returned to the movie. Since he didn’t wait for you to reposition yourself so you could see the screen, you took that as a green light to continue your staring. 

_I mean, I can see the reflection of the movie in his classes so that’s technically watching the movie, right?_

But your eyes kept finding themselves fixated on the same part of Kei’s face, no matter how hard you tried to look away. His lips. 

Those lips that had been so close to your ear, up against your skin, trailing down your neck as he left kisses.. Fuck, you really loved those lips. He really knew how to use them, and for some reason, that bothered you. 

“Can I ask a question?” you blurted without thinking. 

_Oh fuck, I didn’t actually want to ask him!!_

But your brain wasn’t in the best state of mind right now, and your emotions were winning over your rationality. While you knew you _shouldn’t_ , the alcohol told you that you should. 

Kei didn’t even look at you as he responded. “That’s a rhetorical question because we both know you’re going to ask anyways.” 

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” 

That got his attention. He looked down, clearly confused. “What?” 

“Have you ever had a girlfriend? I mean I know I’ve known you all of high school but maybe you’ve had a secret lover that I didn’t know about or something and-” 

“No. I haven’t. Why are you asking this?” 

Well, you were in too deep now! “Because you really seemed like you knew what you were doing back at the party.” 

Kei’s cheeks darkened and he looked away. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

You narrowed your eyes and pushed yourself up into a sitting position. “Oh shut up. You know exactly what I mean, and you knew exactly what you were doing too.” 

He didn’t respond and he didn’t meet your gaze. Every rational part of your brain was telling you to just shut up and stop there, but you were slowly starting to feel overwhelmed with so many different emotions and it was getting hard to handle. 

“Why’d you do it?” 

“What?” He looked at you again, but still didn’t quite meet your eyes. 

“I mean I know I asked you to play along to piss off Yushin, but when I said that I meant just like.. Hug me or some shit. Not turn my neck into your next meal!” 

“It was fun,” he said, his voice sounding carefully devoid of any emotion. 

“Fun? Kissing my neck was fun?” You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing on your lips. 

“Making him jealous! Jesus. Not everything is about you.” 

His face was calm and his eyes were fixed on the floor, but there was something about the way he was acting that seemed off to you. Was.. was he flustered? 

“Well I thought it was fun. Both parts. Making him jealous, and having you kiss me.” The second it came out, you wanted to shove it back in. It was then that you decided you were never touching alcohol again.

 _Why the_ **_fuck_ ** _did that come out._

Kei stiffened, but he didn’t let his face change in the slightest. “Well, it’s never happening again so don’t get your hopes up.” He glanced at your face quickly before focusing his attention back on the movie. But drunk you decided that you were not done. “I really don’t understand how you’ve never had a girlfriend before. I mean, plenty of girls have confessed to you. Plenty of gorgeous girls.” 

Kei scoffed. “None of those girls actually knew me. They just created an idea of me in their heads and went with that. I’m fully aware that I’m a dick and I’m perfectly fine with that. Just because they think I’m attractive doesn’t mean I’m a good person.”

“So then how come I’m still around? I don’t have a fake idea of who you are. I know you are.” 

“Because you’re an idiot and no matter how hard I tried to get rid of you, you still wanted to be my friend. I’m sure eventually you’ll get pissed off enough to finally leave me alone.” He said it with a casual tone and a small shrug. Like it was the most obvious answer in the world. 

You weren’t sure what it was about those words, or maybe just the conversation in general, but you suddenly felt very overwhelmed with frustration and sadness. 

You knew who Kei was. You knew he was a jerk. You knew he was blunt and never took care to save other people’s feelings. You knew that when provoked, he would go for your throat with his words and try to hit you where it hurt most. You knew all that.

But you also knew that underneath that, he was a caring, good person. He just, for whatever reason, didn’t want anyone else to see that. And you figured that Akiteru was right when he had told you that being betrayed by the one person he trusted most had probably messed Kei up more than he would ever admit. And that was why he never allowed himself to show feelings and put on this cold mask. 

And you had stuck by his side, despite everything (including him telling you several times in the first few months that he didn’t like you and didn’t want to be your friend). And not only that, but you had _loved_ him for a good portion of that time as well. You knew who he was, and you loved him. 

But he didn’t think about you like that and it hurt. It hurt a lot. 

Instead, he just figured you’d eventually get tired and fuck off. And the fact that he thought so little about you really hurt. 

So much so, that you couldn’t help the shakiness in your voice when you spoke next. 

“Do you know why Yushin broke up with me?” 

“You said that it wasn’t working. And that he cheated on you.” His focus was still on the laptop. 

_Please look at me._

“I didn’t find out that he cheated on me until after.” 

“Oh.” 

_Please look at me!_

“Yeah. And I guess saying that it wasn’t working isn’t technically a lie but there was more to it.”

He just hummed, keeping his gaze intently on the movie. 

_Will you just fucking look at me?!_

“It was because of you.” 

And there it was. The one thing you told yourself you’d never tell him. The one thing you didn’t want him to know. 

It wasn’t like you were confessing to him or anything, but you were sure he was smart enough to figure it out eventually. 

However, you did get your wish. Kei’s head whipped around to look at you, his eyes wide. “What?” 

You chewed on your bottom lip, suddenly wishing he wasn’t staring at you the way that he was. You felt ashamed. You didn’t want to admit it to him. 

“He um..” You were fiddling with your hands, really trying to keep your voice steady. It was hard though, and you could feel the burning behind your eyes are tears began to form. “He wasn’t comfortable with our friendship. He asked me to stop being friends with you.” 

You looked up at him, wanting to see his expression. Now he knew the truth. (Well, kinda. You would not be confessing your love tonight. Or ever.) 

Kei didn’t say anything though, and simply continued to stare at you with his lips pressed into a hard line. 

“I -” Damn it, your voice finally cracked and the first tear rolled down your cheek. “I told him I wouldn’t do that. That I _couldn’t_ do that.” 

“You really are an idiot,” Kei finally said. You clenched your fists angrily as more tears spilled. There was no point in trying to stop them anymore. Your emotions surrounding this situation had been high to start with and with the alcohol in your system, they were finally exploding. 

“What? Do you really think so little of me that you think I would ditch you that easily?” 

“I mean, he was your boyfr-”

“And you’re my _best friend._ And you have been for _years_ ,” you threw your hands up, laughing dryly through the tears. “I knew him for what, five months? And you think I would just throw you away like that? Trade four years of friendship for a relationship that’d probably run its’ course a few months later?” 

“You don’t know that though,” he was quiet now, eyes looking down into his lap where he was fidgeting with his hands. Something you knew he only did when he was really bothered or put off by something. 

You wanted to scream. You wanted to punch something. You wanted to punch Kei! You were so frustrated by everything, that Kei was so unwilling to accept that he was important to you, and the fact that you couldn’t even contain your stupid emotions made you even more angry.

“Kei the moment he asked me to stop being friends with you it was over.” It came out more as a sob than anything else. “If he hadn’t dumped me then I would have done it myself.” 

Kei’s eyes met yours again, and while you desperately tried to search them for any hint of how he was feeling, you couldn’t read them. You wanted to say more, but you were afraid that if you said anything else, you would _really_ reach the point of no return by telling him your actual feelings. 

Even your alcohol riddled brain knew that was a no-no. 

You took a shaky breath, calming your breathing and getting yourself back under control. “You’re my best friend,” you said quietly. “You mean that much to me. So please don’t ever think that I would leave you. No matter how much you piss me off.” 

You reached out tentatively, grabbing his arm softly and pulling him towards you for a hug. He didn’t resist and allowed you to wrap your arms around him and rest your head on his shoulder. His chest was rising and falling rapidly against yours, which let you know that he was at least feeling _something_ about all of this. 

“Are you a jerk? Absolutely. Do you say mean things? All the time. Do you piss me off? You have no idea.” You pulled back, ignoring the way your stomach backflipped due to the proximity of your faces, and placed your hands on his shoulders while you examined him. “But you care in your own special, cranky way. You make me feel better when I’m sad, you keep me on my toes, and you never let me get away with stupid shit.” 

There was a long silence, and you were starting to worry that you made Kei feel uncomfortable with your proclaimed affection. But eventually he broke the silence.

“I still think you’re an idiot.” But he was smiling. It was very, very small. But it was there. 

“Yeah well. That’s why I need you. You’re smart enough for the both of us.” 

You knew that now was the time to pull away. You had said your piece, you got everything off your chest, and Kei seemed to understand that he was stuck with you. But Kei didn’t pull away so neither did you. Instead, the two of you stayed just like that, searching each others’ eyes for who knew what. 

Your eyes slowly drifted down to his lips, and you were once again reminded of why you loved them so much. They were just perfect.

They were perfect for telling jokes, they were perfect for snarky comebacks, they were perfect for calling you an idiot, they were perfect for cocky grins, they were perfect for soft smiles, they were perfect for the rare compliment, they were perfect for kissing.. They were perfect for making you feel loved. 

Maybe it was the exhaustion from feeling so many intense emotions at once, or maybe it was the alcohol. But at some point while you were admiring those perfect lips, your eyes had slowly closed and subconsciously began to lean in. You had no idea why he didn’t pull away or stop you.

You also didn’t know what was happening until your lips were on his. It was gentle at first, but it was as if a switch flipped the second your lips met. Something in your brain (the rational part, you knew) completely shut down and another part (the drunken, emotional part) took over. And before you could stop yourself, you were clutching at his shirt and pulling him to you, your lips moving desperately. It was not your proudest moment, as you were most likely not kissing him so much as you were slobbering all over him. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care, you just knew that you needed him. 

Maybe he was more drunk than he let on (he didn’t seem drunk at all) or maybe he felt bad (he was never one to care about hurting people’s feelings) but to your surprise, he returned the kiss with almost the same amount of intensity and desperation. He leaned into you, pushing his lips against yours as much as he could. You gasped against him as you felt his lips part, encouraging yours to do the same. When you did, he wasted no time pressing his tongue into your mouth. You couldn't stop yourself from letting out a small groan, the feeling of his tongue sliding against yours was too almost too much to handle. And you definitely whimpered as he bit and sucked on your bottom lip greedily. You wanted to be embarrassed but you just couldn't bring yourself to care.

His hands entangled themselves in your hair before pulling your head back so that he could move his lips from yours down to your jaw, then down to your neck. It was just like earlier, except this time there was no one to make jealous. Your hands moved completely on their own as they slid from his shoulders and down his chest before slipping under his shirt and slowly making their way back up again. The feeling of his warm skin underneath your fingertips drove you wild, and you were desperate for more contact. You shifted your body up, and one of Kei's hands dropped from your hair to your butt, where he grabbed it and pulled you forward so that you were straddling him. 

Still, that apparently wasn't enough for your body. Without thinking, you pushed your hips into his and immediately gasped from the immense pleasure you got from that added friction. And you weren't the only one enjoying it apparently.

"Oh fuck," Kei gasped against your neck, inhaling sharply. His voice sounded very strained and you felt a sense of pride knowing that he was at least enjoying this as much as you. Eager to hear him again, you pushed your hips into his once more. Another sharp inhale, another strained curse against your neck, but this time you also felt both of his hands press firmly against against your butt, pushing you against him. He took over from there, pressing you into him again and again. Closing your eyes, you dropped your head on to his shoulder as you let him move you against him. Kei's kisses were increasingly getting interrupted by low groans and sharp pants as he tried to keep his breathing steady, but the feeling of his warm breath against your neck was equally as pleasurable. 

If you had been in a normal state of mind, you would have been absolutely horrified with yourself and the fact that you had practically thrown yourself at Kei. There was no way he wouldn’t know now. Your cover was blown. 

But in your current state of mind, you were absolutely elated that after the years of longing for this exact situation, it was coming true. And it wasn’t completely one-sided because while you had kissed first, you were absolutely not expecting him to retaliate so eagerly. 

But deep down you knew it wasn’t him. You knew that it was either the alcohol he drank or him feeling sorry for you. 

And that thought kept bubbling inside you, moving up, up, up. 

“Kei,” you gasped, pulling away. “K-Kei, stop.” 

You mentally swore as Kei pulled back and you took in the sight of him. At some point he had taken off his glasses, making his half-lidded eyes stand out in the best way. His lips were red and swollen from being attacked by yours. His face was flushed and his chest was rising and falling rapidly to accommodate for his heavy breathing. There was a sort of crazed look on his face, as if he wasn’t completely aware of what had just happened. 

The sight of him like this... it did things to you that it had no right to do. 

“I- I’m so sorry, I don’t.. I feel..” The words you wanted to say weren’t coming out, and the guilt in your stomach continued to bubble, the pressure building and building until it was in your throat. 

_Oh fuck. This isn’t guilt this is-_

You put a hand over your mouth as you launched yourself off of the bed and ran towards the door. 

“I’m sorry I’m gonna-“ 

But you didn’t finish the sentence as you threw open the door to his dorm and ran as fast as you could down the hall. Sprinting into the bathroom, you barely made it to the toilet before everything in your stomach came spilling out. 

_Oh god this is awful oh god oh god_

After the first round had finished, you collapsed on to your knees in front of the toilet and rested your forehead on the bowl. It was disgusting you knew, but the coolness helped calm your burning forehead. You were shaking as tears ran down your cheeks, throat burning from what had just happened. 

You didn’t have much time to recover before your stomach lurched again and you began round two. 

_Of course it had to happen right after making out with Kei. 10 bucks says he makes some type of joke about how kissing him must have been bad enough to make me sick._

You groaned as you wiped your mouth, placing your forehead back on the toilet. Your head was spinning and you were gulping air to try and catch your breath. 

You didn’t hear the door open, or the footsteps behind you. You hardly felt the hands that smoothed your hair back out out of your face and collected it into a ponytail at the back of your head. All you registered was the coolness that brushed against your forehead and sent a shiver down your spine. 

After a moment, you opened your mouth to say something but instead of words, your body decided it was time for round three! 

_Jesus Christ how much do I have in me?_

You couldn’t even be embarrassed that you were currently on a dirty bathroom floor spewing your guts out in front of Kei. In fact, you were sure that somewhere underneath all that nausea was appreciation for the fact that he had followed you in there to hold your hair and rub soothing circles into your back. 

After a few minutes of dry heaving for the grand finale, and a few minutes of making sure there wouldn’t be an encore, you decided you were probably okay for now. Kei was still behind you, rubbing your back gently.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered. 

“Yeah, that was pretty disgusting.” 

You didn’t even have the energy to make a witty retort, you just rolled your head to the side and closed your eyes. While the nausea was gone, your head still felt like you were on a jerky rollercoaster ride. 

“C’mon.” You felt hands underneath your armpits and you let yourself get pulled up off the floor. Kei guided you to the sink where he held out a tube of toothpaste and a bottle of mouthwash. You stared at it for a moment before dragging your eyes up to stare at him. 

“I don’t have an extra toothbrush but I figured you could use your finger. It’s better than nothing.” 

After doing your best to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth, you splashed your face over and over again with cool water. Finally, you inspected your hair for any gross findings, and thanked the gods when you found that it was clean. 

Kei allowed you to hug his arm and lean on him as he walked you back into the dorm. You found yourself suddenly completely exhausted, as if you had thrown up all of your energy into the toilet as well. When you got back to his dorm, you were surprised to find that there was already a pillow and several blankets stretched out on the floor. You internally groaned at the thought of having to sleep in your jeans but otherwise wasted no time lowering yourself down onto the makeshift bed. 

“Here.” Something blue landed on your lap and you picked it up to find that it was a large shirt. You looked up at Kei, who was turning around to give you privacy. “It’s big on me so I’m assuming it’ll be okay for you.” 

You muttered a quick thanks before stripping off your uncomfortable clothes and putting on the shirt. Kei had been right. It was like a nightgown on you and you were pleased to see that it covered all of the essential areas well enough. You felt a little awkward about not having pants on around him, but at this point the only thing you wanted was sleep. 

“Kei, I’m really sor-“

“Get up.” He cut you off as he turned around. His voice wasn't harsh though, and it didn't sound like a rude demand. He walked over to you and stuck out his hand. 

“What?”

Kei sighed and reached down to grab your arm and hoist you up. “I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor, idiot. Take my bed.” 

“Kei, I’m fine. I can sleep on the floor, really!”

“Just get on the bed and go to sleep please.” He suddenly narrowed his eyes and looked very serious. “If you throw up in it overnight I _will_ murder you.”

You grinned sleepily as you crawled into his bed and under the covers. Like earlier (wow had it really only been earlier that day?), Kei’s scent enveloped you, comforting you and causing your chest to feel all warm and fuzzy..

The lights turned off and you heard Kei moving around as he got into the makeshift bed and made himself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as he could be on the floor. 

A few minutes of silence passed, and your eyelids were getting very heavy. You desperately wanted to just give into the sleep, but the feeling of guilt (and he’s it was actually just a feeling this time) had begun gnawing at your stomach again.

_I’m never going to recover from this. I can’t believe this happened. Any of it. Me telling him why Yushin and I broke up, practically dry humping him for several - okay, very glorious- minutes, and then throwing everything up right after. With him watching._

Staring into the darkness, you tried to make out Kei’s outline of the floor. 

_Are we going to be okay? Or did I just royally fuck everything up?_

“Hey Kei?”

No response. But you didn’t hear a steady rhythm of deep breaths coming from him that indicated he was asleep. So you figured he was still awake. 

“I’m really sorry. About everything.” 

More silence. 

You took a deep breath and then rolled over to face the wall. 

_I guess he hates me._

You tried to stay awake for as long as you could, hoping that maybe he’d respond eventually, but you found yourself falling asleep without the silence being broken. 

Fuck alcohol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :) Let me know whatcha think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. This still isn't the end. It was supposed to be, but then it just.. wasn't. I swear on my dog's life that the next chapter is going to be it. Pinky promise.

Chapter 5

* * *

The harsh sunlight spilling in from the windows dragged you out of your sleep the next morning. You shoved your head into the pillow hoping to block out the light and go back to sleep, but all it took was being awake for not even a minute before the raging headache pounded against your temples.

Groaning, you rolled onto your back and cracked open your eyes. The light didn’t do your headache any favors and you groaned as you pushed yourself into a sitting position. Kei was probably already up and had most likely spent the entire morning coming up with insults and jokes about the previous to assault you with.

But to your surprise, the floor was bare. The makeshift bed had been cleaned up, everything folded neatly on the floor. Kei was nowhere to be seen. 

You couldn’t deny that you felt at least a little relieved, knowing you had a bit of time to collect yourself before facing him after the previous night. You laid back down and, hoping to get just a bit more sleep, closed your eyes. 

And that’s when your brain decided to remind you about _exactly_ what happened the night before. 

_Oh my god._

You shot back up, wincing as both your head and your stomach swam dangerously from the movement. 

_Oh my god that wasn’t a dream holy shit I kissed Kei no wait kissing isn’t even a good description I tried to devour Kei fuck fuck fuck_

You smacked your balled up fists into the bed over and over again, hoping that maybe if you beat it up enough you’d feel better. 

You didn’t. 

Regret. Guilt. Shame. 

You felt numb as you laid there and stared at the ceiling. 

_What did I do... It’s over. Our friendship is over._

Well, maybe you were being dramatic. He did respond after all, and your hand absentmindedly grazed over your neck, blushing as you thought about how eagerly his lips had worked on it and how his hot, shallow breath had felt against it when he was panting to keep up. 

You wanted to be happy. You really did. I mean, things that you had only dreamt over and over again about for the past few years had finally happened in real life. You finally knew what his lips felt like against yours, what his body felt like pressed against yours, what his _hard dick_ _felt like against you._ It was everything you wanted. 

But you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy because somewhere within you, you knew this would change things beyond repair. 

Knowing that sleep would not be coming again, you sat back up with the intent to get up and get dressed. You swept your eyes around the room, searching for your clothes, and you felt your heart tighten in your chest when you saw them.

They were folded up and sitting neatly on Kei’s desk, sitting right next to a bottle of water, a small package of pain medication, and one of the snacks he had gotten last night. 

Once you managed to drag yourself to your feet and over to the desk, you saw that there was also a note sitting on top of your clothes. 

_“Went out to meet up with Kuroo and the others. Don’t wait up.”_

You weren’t exactly sure how to feel as you contemplated his note while getting changed back into your own clothes. On one hand, he had been nice enough to leave you some hangover essentials. On the other hand, something about the words written on the paper didn’t sit well with you. 

The gloomy thoughts returned as you made Kei’s bed and took the painkillers. They stuck with you as you trudged across campus back to your own dorm. They continued to weigh you down after you showered and crawled into your bed, laying with the blankets pulled all the way up to your chin. You truly felt like you could spend the rest of your life like this, huddled into a ball with a grey cloud of mixed, awful emotions constantly hovering over you. 

You only managed to brood for an hour or so before your roommate returned from wherever she had been. She was talking on the phone loudly, telling some story very enthusiastically to the person on the other end. 

“I really wish I was making this up, but I am being a hundred percent serious. I know! I can’t believe it either! And to make things worse, they- Oh shit,” her voice dropped significantly, down to a low whisper. “Hey, my roommate is sleeping. I’ll text you, okay?” 

You waited a few more moments, listening as she tip-toed around the room to do whatever it is she needed to do. 

“I’m not asleep,” you sighed, voice barely audible over the thick comforter covering your mouth. You watched as your roommate jumped, spinning around with a hand to her heart. 

“Jesus! You scared me!” She stared at you with wide eyes for a minute, trying to regulate her breathing, before she seemed to sense that something was off with you. Walking over to your bed, she sat on the edge and looked at you with concern.

“Are you okay? I wanted to text you last night when you didn’t come home but I figured..” Her voice trailed off and you understood what she meant. You sighed again as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position. She gasped suddenly, covering her hands with her mouth. You furrowed your brows.

“What?” 

Despite her hand covering it, you could still see the corners of her lips pull up and she twitched as she tried to hold back a laugh. “Did you get in a fight with a vampire last night?” 

“What?” Your brain still felt sluggish from the hangover, so it took you a moment. Then it registered. “No!” You gasped, throwing the covers off of you and launching yourself out of bed. You ran to the mirror that hung over the small sink in the corner of your room and your entire face turned red when you saw. 

The left side of your neck, starting from just below your jaw and dipping underneath the collar of your shirt, was littered with small pink and purple bruises. You were so caught up in the moment the night before that you hadn’t even reminded Kei to make sure he didn’t leave marks. You cursed yourself for giving in to the amazing feeling because you didn’t think any amount of makeup would fully cover this damage. 

Moaning, you dropped your face in your hands. “I can’t believe I walked across campus like this. How many people saw???” 

Your roommate wasn’t even trying to hold back the laughter as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “It’s okay. I have some cute turtlenecks and scarves you can borrow. People might look at you funny, but it’ll probably be less weird than them seeing you look like you lost a fight with a vacuum cleaner.” 

You moaned into your hands again, regretting every decision you’ve ever made in the entirety of your life that led you to this very moment. 

“So, who’s responsible for this? I’d like to meet them and congratulate them for one-upping Dracula.” 

You tried to answer her, you really did. But as your lips moved to form Kei’s name, a muffled sob came out instead. And before you realized what was happening, your hands were soaked with tears and your shoulders shook as you finally let the gloomy feelings engulf you completely. Your roommate stiffened beside you for just a moment before she pulled you to her and gently pressed your head into her clavicle. 

“I-I.. really… fu-fucked.. up,” you managed to choke out in between sobs. 

“Did you not use protection? Because I can go with you right now to get a prescription for-” 

“No, n-not that.” 

“Was it Yushin? Did you guys meet up and have regrettable post breakup sex?” She sighed, her breath tickling the top of your head. “Been there, done that, won’t be going back ever again.” 

You just shook your head. “Worse.” 

“Worse? Oh no.. were they ugly?” 

You couldn’t help the laughter that escaped as you shook your head. Something about her question made the weight on your chest lighten ever-so-slightly, which you knew was her goal. She was your roommate, one of your close friends, and she knew how to cheer you up. 

“It was Kei.” 

Your roommate was the only other person, aside from Akiteru and possible Kuroo, who knew about your true feelings for the blond. You didn’t intend to tell her, especially because she had been a roommate randomly chosen for you by the University. But she was so easy to get along with, so easy to talk to, and the first time she met Kei she hounded you afterwards when you were alone and wouldn’t let up until you confessed everything. She claimed that your “vibes with Kei aren’t the type of vibes that just-friends have”. 

She hummed and you could feel her nodding slowly. “Ah, I see. Okay, here’s what’s going to happen.” She pulled back and held you at arm's length. “I’m going to make us some tea and you can tell me about what happened. And then from there I’ll decide whether or not I will be arrested for assault tonight.” She clicked her tongue and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Or would it be animal abuse, seeing as he’s a giraffe and everything..” The two of you locked eyes for a moment before bursting out into a fit of giggles. 

And so, you spent the next hour sitting on your roommates bed, sipping your tea, and telling her all of the details about the night before. You told her about the party and how Kuroo had pushed you onto Kei’s lap, about your run in with Yushin (“So I will be getting arrested for assault tonight, that little fucker isn’t getting away with that!”), and about how Kei had gone above and beyond to help you make your ex jealous. 

You told her about how Kei had upset you by saying you would eventually leave him, how you got all sappy and emotional, and then how you then threw yourself at him a moment later (“Stop hiding your face! It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten any, so no detail goes untold!!”). Honestly though, you were more embarrassed telling her about how you had thrown up while Kei held your hair. Why _that_ was the detail you wanted to leave out most, you had no idea, but it probably had something to do with the fact that your roommate cried from laughing so hard while you told her. 

Once you finished, you watched as she chewed on her bottom lip while she tried to fully comprehend everything you had thrown at her. 

_She probably thinks I’m so stupid. Because I am stupid! She’s going to tell me that Kei is going to pull away from me, feeling disgusted by my actions, and that I was an idiot for ruining my friendship with him. I know it._

“Man,” she finally said, a grin spreading across her face. “This is like one of those kdramas I used to watch back in high school! I feel like every one I’ve watched has prepared me for this exact moment.”

You couldn’t help but feel relieved that her first thought hadn’t been to berate you. If she did think you were the stupidest person on the face of the planet, she’d probably just keep it to herself. 

“You think I can get away with just pretending I don’t remember?” You asked hopefully. She scoffed, immediately shaking her head. 

“Normally I’d say it’s worth a shot but with your battle scars, I don’t think that’s an option.” Her eyes softened a bit. “Plus, I think this could be an important moment for you guys. You’ve been in love with him for what, three years? Maybe this is what it takes for the two of you to finally get together.” 

“Yeah but the problem with that is for it to work, he’d have to actually like me back. Which he doesn’t.” Your eyes drifted downwards and you focused intently on picking a piece of lint off of your leggings. 

“I dunno know man, your neck is telling a different story.” 

You felt your cheeks heat up. “He was drunk too, it doesn’t count.” 

“Have you seen how tall he is? It’s going to take a bit more than two cups of alcohol to get him to a point where he’d start _devouring_ people he didn’t like.” Your cheeks burned even more at the emphasis she put on “devouring”. “Plus, I really do think he likes you. Look, I don’t know much about him, other than what you’ve told me. I’ve only met him a handful of times. But what I _do_ know is the look of a man who hates everyone and everything. And that’s the look he has on his face most of the time. But you know when he doesn’t have it on his face?” 

You finally brought your eyes up to meet hers, and you were slightly taken aback by how serious her features were. Her eyes were burning into yours with more intensity than you’ve ever seen come from her. 

“When he’s looking at you.” 

You shook your head, refusing to accept what she had said. “Are you kidding? The number of times I’ve been on the receiving end of his death glare is a number that is far too high to count.” 

“Do you remember that time I tagged along with you guys to get ice cream, and we ended up wandering through the park downtown?”

You did. That was the day that you had gotten your very first failing grade. It was just a quiz, it didn’t mean much, but you had never seen such a low score in all your years as a student. You had called Kei, and after ten minutes of blubbering on the phone, he interrupted you to tell you that he was hungry and that if you paid for his, he’d walk with you to get ice cream. You ran into your roommate on the way out of your building and invited her along. In the end, Kei had paid for your ice cream and hers. 

“There was a moment that day, while we were walking through the park, when you stopped to pet a dog that had run up to you. You completely ignored us for like a solid five minutes while you played with it and talked to it like you were expecting it to understand and respond. I happened to look over at Kei for a brief moment and if I hadn’t known any better, judging purely by the look on his face, I would have thought that the entire solar system revolved around you.” 

“You’re being dramatic,” you mumbled. But despite the uncertainty your brain felt, your heart was pounding rapidly in your chest. You so desperately wanted to believe her. 

“I wish, because it was a little unsettling if I’m being honest. He had this dopey smile on his face and.. I don’t know, it was like seeing Freddy Kruger smile or some shit. Weird. I didn’t look for too long because I legitimately felt like I was seeing something that I wasn’t allowed to see.” 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you tried to make sense of what she was saying, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around it. Your roommate sighed, seeing that she wasn’t going to get through to you. “Have you texted him today at least? Or has he texted you?” 

He hadn’t texted you, and you certainly hadn’t texted him, but you checked your phone just in case. Your excitement rose when you saw that you had a message notification, but it immediately fell when it ended up just being some stupid automated text from some website. You shook your head, dropping your phone in your lap. 

“Well that’s where you should start. Send him a text. Tell him you want to meet up and talk. Go from there.” She placed a hand on your leg reassuringly. “I know it’s scary. But not talking to him and pretending nothing happened will only make things worse. Even if I’m wrong - which I’m not - and he doesn’t return your feelings, at the very least you can clear the air and push past the awkwardness. Shit happens. You weren’t the first friends to accidentally make out, and you won’t be the last. But you do need to talk to him.” 

You hated that she was right. You hated that you knew that you needed to reach out to him, that you couldn’t just feign innocence. But you felt so nervous that your hands shook as you typed out a message. 

**To: Kei**

_Hey. Wanna meet up later? I owe you a meal for taking care of me while I was puking my guts out last night._

And then, after much deliberation, you added

_And I feel like we should talk about stuff._

You closed your eyes as you pressed send, holding your breath until you peaked through one eye and saw the little “delivered” pop up underneath the text bubble. 

Now all that was left to do was wait. 

* * *

If there had been even the slightest amount of hope in your heart that maybe Kei did return your feelings, it was squashed pretty quickly. 

Kei didn’t respond to your text until much later that night, and it was just to tell you that he already had plans with Kuroo. You were disappointed but decided to try again for the next day. 

Another excuse. 

And rinse and repeat. Every time you asked, he shut you down with just a few words. Other than to tell you he was busy, he didn’t talk to you at all. You had even tried calling him, but your calls would always either go to voicemail or get denied mid-ring. By Wednesday, you stopped trying all together. 

Your worst fear had come true. He was avoiding you. 

The week absolutely dragged on, and you found yourself unable to pay attention in any of your classes or put much effort into any of your assignments. You were absolutely certain you bombed the Biology exam you had studied for with Kei. You felt a thousand times worse now than you had the day after Yushin dumped you, and that had been before you even knew about the cheating thing. 

While Kei had never been much a texter to begin with, you felt so lonely without even the option to tell him about something stupid you had watched, or a cute dog you had seen, or something funny that had happened in class. You missed his sarcastic remarks, how he always had a random fact to go with whatever you were talking about, and even him calling you an idiot for no reason. 

You had never been apart from Kei for very long, aside from when he went to overnight training camps for volleyball or when one of you went on vacation. But that was different because you were physically far apart. Now, Kei was only a 15 minute walk away but it felt like he was on the other side of the world. 

You had planned to stop by his dorm on Friday, when you knew he would be home between class and practice. But it turned out that his volleyball team had a match in a city a few hours away the next day, so they would be travelling to that city Friday night and staying there until Sunday. So, the weekend passed and you entered week two of no contact with Kei. 

“What building is he in? What’s his room number? I just wanna talk,” your roommate growled one evening after she came home to find you moping in bed for the third day in a row. 

You laughed weakly. “I know the passcode to his room. You wouldn’t even need to wait for him to be home.” 

“Wait a second.” She gave you an incredulous look. “You know his passcode? And you haven’t just gone over to see him yet?” 

“Well no.. I mean, I don’t want to make him even more angry.” You couldn’t deny that the idea had popped into your head several times, however. You just decided that it would probably make things worse, so you never followed through. 

“You know, I was thinking. Remember how he told you that eventually you’d get mad enough at him and leave him for good?” 

You nodded. How could you forget? It was that statement that really kickstarted the whole “emotions” thing that night. 

“Well, what if that’s what he’s trying to do right now?” 

You cocked your head. “What do you mean? He’s the one ignoring me!” 

“Well yeah. But,” she paused, nibbling on her bottom lip as she considered what to say. “What if he’s trying to prove to himself that he’s right. Like, by pushing you away like he is right now, you’ll eventually give up and stop trying.” 

Her words left you speechless, and you considered the possibility of what she was suggesting. Then suddenly, as if triggered by what she said, the conversation with had with Akiteru the day he came to visit popped up in your head. 

_“He’s..” Akiteru sighed. “He told you about what happened when he was younger, right? How I lied to him about playing volleyball?” You nodded, prompting him to continue. “He won’t say it, but I think I really messed him up. I’m probably the main reason he’s so cold and reserved today. He looked up to me and trusted me with everything, and I completely shattered all of that. Because of me, he doesn’t like to do anything that could lead to him getting hurt. He pushes all of his feelings to the backburner, because if he doesn’t acknowledge them then he can’t be let down by them.”_

Was that what he was doing right now? Unsure of his emotions, so rather than acknowledging them he was pushing you away so that he could prove to himself that you were just like everyone else? 

_If he does have any sort of feelings for me, is he scared of getting hurt? Of hurting me? He can’t be let down by anything if I continue to prove him right._

The realization hit you like a truck. 

“Oh my god,” you muttered. Then your eyes whipped up to meet your roommates. “Oh my god, you’re right!” You jumped out of bed, almost tripping over yourself as you scrambled to put on your shoes. She grinned, satisfied with herself. 

“I’ll be back!” You called over your shoulder as you raced out the door. 

_I can’t believe this! Is this really what he’s trying to pull?_ You couldn’t stop the feeling of anger that was rising in your gut. _I told him that I’m not going anywhere! No matter how annoying, no matter how angry he makes me! Why can’t he just believe me!_

You knew that he wouldn’t be home right now, and that his practice wouldn’t end for another hour. As you made your way towards his building, you tried to think of what you were going to do once you got there.

_I can’t just sit there and wait for him. He’ll likely just immediately shut me down and tell me to leave. I know that he’s the one pushing me away, but I really need him to talk to me on his own terms. Okay soo…_

You got an idea as you walked past a small market that was attached to one of the academic buildings. You hurried inside, coming out five minutes later successful. You gripped the plastic container that held the single piece of strawberry shortcake tightly, making sure it didn’t flop around and get messed up as you continued speed walking towards Kei’s dorm. 

_There’s no way he’ll stay mad at me if I give him his favorite treat. No way!_

You couldn’t keep the grin off of your face, proud of yourself for thinking of that idea last minute. 

Even though you knew he wasn’t there, you still felt a wave of anxiety as you punched in the code to his room. Once it beeped to let you know it was unlocked, you opened it cautiously, as if you were expecting Kei to jump out and attack you any moment. 

His room looked as it normally did; the bed was made, his desk was tidy, and his school bag hung over the chair. Everything had a place, and everything was in its place. You felt a dull ache of longing in your chest as you took in a deep breath. The room smelled like him. And maybe you had some serious attachment issues or something, but _man_ did you miss that smell and the person it so deliciously clung to. 

_Well, life seems to be continuing as normal for him without me._

And for a brief moment, you were consumed with a feeling of doubt. What if he didn’t want you to do this? What if he was genuinely done with you and wasn’t just running from any feelings he may have? Would this just push him away further? 

You shook your head, hoping that by doing that you could shake off the thoughts of doubt before they eventually overcame you and forced you to back out. 

_No. I’m here. I’m doing it._

You walked over to his desk and set the cake down before opening the drawers to search for a pen and a piece of paper. You felt a little guilty, like you were invading his privacy or something, but Kei was ever the minimalist and didn’t have much in the desk to begin with. The last drawer you opened, however, the one at the very bottom, made you freeze after you saw what was inside. 

This drawer contained the notebooks you were looking for, but that wasn’t what got your attention. It was what sat on top of the notebooks, slightly faded and crinkled around the edges. You picked it up, your stomach tingling from butterflies. 

It was a picture of Kei and Rex, your bearded dragon, that you had taken the very first time you had hung out with Kei and Tadashi outside of the school building. Sure, you had only been together because you were on your way to the library to work on a group project, but it was that day that really kickstarted your friendship with the boys. You vaguely remembered sending this picture to Kei once the two of you got closer, but you had no idea he had ever printed it out or even deemed it important enough to keep. 

For some reason, the fact that he still had this picture of himself and your pet made you happier than if he had had a picture of you and him. There was something so precious and so special about the small smile on Kei’s lips and the way Rex had snuggled into his neck for a nap. You distinctly remember thinking, as you snapped the picture, that Kei looked so much better when his face was soft like it was then. 

And it was Rex that kept Kei around in the beginning. Kei would ask to come over and feed him, or study him for some odd reason, or tell you about what you could do to make his tank better. He loved spending time with your bearded dragon, and when Rex had passed away in the middle of your final year of high school, you thought that Kei was just as brokenhearted about it as you were. But thankfully by that point, you and Kei had stopped relying on the lizard to keep your friendship alive.

Rex brought the two of you together. This picture signified the beginning of your friendship. And he still had it. 

Smiling to yourself, you set the picture aside so you could rip out a piece of paper from one of the notebooks. After you had your sheet, you put the picture back and gave it one last smile before closing the drawer and shutting it back away in the dark. 

You thought about what you wanted to write on the paper, wanting it to be meaningful but not over emotional to the point where you’d just scare Kei off. You had already done enough damage in that department and didn’t want to make it worse. You decided to keep it short and sweet.

_I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be waiting._

You considered adding a smiley face for good measure, but thought that it was a little overkill. So instead you placed the note underneath the slice of strawberry shortcake, took one last look around his room, then slipped back out into the hall. 

Once again, all that was left to do was wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know whatcha think!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment and give kudos on this fic :) I've been writing for years, but unfortunately my biggest motivator is still the feedback I get and knowing that people actually like what I'm writing. I always get the stupidest smile on my face when I read your comments, and it completely makes my day. So really. Thank you :)

About an hour later, when you were sitting at your desk definitely NOT checking your phone every two seconds, it finally rang. The buzzing noise caused you to physically launch out of your seat, but after seeing the name on the screen, you sat back down and tried to not feel so disappointed. 

“Hey Kuroo, what’s up?” 

He wasted no time with formalities. “So, what do I need to do to get you to deliver sweet treats to my room while I’m away? I mean I guess I can dye my hair blond and find some tacky looking glasses, but I don’t think I can dampen my amazing personality to meet your standards.” You could practically hear the smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but feel a little flutter of hope inside of you. 

“He told you about it?” You bit your lip as you waited for his response. 

**“** Nah, I was with him. I had to stop by his room to grab something after practice. I gotta say, that was the first time since the party that I’ve seen even a hint of something on his face. I was starting to worry that he finally completed his transformation into an emotionless robot.” 

Your stomach twisted into little knots. “Was it… a good emotion? Or did he immediately dump it in the trash?” 

“No, no nothing like that. Hm.. I think it was mostly surprise, but I definitely saw a bit of blush.” 

Relief washed over you. Even if he did throw it all away after Kuroo left, at least his first response wasn’t anger. “Okay, well that’s something I guess.” 

“Honestly, I’m glad at least one of you is doing something. I don’t know the extent of what’s going on, but I do know that Tsukki is being a big, mopey baby. Whenever I bring you up he glares at me and walks away. So dramatic.” Kuroo sighed loudly. 

“Yeah, he won’t talk to me either.” You couldn’t keep the disappointment out of your voice. “That’s why I had to resort to breaking into his room. Desperate times call for desperate needs.” 

“Keep it up. He’ll break eventually!” 

You groaned. “Kuroo, the point isn’t to _break_ him. I just want him to talk to me, that’s it!” 

“And he wants to talk to you. I know he does because he liiiikkkeesss you,” Kuroo sang the last bit, causing a blush to creep up your cheeks. 

“I still don’t know why you say that, I kn-”

“Fuck, are we back on this? You’re making me sound like a damn broken record!” There was a deep sigh. “Aside from the literal millions of other reasons why I _know_ he likes you, I guess I’ll tell you the biggest indicator. Since you’re not getting it through your thick skull.” His voice sounded harsh, but you knew there was no real bite behind it. You stayed silent, listening as he continued.

“Tsukishima has lots of names that people call him. Tsukishima, Tsukki, Salty-Shima, Tsuki-blahblah, Four-Eyes, dickwad, and the list goes on and on. But there’s only one person I know who calls him by his given name. Only one person he _lets_ call him by his given name. And that’s you. And don’t tell me that it’s not that big of a deal like I know you’re about to-” You snapped your mouth shut because he was not wrong, “-because it is a big deal. One time in high school, Bokuto called him by his given name and ended up with a spike to the back of the head and a nasty threat. He doesn’t take it lightly. He likes you and you like him and I know for a fact I’m right.” 

You just kept your mouth shut, prompting an assertive “Hmph!” from the man on the other end of the call. 

“You’re both hopeless, I swear. You know, you should just do something that leaves no room for doubts. Why don’t you write him a gushy letter confessing your undying love for him?” 

“Uh, absolutely not.” 

Kuroo sighed wistfully. “Guess that’s just the hopeless romantic in me.” 

“But actually, you did give me a good idea. I’ll just bombard him with stuff every day and eventually he’ll _have_ to talk to me!” You beamed, despite the fact that he couldn’t see it, feeling proud of yourself. 

There was silence, and for a moment you wondered if the call dropped. But then you heard Kuroo huff. “I literally suggested that and you shut me down. You didn’t want to break him, remember?” 

You shrugged. “Okay well, we’ll call it… ‘overwhelming him with my affection’. That sounds much nicer.” 

“Whatever you need to tell yourself. Well, our practice is gonna run a little short tomorrow, so make sure you get in early.” 

“Got it. Thanks Kuroo, what would I do without you?” 

He laughed. “Still trying to convince everyone that you’re not in love with Grumpy-shima. Which, I still don’t understand when _I’m_ right here but-” 

“Bye Kuroo!” You interrupted, hanging up quickly before he could say anything else. Kuroo wasn’t wrong about your feelings, but that didn’t mean you wanted to hear him saying it so many times. 

_Alright. Time to think about what I can do tomorrow._

* * *

The next day, you managed to pull off a second break-in without any problems. You were pleased to find, once you entered Kei’s room, that the strawberry shortcake you had brought the day before was nowhere to be seen, and there was an empty plastic container in the trash. The note you had left was also missing. 

For your second gift, you left a small plastic dinosaur figurine, one that you had picked up a while ago and then forgot about. It was always intended to be a gift for Kei, but you never got the chance to give it to him before now. So, it was perfect really. 

You also left a second note, and while it wasn’t a mushy love letter, it might as well have been in Tsukishima Kei Language. 

_What sort of dinosaur never gives up? A try-try-triceratops!!_

_You know how stubborn I am! I’m not giving up! Hopefully I look good with three horns on my head._

_What dinosaur makes the most noise when he is asleep? A Tyranno-snorus!!_

_I don’t like when you make fun of me for snoring, but I guess I’ll let it slide if you only refer to me as Tyranno-snorus from now on!_

_Still waiting for whenever you’re ready to talk, but do know that I’m only going to get more obnoxious :)_

You were proud of yourself in the moment, but as you laid in bed that night trying to sleep, you couldn’t help but feel ridiculous. 

“What if he thinks the jokes are stupid??” You groaned into your pillow, repeating the same question you had already asked about 10 times. 

“For the last time,” you roommate said gently, the patient and kind soul she was, “You make dumb jokes all day, every day. I’m sure that if he hated them that much he wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as he did.” 

“Yeah, I guess so,” you muttered. 

You wanted to believe her, you really did, but the anxiety bubbling in your stomach was making it impossible. When you closed your eyes, the worst case scenarios played over and over again until you couldn’t take it anymore and opened your eyes to stare at the ceiling. 

Were you just wasting your time? Was this a lost cause? Did Kei really want you to just go away for good? 

Doubt and uncertainty never left your mind no matter how hard you tried, sending you into a fitful night of sleep. And the next day, your carefully thought out plan to get Kei to talk to you came to a screeching halt. 

Your eyes weren’t even open the next morning before you knew something was seriously wrong. Your head was pounding, your throat was scratchy, and despite being covered up your body was shaking from chills. 

You were sick. 

“Hey,” your roommate called out once she saw you shuffling around. “You’ve been coughing all night. Are you okay?” 

Your only response was a moan. Opening your mouth and talking seemed like a horrible idea, and you had neither the willpower nor the energy to do it. You flinched violently when you felt an ice cold hand on your forehead. 

“Oh my god, you’re burning up!” Your roommate exclaimed. You cracked open an eye to see her eyes wide and full of concern. 

“Yeah,” you managed to croak out. “I don’t feel good.” 

“It must be the changing weather combined with all the stress you’ve been under because of everything.” She sighed heavily. “You need to go to the hospital.” 

You waved a hand weakly through the air. “Nah, I just need some water and medicine and I’ll be okay.” You grunted as you sat up, scrunching up your face in pain as your head throbbed from the movement. “I gotta get up and get ready for class.” 

Your roommate shook her head, shoving you back down. “Oh no. You are _not_ going to class like that. Even if you were feeling okay, you could get someone else sick. You’re staying here. Go back to sleep and I’ll bring you some medicine when I get home from class.” 

You wanted to argue, but you just didn’t have the energy. Nodding weakly, you nuzzled your face back into the pillow and closed your eyes. 

_Whyyyyyy. Why now. Why did my body have to do this now!! Is Kei going to think I gave up if there’s nothing waiting for him when gets home from practice?_

Once again, you fell into a fitful sleep feeling nothing but doubt and sadness. 

As promised, your roommate came home from class with medicine and juice and practically shoved it down your throat the second you woke up. Putting her hand against your forehead again, she shook her head and clicked her tongue. 

“You’re no cooler than you were earlier. Come on, you need to change into lighter clothes and get out from under that thick cover.” When you moaned and hid under the covers in protest, she dragged you out of bed by your leg.

“Excuse me, I’m sick! Aren’t you supposed to treat the sick with care?” You exclaimed as she tried to wrestle your sweatshirt off of you.

“Yeah, but not when the sick person is being stubborn!” The look in her eye was enough to make you give up the fight. Knowing she wasn’t going to back down, and that you didn’t have much energy left, you changed out of your warm clothes and into a tank top and shorts. You didn’t stop the angry grumbles that came out of your mouth though. 

“Stop complaining!” She snapped. “I know you’re cold, but it’s going to help with the fever. If you refuse to go to the hospital for fluids, this is what you have to do!” She pushed a lightweight blanket into your arms. “This is what you get. No thick comforter!” 

You sighed and nodded before wrapping the blanket around your shoulder. It definitely was not warm, and the only thing you wanted was to bundle up and sleep, but you knew that your roommate would not allow for it. As if to prove your point, she gave you a stern look. 

“I have to go and run an errand real quick. If I come back and you’re under that comforter, I’m dragging you to the hospital myself.” She paused as she thought about something. “I was supposed to leave for home this afternoon, and spend the weekend there, but maybe I should stay..” She said this more to herself than to you, and she didn’t even let you argue before she was out the door. 

“She’s so dramatic. All I want is to sleep,” you mumbled as you wobbled back to your bed, your eyes already sliding closed. You began drifting off, and you were _so_ close to finally succumbing to the darkness, when an annoyingly loud buzzing ripped you back to reality. 

You groaned and slapped your hand around until it connected with your phone. Not even bothering to look at who was calling, you answered it and held it to your ear.

“Hello?” Your voice was scratchy and weak. 

“Whoa, am I talking to an old man?” 

“What do you want, Kuroo.” You tried to sound nice, but you were tired and annoyed and not in the mood to talk. 

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was genuine, and you began to feel bad for your awful attitude. 

“No, I woke up this morning sick. I feel awful.” 

“Yeah, you don’t sound great. Is your roommate there to help take care of you, at least?” 

“She is right now, but she’s going home for the weekend. I don’t mind, she already brought me some medicine and all I’m going to do is sleep anyways.” 

Kuroo just hummed and you were thankful he didn’t press the issue anymore. You didn’t need another overbearing person on your ass today. “Well, I was calling to see how your mission went yesterday. I know asking four-eyes will get me nowhere.” 

You let out a breath that was supposed to be a laugh. “It was fine. Still haven’t heard from him though, and I have to put this whole thing on hold until I can walk more than two steps without wanting to collapse.” 

“That bad, huh? Well, I’ll let you go then so you can sleep. Feel better, okay? If you die on me and leave me to deal with the bean pole on my own, I will bring you back to life so I can kill you myself.” 

“So kind of you,” you joked. He just laughed, the sound bringing a smile to your face, and said one last goodbye before hanging up. The phone wasn’t even out of your hand before your eyes slid shut and you fell asleep. 

The rest of the morning and early afternoon consisted of you going in and out of sleep while your roommate continued to fret over you and monitor your condition every 15 minutes. You loved her, but you couldn’t help but feel very overwhelmed by her presence. It really was just a cold and you had to assure her several times that you would not die right then and there. 

“Maybe I should stay for tonight.. I can leave for my house early tomorrow morning,” your roommate chewed on her bottom lip as she stood by the door with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder. 

“Absolutely not,” you argued as you pushed her towards the door. “Honestly, I’m already feeling better because of the medicine you gave me. I’ll keep taking it, I’ll drink lots of water, and I’ll get plenty of rest.” It wasn’t even a lie! Thanks to the medicine, the pounding in your head was reduced to a low throb, you could stand upright with ease, and you stopped shivering constantly. 

She looked like she was going to argue as you opened the door. You help up your hand, cutting her off. “Honestly, I will probably rest better without you here poking and prodding at me every five minutes. Go. Leave. Enjoy your weekend!” 

She gave you one last look filled with doubt before sighing and stepping out into the hall. “Okay, fine. But call me immediately if you start to feel worse, or if your fever gets any higher. And make sure you eat lots of food so that the medicine doesn’t make you sick. Oh! And also-” 

“Bye!” Giving her one last shove, you slammed the door in her face. You listened to her muffled exclaims for a few seconds before she finally gave up, and the sweet sound of nothing filled your ears. 

Feeling very much like a child being left home alone by their parents for the first time, you decided that what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her and walked over to your closet to grab a sweatshirt. You were in the middle of pulling it over your head when you stopped dead in your tracks. 

A familiar beeping filled the silent room, indicating that someone was punching in the code to unlock the door. 

Thoughts of your roommate yelling at you and violently dragging you to the hospital while you cried and tried to claw your way out of her grip filled your mind. You tried to rip the sweatshirt off, but your haste mixed with how terrified you were caused you to get tangled up in it. 

“I said I was fine, you didn’t need to come back! Please don’t kill me, I’m so cold and I just want to wear it for a bit! Just a few minutes!” You didn’t bother turning around as you heard the door open, instead deciding to hide your face in the very sweatshirt that would cause your doom. 

You held your breath as the sound of footsteps got closer, your body tensed in anticipation of your roommate grabbing you. But it never happened. 

“Kill you over a sweatshirt? Even I’m not that mean.” 

That.. was not your roommate. 

Dropping the arms that were covering your face, you blinked up and your eyes met golden ones. Kei was standing in front of you, brows raised and arms crossed, a bag dangling from one of his fists. 

“Oh,” was the only thing you could think to say. You were very surprised, to say the least. 

_What in the world.._

“You could at least pretend you’re happy to see me, you know.” 

“I-I.. I mean I am! I’m just surprised, I guess. How’d you know my room code?” 

Kei tilted his head back towards the door. “I ran into your roommate on the way in. She made me promise to make sure you were following her directions in exchange for the code.” He eyed the sweatshirt you were wearing, a look of amusement in his eyes. “I’m assuming you’re already breaking a rule.” 

You clasped your hands together as if in prayer. “Please don’t tell her. She _will_ come back here and drag me to the hospital, and I just got her to finally leave. Please!” 

He brushed past you to place the bag he was holding on your desk. “Kuroo told me you sounded awful. He was right, you look like shit.” 

Your hands dropped to your sides as you turned to glare. “Perfect, that’s just the look I was going for.” 

“He also told me that your roommate was going to be gone this weekend and that if I didn’t at least stop by to check up on you, he’d make me run laps after practice for the next week.” 

_Oh. So he’s here because he hates physical activity, not because he wants to see me._

“Ah. Well, I’m fine. I’ll tell him you stopped by.” You didn’t mean for the words to come out so harshly, but it was hard to pretend you weren’t upset about the situation. After not talking for the longest amount of time in the years you had been friends, he wasn’t even there because he wanted to be. 

He turned to look at you, and you just gave him a fake smile that you knew wasn’t fooling anyone. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” 

Kei’s calculating gaze sent a shiver down your spine, though that also could have been partially due to the fever. You almost jumped as he took a step closer to you. 

“Well, I’m here and I have some time before practice. I can at least hang out and make sure you don’t die.” He placed a hand on your forehead, causing your breath to hitch. His normally warm hands felt like ice on your forehead, and he frowned. “You’re burning up.” 

“Yup,” you nodded, popping the “p” dramatically as you rocked back on forth on your heels. Kei sighed and gently pushed your shoulder towards your bed. 

“Go lay down. I’ll wet a cloth for your forehead and we’ll watch a movie.” 

“It’s fine, you really don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.” 

He sighed again, this time much louder. “I know that. So please, go lay down and stop arguing. I’ll even let you pick the movie.” 

You bit back a smile, trying to not be too excited about the fact that he decided to stay. You knew that the two of you should probably discuss the elephant in the room, but you decided that it could wait. You didn’t want to push too hard too quickly and scare him off. 

As Kei worked on getting a wet cloth, you got in bed and pulled out your phone to send a quick text.

**To: Kuroo**

_Threatening him with extra laps for a week? That’s harsh._

You were surprised when your phone buzzed a few seconds later. Kuroo hardly ever texted back that quickly. 

**From: Kuroo**

_What do you mean?_

**To: Kuroo**

_Don’t play dumb._

**From: Kuroo**

_I’m not! I really don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m not even the captain so I couldn’t assign laps even if I wanted to._

You furrowed your brow as you read his message, very confused. 

**To: Kuroo**

_Kei said that you threatened him with extra laps if he didn’t visit._

But you never got to see his response because after you hit send, Kei walked back up to you, wet cloth in hand. You shoved your phone away from you, trying to not look as guilty as you felt, and reached out to take the cloth from him. He pulled his hand back, clicking his tongue and shaking his head.

“I can do it,” you pouted, crossing your arms. Kei just rolled his eyes and carefully set the cloth on your head. You couldn’t stop the violent shiver the sudden coolness sent throughout your body, and you were a little embarrassed by the squeak of surprise that left your mouth. 

“I’ll let you keep the sweatshirt on but you are not covering up. Got it?” He looked at you expectantly. You nodded, your shoulders slumping with disappointment. 

_I’m just so cold, and nobody will let me get warm!!_

You shuffled over on the bed to press up against the wall when Kei climbed in after retrieving your laptop. You were shocked to find that he was able to log in without needing you to tell him your password.

“What?” He finally said, after you stared at him with your mouth open for a bit too long. “You aren’t the only one who is observant, you know. Plus, all your passwords are the same so once I learned one of them I learned them all. I keep telling you it’s a security risk.” 

You weren’t even mad when you saw the small, cheeky grin that graced his lips while he pulled open a movie streaming site. 

_I missed that smile so much. I missed_ **_him_ ** _so much._

“Oh, let’s watch that one!” You exclaimed, pointing at some animated movie you had wanted to see for some time. Kei’s eyes flicked between you and the movie before he gave a defeated sigh and clicked on the link. 

“If you fall asleep I’m immediately turning this off.” 

You grinned. “Good thing I won’t be falling asleep!”

You spoke too soon.

After 15 minutes, the temporary rush of excitement you felt to be within close proximity of Kei again wore off, leaving the exhaustion of your cold to sink back in. Despite your best efforts to stay awake, you fell asleep.

And you could feel yourself falling 

And falling 

And falling 

And suddenly the ground was underneath you, getting closer with each second

But you were still falling and the ground continued to get closer towards you until there was no space left and-

“Shit!” You jerked awake, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. You glanced around the room, feeling disoriented and confused. 

“You okay?”

His voice scared you, as you had forgotten that he was there in the room with you. You just nodded slowly, hand to your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. 

“Yeah. I just always have weird dreams when I’m sick. I get really restless and always sleep like shit. And on top of that, I’m really fucking cold but _somebody_ won’t let me bundle up.” You crossed your arms and sent a pointed glare at Kei. And as if to prove your point, another shiver tore through your body and caused you to wrap your arms tighter against yourself. 

Kei stared at you for a moment, and you were almost positive he was going to hit you with some sarcastic remark. But instead, he completely surprised you by wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close to him.

“Better?” He asked, eyes fixed on the laptop screen balancing between your guys’ legs. 

You couldn’t deny that the warmth coming from his body definitely felt good pressed into you, and it certainly helped warm you up a bit. But the biggest source of heat was coming from your own body, both excited and nervous to be so close to him. 

“You’re like a momma hen, keeping her baby chicks nice and warm,” you joked, nuzzling your face into his chest. You held back laughter as you felt him tense up.

“You are so fucking weird.”

“I know, I know. And while I appreciate your warmth, you really don’t have to-“

But as you shifted to pull away, his arm tightened around you and prevented you from moving. “Just stay there and go back to sleep. _Tyranno-snorus.”_

Your eyes widened and you looked up at him, not even trying to dim your excitement. You wanted to say something about the notes and presents you had left, maybe ask him what he thought. 

However, when you looked up at him, you saw that very rare and very genuine soft smile. The one that, without fail, completely melted your heart each and every time. The one that gave you such intense butterflies you could swear that your entire body was vibrating. 

So you decided that for now, you would just enjoy the moment with him. Because despite how much you wanted to talk to him and really work out whatever was going on between the two of you, you also knew Kei. And you knew that he was much better at doing than he was talking. So the fact that he was there with you, taking care of you, and poking fun at you? That in itself was a huge deal. 

So you simply leaned your head back on his chest and turned your attention to the movie that you had barely watched. 

“I thought you said you were gonna turn this movie off once I fell asleep.” 

You felt him shrug. “Got too lazy to move.”

You just hummed, smiling to yourself. A feeling of contentment washed over you as you laid there pressed into Kei’s chest, his steady heartbeat ringing in your ear and the comforting scent of his laundry detergent and natural musk tickling your nose. You had a good feeling that when you fell asleep this time around, for the millionth time that day, you would actually get some solid rest. 

“Hey Kei?” It came out as a quiet sigh, as your brain was hardly conscious enough to form coherent sentences. You heard - or _felt_ , rather - him hum in response. 

“I really missed you.” And you knew that there was no way for you to make him properly understand how much you meant those four words. 

He was quiet, but you felt as his arm slowly moved from around your shoulders, slid down your back, and settled snugly around your hip. You smiled sleepily as he squeezed you once, long and tight, and you knew that was his way of saying “I missed you too.”

You could also swear you heard his heartbeat pick up just a tad bit, but you weren’t able to think about it too much before you fell into a much warmer and comforting sleep than you had in almost two weeks.

* * *

When you woke up again, the first thing you realized was that you were very sticky. Everywhere. Your hair was clinging to your forehead, your shirt was clinging to your body, and overall you just felt gross. 

“What the..”

You moved to sit up straight, but as you did so you were made aware of weight on top of your head and something wrapped tightly around your waist. 

“Your fever must have broken during that nap. You were sweating so much you put my entire volleyball team to shame.” As he talked, you felt the weight on your head moving around. So that must have meant that it was his chin pressed against you, and he was resting his head on yours. 

Glancing down, you saw that it was his arm that was holding you so firmly in place while his other arm was stretched out on his leg, holding his phone as he scrolled through social media. You were laying on your side, your body was pressed up against his, one of your arms tucked between the two of you and the other wrapped tightly around _his_ waist. 

This was a very real cuddle. And you absolutely loved it. 

You were waiting for Kei to pull away from you now that he knew you were awake, but he never did. He stayed in place, continuing to scroll through his phone. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t push me off of you the minute I started to sweat.”

“Yeah, well it didn’t feel much different than the gallon of drool you had already gotten on me so I figured I’d just let it happen.”

You pinched his side playfully and felt pleased when you felt him chuckle. 

“No jerky dreams this time. So I’m assuming you slept well?” 

You nodded, closing your eyes as you drank in the feeling of being held so tightly by him. “Mm. What time is it?” 

“It’s a little bit past six.”

“Oh, okay.” 

_Wait a second.._

Your eyes flew open and you sat up so quickly that even Kei was caught off guard. “Don’t you have practice??” 

“Calm down,” he scowled at your sudden movement, which caused him to drop his phone. “You looked so pathetic that I felt bad moving you. One missed practice won’t kill me.” 

“But.. what about your coach? _He_ will kill you.” 

Kei shrugged simply. “I’ll be fine.” 

You narrowed your eyes, not completely sure if you were really hearing what Kei was saying. It’s not like Kei had always been a diehard volleyball player that lived, ate, and breathed the game.. but he also wasn’t someone that skipped practice. 

“Are you going to keep staring at me, or are you going to go shower so I can go and get food for us?” He looked over at you, one eyebrow raised. 

You closed your mouth, a little embarrassed that you hadn’t even realized it was hanging open. “You know, you really don’t have to stay..” 

Kei groaned and dramatically threw his head back, not even wincing when it connected with the wall. “I know, and if you don’t stop telling me that I really _will_ leave. Besides,” his head was still tipped back but his eyes met yours, “I thought you missed me?” 

You stuck your chin up in the air, ignoring the heat you felt rising in your face. “I have no recollection of saying that.” 

Kei rolled his eyes. “Go shower. You’re gross.” Before you could protest again, strong hands gripped your waist and pulled you across his lap. 

For a brief second, when your chest was pressed up against his as he moved you over him, your mind thought it would be a brilliant idea to remind you of the night in his dorm. How you were straddling him and his hands were gripping your waist, very much like they were at that moment, but his lips were busy doing something _very_ different. 

An unnatural sound came out of your mouth as you rolled over the edge of the bed and scrambled to get your feet underneath you. It was to no avail though and you hit the floor hard with a loud “Oof”. 

You looked up to scowl at Kei, but the sound of his laughter - genuine, not snarky, not mocking - filled your ears and you couldn’t stop yourself from grinning up at him. 

_I got a genuine smile AND a genuine laugh?? All in one day?? Is it Christmas?!_

“How does ramen sound?” Kei asked as he stuck his hand out to help you up. 

“Whoa, you’re asking for my opinion? I’m honored.” 

He snorted. “No, I actually ordered the food while you were still sleeping. Just thought I’d be nice and pretend to take your opinion into consideration.” 

You gave him a look of mock surprise and put your hand against his forehead. “You? Nice? Are you sure that _you’re_ not the sick one here?” 

He moved his head back, looking grossed out. “I will get sick if you don’t keep your germy little hands out of my face.” 

“Awh, what? Is wittle Tsukki-poo worried he’s going to catch my cooties?” You pinched his cheek, tugging the skin, while grinning far too widely. 

He grabbed your wrist and pushed it away from his face and back down to your side. He didn’t release it, which you noticed with a surge of happiness.

“You are an actual child. I’m going to go and pick up our food before they assume I’m not coming and throw it out.” But despite the famous Tsukishima Glare that he was giving you, he squeezed your wrist gently before releasing it. He didn’t say anything else as he left, leaving you alone to finally think about what the hell had happened so far. 

_He doesn’t talk to me for nearly two weeks, then shows up today out of the blue to take care of me, all while pretending like nothing is wrong? Though we both know that something IS off between us, because we both are fully aware of what happened that night in his dorm and the fact that he’s been intentionally ignoring me. But he isn’t bringing it up, and I don’t want to bring it up, and to make everything worse he’s being way more touchy than usual!! I mean that was some legit snuggling we were doing while I was asleep. Much different than me just laying a head on his shoulder or leg while we watch a movie. AND he skipped practice??_

“I hate boys!!” You yelled as you moved around your room to get your shower supplies. “Boys are stupid and hard to read and make me feel BLAH inside because I can’t figure them out!!” 

The last thing you picked up was your phone, and you suddenly remembered the conversation you had been having with Kuroo earlier. Tapping the screen, you saw that you had 3 texts, all from said man. 

**From: Kuroo**

_No, all I said to him was that you sounded really sick and that it was a shame you were going to be alone this weekend. Though yes, my goal was to get him to visit you. Never explicitly told him to though ;)_

So Kei had lied? 

You kept scrolling to see that the next two messages were sent recently. 

**From: Kuroo**

_I just want you to know that even when he had a gross stomach flu, Tsukishima still came to practice. He tried to convince us that he was fine and didn’t need to go home._

**From: Kuroo**

_If you still don’t get it.. then just make Four-Eyes give you his glasses because you’re the one that needs them. <3 _

You sighed heavily, throwing the phone back on the bed. 

_Am I really so stupid to not have caught on to Kei’s feelings?_

Well, you weren’t a total idiot, at least. It wasn’t like you were completely unaware, more just.. in severe denial. Both your roommate and Kuroo had been trying to shove the truth down your throat and you had acted like a toddler who was being forced to take bitter cold medicine. 

_What am I so afraid of? Why am I so reluctant to believe that he likes me? Isn’t this what I’ve been wanting since high school?_

But you knew that it was precisely that. That you had been in love with him for so long, that was making you reluctant. You didn’t want to accept it because then you’d tell Kei about _your_ feelings, and then your entire friendship was at risk of completely crumbling if the relationship didn’t work out.

“Shit,” you groaned to yourself, burying your face in your hands. “I’m no better than Kei. This is _exactly_ what he’s thinking too!” 

You started pacing the room, continuing to talk out-loud to yourself. “This is why he won’t admit his feelings and why he’s been ignoring me since the day after the party. We’re both shit at admitting our feelings _(Well, I’ll admit_ **_my_ ** _feelings, but I don’t want to accept the possibility that he returns them)_ because we’re afraid of getting hurt, so instead we just pretend we don’t see them.” 

_Okay. No more beating around the bush. We’re talking about it. Tonight._

And so you headed to the shower, hoping that you could wash the intense feeling of nervousness off of your body and let it flow down the drain, taking it far away from you.

* * *

“For the _last_ time, the best course of action would be to go to the countryside and get as far away from major cities as possible!” 

“But what happens when you need supplies? If you travel too far from the city, you’ll find yourself shit out of luck when you run out of food and medical necessities.” Kei sounded exasperated, like he couldn’t believe he had to have this conversation with you. 

“Stock up on as many medical supplies as you can and know where the nearest pharmacy or convenience store is so that if you need to go, you don’t get lost. And as for food, just grow your own and raise chickens or some shit!” 

Kei’s hands stopped mid-way to his mouth, the noodles dangling from his chopsticks precariously, and he gave you an incredulous look. “Yeah? And how are you going to get live animals? Just casually stroll into a store and tell the nearest zombie you’d like their finest chickens and goats?” 

Something about his question made you giggle, but the second you realized what you were doing you immediately shut your mouth and set your face straight again. You had been arguing with Kei about this for the past ten minutes, and you weren’t about to let him win. 

“Well, it’s a better idea than holing up near a city! That’s where the most zombies are going to be!” 

“I’m sure there would be quarantine zones set up.” 

Now it was your turn to give him an incredulous look. “It would only take one infected person to bring down the entire thing. You’d be fucked before you even realized what was happening!” 

Kei rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I guess we’re going to have to agree to disagree. It’s not like zombies are real anyways. And even if they were, their bodies would likely decompose pretty quickly due to lack of-”

“Yeah, yeah. We get it, you’re smart.” But you still gave him a smile as he glared at you for cutting him off. “Regardless, if a zombie outbreak _did_ happen, would you stick with me?” 

Kei hummed, taking your question into consideration. Then, he nodded. “Yeah, I think you’d be useful.” 

You sat up straight, your face lighting up. “Really?” 

“Really.” Then he smirked, and you could feel your face fall. “If we ever had to run away, you’re so slow that they’d definitely get you first and while they’re distracted by you, I can get away safely.” 

You slumped back down, scowling at his answer. “That’s cruel.” You pointed a chopstick at him angrily. “I would never use you as zombie bait. Goes to show who the _real_ friend is here.” 

He just smiled sweetly at you (and no, your heart definitely did _not_ skip a beat) and slurped his noodles loudly. 

_Okay. Now is the time. Just get it over with. Confess and tell him that you know he feels the same. Do it!!_

You had been fighting this internal battle with yourself ever since Kei returned with dinner. You had blushed so furiously when he first walked in your room that he actually checked your temperature again because he was certain your fever had come back. It hadn’t.

But every time you tried to muster up the courage to say something, you’d either talk yourself out of it or Kei would change the subject and you felt like it was too awkward to mention then. So, you continued to sit and let the nerves keep building up inside of you. It was not fun. 

You opened your mouth to finally say what you wanted to say, but to your dismay, something entirely different came out. “Wanna watch a zombie movie now?” 

“Only so I can point out how much better I’d be at surviving than you.” 

You laughed, shaking your head. “You’re ridiculous.” 

The two of you quickly finished dinner and climbed back into the bed. At first, you guys simply sat side-by-side rather awkwardly while Kei pulled up a movie on your laptop. But once he had gotten it started and settled the laptop between the two of you, you felt bold enough to rest your head on his shoulder and link your arm with his, hugging it closely to your side. He didn’t move to pull away. In fact, you thought you felt him scooch just a _tiny_ bit closer to you. You felt that familiar warm and fuzzy feeling in your chest, the feeling that only Kei could give you.

It was intense right from the start, causing you to tense up and flinch away from the screen several times before you had even hit the halfway mark. But Kei made comments or jokes throughout the movie, and especially during the really intense parts, that made you feel a little bit better. A little bit safer. 

There was one particularly scary part though, where the main characters were trying to sneak through an area filled with zombies without being detected. You held your breath as you watched, afraid that if even you made a noise the monsters would somehow become aware of the characters on the screen.

“I’m going to lose circulation in my arm if you keep squeezing it any tighter,” Kei whispered, leaning down to reach your ear. The sudden feeling of his breath against your skin mixed with the intensity you were feeling from the movie caused you to squeak and jerk away violently. Despite the darkness of the room, you could see the amused smile on his face from the light of the computer screen. 

“Stop scaring me!” You exclaimed, shoving your shoulder into his. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how much of a baby you were. You need me to protect you?” 

You scoffed. “Protect me? Aren’t you the one who said you’d let me get eaten by zombies so you could run away? I’ll take my chances alone.” 

He pulled his arm out of your grip and started to move away. “Alright then, whatever you say..” 

“Wait no!” You grabbed him and pulled him back to you with all of your might. “Please don’t.” 

“Tch. You’re such a baby.” But despite how annoyed he tried to sound, his actions showed the complete opposite. You felt your breath catch in your throat as his left arm snaked around you, coming to rest on your hip. At the same time as he pulled you close to him, his right arm reached around the front of you, his hand fumbling around until it connected with your left hand. Once it made contact, he laced his fingers with yours and pulled your arm closer to him so your intertwined fingers comfortably in the middle of the two of you. 

Like earlier, there was no denying that this was a full on snuggle. And you could hardly contain your excitement, even more so because he was once again the one initiating it. Normally, if you didn’t touch him then the two of you never touched. But here he was, pulling you to him _and_ holding your hand. It was almost too much, and you had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from blurting out what you really wanted to say. 

_Not right now. Wait until the movie is over._

The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the movie, and you made sure to take advantage of all of the scary parts that would warrant you burying your face in Kei’s chest. He made fun of you every time you did so, but you could tell by the way he’d squeeze your waist or rub the back of your hand with his thumb everytime you got scared, that he really didn’t mean any of the insults. Besides, you threw just as many back at him anyways. 

“Okay…” You started, once the ending credits were rolling on the screen. “I’m sorry if you were planning on leaving, but there’s no way you can go home tonight after that.” 

He sighed, looking down at you. “Really?” 

You stuck your lip out in a pout. “Please? I’ll even sleep on the floor! I just really don’t want to be alone. That movie was terrifying.” 

“But zombies aren’t even real.” 

“Yeah, and neither is the boogeyman but I’m sure there was a period in your life where you were terrified of him,” you snapped. Then, much sweeter, you continued. “Please?” 

“Fine. But I’m not sleeping on the floor. I’ll just sleep with my head at the foot of the bed.” 

You crinkled your nose up in mock disgust. “But then I have to deal with your smelly feet in my face all night.” 

“Okay, well then I’ll just go home.”

“No!” You exclaimed. “I’ll take the stinky feet. Please stay.” 

You honestly weren’t that scared and you knew you’d be fine on your own, but you also knew you still wanted to talk to him.. and you just really wanted him to stay. You weren’t ready for your time with him to end just yet. 

“Fine,” he groaned. “I’ll stay. But you’re taking medicine before you go to sleep _and_ buying me breakfast in the morning.” 

“Aye aye, captain!” 

As you took your medicine and got ready for bed, butterflies began to fill your stomach. 

_Okay. I can’t keep putting this off. We need to talk about it now._

But just like earlier, you couldn’t bring yourself to open your mouth and start talking. So instead, you laid down at your respective end of the bed and stared up at the ceiling. The only light in the room came from the foot of your bed, where Kei’s screen was lighting up his face as he scrolled through whatever. 

_How do I even start this conversation? Should I just get straight to the point? Do I mention how he’s been ignoring me? Do I ask him if there’s anyone he likes and go from there? Ugh! I need to start now before the cold medicine starts making me drowsy!!_

Closing your eyes, you grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly to your chest, and prayed that you’d be able to hear yourself talking over the roar of your thundering heartbeat in your ears. At the very least, Kei’s face wasn’t near yours so you didn’t have to worry about looking at him while you talked. 

“Hey, Kei?” You started, your voice already sounding a little shaky. 

“If you’re about to make a joke about my feet being in your face then I’m just going to kick you.” 

You laughed softly. “No. That’s not it. I just,” you took a deep breath, “I need to say some stuff, okay? And I really need you to listen. Just listen. Please don’t fall asleep, please don’t interrupt me, and _please_ don’t get up and leave.” 

He didn’t answer, but the light of his phone suddenly went out and you felt him shift around so that he was laying on his back. 

_Okay, you got this. You can do it. Just start slowly, maybe talking about how sad you’ve been while he was ignoring you and then-_

“I love you, Kei.” 

_Shit._

It came out before you even realized what you were saying. You brought the pillow over your face and smashed it against you, hoping that it at least sort of muffled the frustrated groan that came out of your mouth. Once you let it all out, you brought the pillow back down to your chest. 

“Fuck, that’s.. That’s not.. I wanted..” You couldn’t find the words. Your brain was running a mile a minute while it tried to process what you had just said and figure out a way to salvage the conversation. 

_Whatever. The damage has already been done._

An odd feeling of calmness washed over you at that thought, knowing that there really wasn’t any way you could make this conversation go any _worse._ It gave you the push you needed to continue. 

“I love you, and the romantic in me wants to say I’ve loved you since the moment I saw how absolutely adorable you were with Rex that first time you came over to my house, but the realist in me knows that I don’t _actually_ know when I fell in love with you, I just kinda realized it one day and cried for a long time. But it’s been a few years.

“And I know you at least have _some_ sort of feelings for me too. Or at least, that’s what Kuroo and my roommate keep telling me, ya know because you let me call you by your given name, and apparently you smile at me when I’m not looking - which is _rude_ by the way, because I love your smile and want to see it whenever I can - and you even skipped practice to be here today.” 

You were rambling at this point, but you knew there was no way to stop it. Maybe it was the cold medicine that was starting to make you feel delirious. 

“And I don’t know if what happened after the party freaked you out, and I’m so, so sorry if it did, that wasn’t my intention at all, you had just made me really upset by telling me that you thought I would get tired of you and leave which is not at all true because well, I love you, and yes I know you’re rude and cranky and not the best at talking or expressing your feelings but I also know that you’re caring, you’re passionate about the things you do like, and you’re really good at making me feel like I’m important to you which is really all that matters to me, and what was I talking about? Oh yeah, you really upset me and then I just got overwhelmed with emotions and I was drunk so I kissed you and then once I-“

You stopped abruptly when you felt the bed shift again as Kei started to move. 

_No no no, I pushed too far and now he’s going to leave fuck I was wrong everyone was wrong he doesn’t like me and now I’ve just destroyed everything why am I so stupid I knew I shouldn’t have done this -_

But then he was next to you, his head resting where his feet had been moments ago. He turned to face you, propping himself up with his elbow and resting his head on his hand. He reached out with his other hand and cupped your cheek, gently turning your head so that you were facing him. Even in the dark you could see the sparkle of his golden eyes. 

“I think you were just about to tell me how amazing I am at kissing?”

The nervousness you had been feeling immediately turned into excitement and happiness because Kei was here, he wasn’t running away this time, he was listening and 

“I thought I said no interrupting!” You playfully scolded. “You’re a fuckhead, you know that?” 

He hummed, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb. With each brush, your stomach did a little flip. “But you just said you loved me. How could you love me if you think I’m a fuckhead?” 

“I guess I’m a masochist or something. I don’t really understand it either.” 

His breath tickled your nose as he laughed. You loved that feeling so much. 

“I’m sorry.” He sounded genuine, despite knowing that you weren’t actually upset. “Please continue. I’m interested to see where this is going.” 

But he didn’t stop stroking your cheek and it was becoming increasingly hard to focus. After attempting and failing to form words a few times, you eventually placed your hand over his and moved it away. “Sorry, that’s a little, um, distracting,” you mumbled. He gave you a very insincere apology (you could see the grin) before he settled on interlacing his fingers with yours and stroking that back of your hand with his thumb. Still distracting, but a little less so. 

“Anyways,” you sounded much more composed this time around, “it’s been really hard with you ignoring me the past few weeks and at first I was really worried that I completely destroyed our friendship. But then I thought about how you told me that I’d leave eventually and see you like everyone else does. So then I realized that I couldn’t let you push me away and prove you right - even though I was never mad at you to begin with - and that’s why I broke into your dorm to leave you stuff. I figured you didn’t want to talk to me, but I just wanted you to know I was there. 

“I _think_ you ignored me because you’re scared of liking me and you don’t want to ruin our friendship, and I get that. I really do. I’ve never lied to myself about loving you but I did always tell myself it was impossible that you’d return any feelings, despite the fact that everyone, even Akiteru I’m pretty sure, tried to tell me otherwise. Because I’m also scared.” 

You squeezed his hand as you felt your composure starting to crack. You tried to ignore the burning you felt behind your eyes and the way your lip trembled as you continued. “Kei, you’re my best friend and I love you so much, and my biggest fear is losing you. But I also know that running from these feelings is just going to be worse in the long run. I mean honestly, I can’t even keep a boyfriend because of you.” 

“Good.” It was quiet and simple, but his voice still caught you completely by surprise. You were about to continue, but suddenly there was an arm underneath you that pulled you forward and you found yourself face first in Kei’s chest. That arm slid up to hold the back of your head, keeping you pressed tightly against him, while his other arm wrapped around your waist and pressed against your lower back. 

“You’ve been talking too much. My turn.” 

You decided, as you listened to Kei’s heartbeat speed up, that you’d allow him to interrupt you once again. 

“I’m really sorry - and keep any jokes about how I never apologize to yourself - about ignoring you. I know that it was wrong, and I know that it hurt you. But I still did it anyways because I’m… me. But you were right. I was afraid of my feelings because I don’t want to ruin what we have. I know I suck at feelings and stuff, but if you were to leave me.. I..” You felt his chest heave as he sighed heavily. 

“Anyways, not talking to you made me miserable. And yes, at first I was doing it because I kept thinking that you’d eventually come to your senses and realize what a dick I am-”

“Oh, I’m under no illusions there, no worries- hey!” He smacked the back of your head. 

“No interrupting.” 

“You interrupted me.. twice…” You grumbled. 

“ _As I was saying_ , I thought that maybe putting some distance between us would be a good thing. But then I came home from practice a few days ago and saw what you left me, and.. I don’t know. I guess I realized then that by trying to protect my own feelings, I was slowly making my worst fear come true. I didn’t want you to leave me, yet I was actively trying to make you.” 

“Hm.. your worst fear? Losing me is even scarier than zombies?” 

“Zombies aren’t real, idiot.” 

“I know.” You nuzzled your face into his chest, wiggling to get as close to him as you could. “I just like hearing you say that. Be careful, you might give me a complex.” 

His chest rumbled as he laughed softly. “You already have a huge head, if it gets any bigger it’ll pop.” 

You pulled your head back to look up at him, hoping he could see your scowl in the dark. You found that he was already looking down on you, that heart melting smile on his lips. He leaned down until his forehead was resting against yours. 

"So. No more pushing you away." He said softly. Your heart soared, happiness filling up every single inch of you until you thought you might explode from the giddiness. 

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, and between the intense happiness you were feeling and the night time cold medicine you had taken, you felt your eyelids growing heavier and heavier. But you almost shot up out of bed when you realized you hadn’t even asked the most important question of all.

“Kei?” 

His response was a sleepy hum.

“So… does this mean you like me?” 

A moment of silence passed, and while you were almost certain you knew his answer, you couldn’t help but feel your stomach twist with anxiety. 

“I love you too, you dumbass.” 

You were pretty sure that in that moment, your heart just stopped working all together. A few noises came out in what was supposed to be words, but instead just sounded like broken grunts. 

_Love?? I was expecting “like” or maybe even “really like”. But LOVE?_

His lips were soft and tender on your forehead as he placed a gentle kiss there. “I want to give you a real kiss, among lots of.. _other_ things. But I am not catching your cold. So this is all you’re getting.” 

You tried to not let your body react at his mention of _other things_ , because you knew what he was implying and it was unfair to put the reminder in your head that in the coming days, weeks, months and (hopefully? Is it too soon to think about this?) years, there would be a lot more of what happened in his dorm after the party.. And then some more. So instead, you closed your eyes and smiled as he continued to pepper your forehead with loving kisses. 

“So,” you whispered when he had stopped attacking your forehead with his lips. “Does this mean that if my head _does_ pop from the complex you’re giving me, you’ll clean my brains up off the floor?” 

“.. You’re disgusting.” 

“Or will you at least think twice now before leaving me to get eaten by zombies?” 

“No.” 

“So mean, Grumpy-Shima.” 

“Will you please just go the fuck to sleep?” 

You allowed a comfortable silence to fall over the room once again before..

“Kei?” 

He groaned as he squeezed your body as tight as he could, almost to the point where it was uncomfortable. “What.” 

“I love you.”

A gentle squeeze and a tender kiss on your forehead.

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!! I did it!!! I didn't go completely out of control this and write a million bazillion words!! I hope you liked it!! (Also, I've never said this but I 100% do not proof-read lol so if you see any mistakes I'm very sorry)
> 
> Though I AM kinda thinking about writing another chapter of pure, post-confession fluff. I tend to end this short stories right after the confessions have been made, but since Tsukishima is my absolutely favorite character I'm really itching to write more cute shit. I don't know though. Thoughts? Opinions? I know this isn't the best or most popular story out there, but I do enjoy writing it so if people want it then who am I to deny them?? ;)


	7. Fluff Chap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-confession fluffiness!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! Is anyone surprised? Cause I'm not! And I'm sure ya'll won't be surprised to learn that I had originally planned to only have one post-confession fluff chapter and just have it be like, a bunch of random snippets what life is like dating Tsukishima. Kinda like several one-shots combined into one chapter? 
> 
> Yeah, that plan already failed. Wrote too much!!! So I won't even try to guess how many more chapters will come after this because I know whatever I say will be a lie. So enjoy!

Fluff Part 1

* * *

“Will you _please_ chill? You’re making me nervous just looking at you.” 

You pulled the finger you had been nibbling on out of your mouth and dropped it in your lap. That wasn’t enough apparently and you felt a strong hand on your knee, forcing your leg to stop bouncing up and down. 

“Sorry,” you said, giving the blond next to you a sheepish smile. He just peered down at you over his glasses, his face as calm as always. 

“I don’t know why you’re anxious. It’s not like this is your first time meeting my family.” 

“But this is my first time seeing them as your _girlfriend_! That’s a big deal!” 

“And that changes things how?” His question wasn’t mocking or condescending, but genuine. Kei really didn’t seem to understand why your relationship status would change anything. 

“I don’t know!” You exclaimed, your voice sounding higher than normal from the added nerves. “Because you’re like.. The prodigy child who is super smart and good at everything, and I have maybe one redeeming quality to match my single brain cell.” 

Kei rolled his eyes as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. “We were in all of the same classes in high school and we go to the same university. By those standards, you’re just as smart as me.” 

Smiling warmly, you linked your arm with Kei’s and rested your head against him. Sometimes your favorite compliments from him were the ones that weren’t even meant to be cute. “I guess you’re not wrong there.” 

“My family loves you.” He leaned down as his voice got softer. “Besides, you have plenty of redeeming qualities. One particular favorite of mine is how cute you sound when you moan my na-” 

You slapped your hand over his mouth so quickly that you were a little afraid the other people on the train would think you were actually abusing him. You felt his breath exhale from his nose as he laughed against your palm. 

“Seriously?” You whisper-yelled. You dropped your hand from his mouth, revealing the cheeky grin that he was sporting. “You’re awful.” You pulled your arm away from his and turned your head away from him, glaring out the window. 

“Really? That’s not what you tell me when I’m going down on-” 

You whipped your head around to face him. “I will destroy you, Four-Eyes.” 

“Ooh, that sounds hot. You promise?” 

His eyes bore into yours, almost like a challenge. You tried your hardest to maintain eye contact and keep your composure, but you lasted maybe five seconds before you were snorting as you tried to hold back the laughter. He followed shortly after and suddenly the two of you were covering your faces with your hands as you tried to calm down. 

After the two of you got yourselves back under control, the rest of the train ride was spent in a comfortable silence. You rested your head back onto Kei’s shoulder and he slipped his hand into yours, occasionally giving it a comforting squeeze or tapping out a beat on your skin. Like always, he managed to calm you down and make you feel better in his own special way. 

It was just one of the many reasons why you were head over heels for him. 

The train station wasn’t a far walk from Kei’s house, so once the train came to a stop at your destination the two of you departed and set off on foot. It had been awhile since you had come back to your hometown, and you found that being surrounded by familiar buildings and surroundings really helped keep your nerves at bay. 

Of course you knew it was silly to be nervous because, like Kei had pointed out, it wasn’t your first time meeting his family. In fact, you probably spent as much time at his house in high school as you had at your own home. You knew that his mom would greet you with a warm smile and hug like she always did, and his dad would squeeze your shoulder fondly like he always did. You knew that.

But there was just something about the fact that you were now _dating_ Kei that made you feel like going over to his house was a much bigger deal than it had been before. Like maybe his parents would now hold you to much higher standards and what if you didn’t meet those standards? What if they liked you being friends with their son, but thought he could do much better when it came to dating? You had no idea what would happen if they didn’t approve of your relationship. Would they want you guys to break up? Would Kei realize that they were right, and that he could do better, and break up with you? Your stomach dropped at the thought of that. 

_“Sorry,”_ You could hear him saying in your mind. _“But my parents think I can do better and honestly, so do I. We tried out the whole dating thing and I just don’t think it’s working anymore.”_ You could picture the cold, indifferent expression that he would wear as he completely shattered your heart into a million pieces. You could see him turning to leave you, not even bothering to give you a second look as he walked away. You could- 

“We’re here.” His voice brought you back to reality, where he was holding your hand comfortingly and not walking away after destroying you emotionally. You looked up at him, your eyes wide and worried. 

“Please don’t dump me if your family doesn’t approve. I don’t think I could handle it.” 

“What?” Kei’s mouth opened slightly as he looked at you with his brows furrowed. 

You chewed on your bottom lip and dropped your gaze to the ground. “Just.. please tell me you won’t.” Your voice was quiet. You _knew_ it was stupid, that you were completely freaking out over nothing. But you really just wanted reassurance. 

He cupped your chin and lifted it gently, bringing your face up to his. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “I don’t know why in the world you think I care that much about what my parents think but,” he leaned down a bit more so his eyes met yours, “I promise I won’t break up with you.” His voice was gentle and he caressed your cheek softly before pressing his lips against yours again. 

This was a side of Kei that you were still learning about, not that you were complaining one bit. It wasn’t that you thought that he was incapable of being soft and sweet, because he had shown you several times over the years that he _is_ capable, but before his kindness was usually shown differently; a compliment in a snarky tone of voice, a sarcastic remark, an eye roll when you said something negative about yourself, and so on. But since the two of you had started dating, the mask he had put on started to crack. That’s not to say he still didn’t do those things, because he did, but you found that Kei really had an affectionate side to him; short and sweet kisses on the lips and forehead, gentle caresses that gave you butterflies each and every time, tight hugs, and a soft voice that held more emotion than his face could ever show. 

Soft Tsukishima Kei was quickly becoming your favorite, and knowing that you were the only person who got to experience it definitely put you on Cloud Nine. 

“Yeah mom, they’re here! They’re just making out on the porch!” 

The familiar voice caused you and Kei to jump away from each other immediately, each of you sporting a nice blush on your cheeks. And there in the doorway, Akiteru stood with an impossibly large smile on his face. 

Your embarrassment quickly faded, replaced with excitement. “Akiteru! I didn’t know you were coming tonight!” 

He nodded as he stepped aside, allowing you and Kei to walk into the house.

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss a chance to remind my brother which Tsukishima your heart _really_ belongs too,” he winked, causing Kei to roll his eyes. “Also, I had something to give my precious baby brother.”

Kei finished slipping off his shoes and stood up straight, eying his brother apprehensively. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, come here!” Akiteru motioned for Kei to move towards him, opening his arms wide. When Kei got close enough, Akiteru put an arm around his shoulders but instead of pulling him in for a hug, an alarmingly loud _thwack_ was heard as Akiteru’s hand connected with the back of Kei’s head. 

“Akiteru, what the hell?” Kei shouted angrily, stepping away from his brother as he rubbed his head where it had been hit. You just stared, slack-jawed, trying to register what just happened.

“That’s for being an idiot and putting your girlfriend through hell before finally accepting your feelings.” 

You snorted, trying your hardest to not laugh and upset your boyfriend. Kei just scoffed, but didn’t try to argue. You figured that he accepted his brother’s reasoning and the punishment that came along with it. 

“Akiteru, no hitting your brother in front of the guest!” Their mother appeared behind the boys, a disapproving look on her face. 

“Mom, that sentence was five words too long,” Kei grumbled bitterly. She ignored the comment as she pulled the blond into a hug. 

“It’s been so long! We’re so happy you were able to come tonight. Your father is out right now picking up some things for dinner.” She pulled away and looked her youngest son up and down. “Have you gotten taller? I swear you never stop growing.” 

And then she turned to you, her smile so bright it could seriously rival the sun. You returned it and stepped into her arms when she held them out for you. You weren’t prepared for her iron grip though, and you grunted as you felt the breath being squeezed right out of you.

“Finally! I’ve been waiting for this day since the first time you stepped foot into this house! Which reminds me,” she stepped back and pointed at Akiteru. “You and your father both owe me 6000 yen. Don’t think I forgot.”

Akiteru’s face fell at the same time his brother’s flushed. 

“What?” Kei asked, his voice sounding a little strained. He looked back and forth between his brother and his mom as he waited for an answer. 

“We had a bet,” Akiteru finally said. “On how long it would take for you guys to get together. Mom said it would happen sometime during university, I said sometime after you graduated, and dad..” He chuckled before continuing. “Dad said it wouldn’t happen until she was about to exchange vows with some other guy.” 

Kei sputtered, his face turning an even deeper shade of red. You didn’t bother holding back the laughter this time, hunching over with your hands on your knees as you laughed until your vision became blurry with tears.

“I seriously can’t believe this family,” Kei finally managed to get out before walking into the kitchen. You heard a cupboard open and then, moments later, slam shut. 

“Think of it this way honey, I’m the one that had the most faith in you!” His mom shouted after him, still laughing. Turning back to you, she pulled you into another hug. 

“Really though. We couldn’t be more happy. You’ve always brought out the best in Kei and it has always been painfully obvious how happy you make him. You weren’t very good at pretending either,” she said with a wink. 

Kei had been right, like he always was. His family was beyond thrilled that the two of you had finally gotten together (“I’m not even that upset I lost the bet!” His dad had said after he returned from the store, reigniting the annoyance in Kei, who had _just_ managed to calm down) and nobody was holding you to impossibly high standards. They just wanted whatever made their son happy and they made sure to tell you several times over the course of dinner that _you_ were what made their son happy. By the time you were washing the dishes with his mom, while Kei and Akiteru cleaned the table and swept the floor, you couldn’t believe that you had even been nervous in the first place. 

“So, how did he ask you to be his girlfriend?” His mom asked casually as she passed you a plate to dry. You froze, and you didn’t need to see him to know that behind you, Kei had frozen as well. 

“Uh, well,” You started, unsure of how to answer the question. You looked over your shoulder to signal for help from Kei, but you found that he was very fascinated on the the tile all of the sudden 

“What?” His mom asked, stopping what she was doing to look at you. She definitely noticed the change in both you and your boyfriend. Then it seemed to click in her head and she put her hand on her hip before giving her son a disapproving look. “Don’t tell me you never asked her to be your girlfriend.” 

But that was exactly it. He never had. The two of you had just naturally assumed that after confessing your feelings and falling asleep tangled up together that you were together. There had been no formal “Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?” asked. 

Kei shrugged, refusing to look at his mother. “It just kinda.. happened.” 

Akiteru snorted loudly, hiding his amusement behind the rag he had been using to clean the table. Kei immediately glared at him, but that only made Akiteru laugh harder. 

His mother scoffed, turning back to the dishes. “I could have sworn I raised you better than that,” she tutted. 

“It’s okay! I never asked him to be my boyfriend either, so I’m equally at fault here,” you said, hoping to make Kei feel at least a little bit better. But his mother just sighed and shook her head. You gave Kei an apologetic look and mouthed an apology before turning around and continuing your job. Behind you, you heard a _thump_ and an angrily whispered “Ow!”, and you had to bite your lip to keep from laughing when you realized that it had come from Akiteru. 

Dessert was eaten in the living room in front of a movie that you had a hard time focusing on because underneath the blanket that you and Kei shared, the blond’s hand gently stroked your thigh. When you tried to send him a pointed glare to tell him to back off, he just gave you that mischievous grin that said “I will absolutely not be stopping anytime soon” and let his hand travel even higher. It wasn’t until you returned the favor - except you were much more direct and simply just placed your hand right over his dick and gave it a gentle squeeze - that he withdrew his hand and kept it to himself for the rest of the movie. 

Once it was over, it was only you, Kei, and Akiteru left in the living room. Their parents had retired to bed before the movie was even halfway over, telling you and Kei that it didn’t matter if you slept in the same room together (“Kei doesn’t have a roommate at University and I’m not an idiot,” his mother had said) before leaving. Akiteru had gotten a lot of enjoyment out of seeing Kei squirm from the awkwardness of that comment. 

“So,” Akiteru said as he scrolled through the television channels mindlessly. “How did you guys get together if neither of you asked the other out?” 

“She blurted out that she loved me one night after we finished watching a zombie movie,” Kei stated, making it sound like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“Yeah, okay,” Akiteru laughed. It was clear by his tone that he didn’t believe his brother. “How did it really happen?” He asked, turning to you. You groaned, running your hand over your face. 

“Exactly like Kei said it did,” you mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up. The more you thought about it, the more stupid you felt. 

Akiteru sat up straight, his eyebrows shooting up. “Really? That’s… nice.” 

But from the grimace on his face, you knew that he did not think it was nice. 

“I was sick and the nighttime cold medicine I took had started kicking in!” You tried to make it not sound so pathetic. “I wasn’t thinking the clearest.”

“Yeah, but then you started talking about how _great_ I am at kissing-”

“Kei! There are some details that don’t need to be mentioned,” you elbowed him, hoping to shut him up. Akiteru was definitely interested now, the remote hanging limply in his hand. 

“Akiteru said he wanted to know, it’d be rude to leave out any details.” You hated that his stupid smug smile only made you want to kiss him, which you absolutely could not do. 

“Okay then, should we tell him about how you told me that if the zombie apocalypse happens, you’d use me as bait so you could escape if you needed to?” 

Your boyfriend scoffed. “Let’s be honest, you’d be the first to get bitten anyways. So it doesn’t matter.” 

You gave him an incredulous look. “Me? You’re the one who thinks the safest place to be during the zombie apocalypse is a city! You’d get bitten way before me!” 

He shook his head. “No, because I’m _smart_. If you don’t get bit first, you’d definitely starve to death out in the country.” 

“You know what? If the zombie apocalypse actually happens, you better find a different person to use for bait because I’d leave your ass so quickly. I’ll take my chances alone.” 

“Okay, but don’t come crying back to me when you realize you have no idea how to grow crops and your animals starve to death. I’ll have no sympathy.” 

You stuck your tongue out at him, to which he responded by flicking your nose. Akiteru watched the whole thing, the smile on his face steadily growing wider all the while. As you and Kei stared at each other, neither wanting to lose the argument by looking away first, Akiteru laughed and stood up. 

“I have no idea how you guys made it this long without getting together. You’re so in love it’s gross.” The end of his sentence was followed by a large yawn. “Fuck, getting old sucks. Well, I’m going to bed. Night guys.” He waved over his shoulder and walked over to the stairs. His foot landed on the first step before he stopped and slowly turned to look back at you and Kei. He gave you two a deadly smile that sent shivers down your spine. 

“Please keep in mind that these walls are very thin and that my room is right next to yours, Kei. If I hear a single suspicious noise or anything that even _remotely_ sounds like skin-on-skin contact, I will kick your ass so badly that you’ll be crying out _my_ name.” And with that, he turned back around and disappeared up the stairs. 

You slowly turned to Kei, who was rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses, and nodded. “Okay then.” 

“I don’t have the heart to tell him that I’ve definitely heard some very questionable things coming from his room several times. I’m just a good brother and keep that shit to myself.” 

You reached up and ruffled his hair. “I’ll make sure to nominate you for Brother of the Year.” 

“Oh goodie,” he deadpanned as he stood up and stretched. Then he reached out and pulled you up and off the couch. “Well, I better get Boyfriend of the Year as well because I’m gonna to let you shower first. So get going,” he smacked your butt lightly for emphasis. You wagged your finger at him.

”Uh uh. It’s come to my attention that we aren’t officially dating. So unfortunately, you don’t meet the qualifications for that award.” You smiled sweetly as you hurried up the stairs and into the bathroom, leaving him to stare after you. 

As you laid in Kei’s bed after your shower, you swore that you were the most content that you had ever been. Everything around you smelled like your boyfriend, including yourself since you used his products to wash your hair and body, and your pajamas consisted of Kei’s old shirt and a pair of his boxers. You thought that if Heaven did exist, this was it. 

_If I were to die right now, I would want to be buried exactly as I am right now._

But just as you were thinking that it couldn’t get any better, Kei walked into the room wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. And unlike the last time you had seen him right after a shower, the day of the party that had changed everything, you didn’t even try to pretend you weren’t staring. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Kei joked as he dried his hair with a towel. 

“Oh, that’s a perfect idea!” You exclaimed, reaching for your phone. He immediately threw the towel at you, trying to slow you down, but when it didn’t work he lunged for you, hoping to stop you before you followed his suggestion. Your hand was around the phone first, but before you could even unlock it, Kei was right next to you trying to pry the phone out of your grip. 

But alas, he was a collegiate athlete so it didn’t take him very long to roll on top of you and pin your hands above your head with one of his hands, using the other hand to snatch your phone. He placed it on his bedside table, well out of your reach. 

“What? You suggested it,” you pouted, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. “It’s not my fault you’re attractive.” 

You could tell that he was trying to look serious, but his composure broke as his lips pulled up into a smile. 

“Be careful, you’ll give me a complex.” His voice was high-pitched and mocking as he repeated the words you had said to him the night you confessed. You scoffed. 

“My ego is but a tiny speck compared to your Titan-sized one.” 

Instead of replying, he leaned down and kissed the pout right off of your lips. You made a mental note to pout more often as he bit down on your bottom lip gently, something he knew drove you crazy. You ran your tongue against his lips, hoping to deepen the kiss, but to your disappointment, he pulled away. 

“Rude,” you mumbled, frowning up at him. He leaned down to peck your lips quickly before climbing off of you and sitting cross-legged on the bed. He grabbed the towel and continued to dry his hair. You shifted to your side, picking up the staring right where you left off. 

_He is just so.. gorgeous. I can’t think of a word that describes him better. He’s perfect. I am so lucky._

“Okay, now I’m starting to think it would have been less creepy to just let you take the picture,” he huffed. You hummed in agreement, sitting up and scooting over so you were next to him. 

You grabbed his face and turned his head so that he was facing you. You said nothing as you looked at him, admiring his flawless skin (seriously, you needed to get his skincare routine), his gorgeous amber eyes, and his perfectly plump lips, which were a little pink from the kiss he had given you earlier. 

You also watched with awe as his cheeks turned pink underneath your palms. He averted his gaze, looking at the floor. 

“I feel like I’m being scrutinized under a microscope,” he muttered. 

“You’re honestly gorgeous, Kei.” 

He looked back up at you. “Gorgeous?” 

You smiled softly and nodded. “And I don’t know how it’s possible, but you look even cuter without glasses on.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Funny, I was _just_ thinking about how you looked cuter when I _don’t_ have my glasses on!” 

You playfully smacked his cheek and he grinned, bringing his hands up to cover yours. He grabbed them and pulled them away from his face, then turned them around so that his palms slid against yours and his fingers could intertwine with yours.

“I was just about to tell you that I was thinking about how lucky I feel to be with you, but now I’m not gonna,” you said childishly. 

“But, you just told me?” 

You took advantage of your interlocked hands and pushed forward, causing him to rock backwards. But he quickly used this to his advantage and yanked you towards him and the two of you fell back together. You landed on top of him, and he wasted no time wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you to him tightly. 

“You’re a jerk,” you said into his chest. He just squeezed you tightly once and said “I know.” 

The two of you laid like that for a few minutes, but you were not complaining at all. You loved laying against his chest because not only did hold you to him, but you got to listen to his heartbeat. 

“If anyone’s lucky in this relationship, it’s me.” Kei’s soft voice broke the silence. You shook your head, humming a “nuh uh”. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to man up and tell you how I felt,” he continued. 

“Technically, I told you first,” you pointed out. 

“I was going to confess soon anyways. If you hadn’t.” 

Surprised, you popped up, propping yourself up on your elbows so that you could look at him. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “At that point I pretty much knew you returned the feelings. I wasn’t surprised by your confession. I mean, I was a little surprised at how sudden it was, but I wasn’t too surprised to hear it.” 

“When did you know?” You were curious to see how well you managed to hide your feelings. 

“Hm.. I think I started to catch on towards the end of our second year of high school. When you witnessed a girl confessing to me and you got so mad because you thought I said yes. You wouldn’t even talk to me so I could tell you that I turned her down.” He laughed at the memory, and grinned down at you. 

“Oh yeah, I remember that! Tadashi was the mediator, and told me that you turned her down after I sent him a dramatic message saying I hoped you lived a happy life with that… not nice word.” You pondered that for a minute before shaking your head. “Wow yeah, that was a pretty big indicator. I really don’t know how you didn’t catch on.” 

“Well, it’s not like that was the first confession I’ve ever gotten. I thought you had just been in a bad mood that day.” 

“You did get a lot of confessions,” you agreed. “You were a heartthrob. All of the girls wanted you, cranky personality and all. Yet you picked me.” You said the last part quietly, almost as if you didn’t really believe it. And to be honest, you sometimes didn’t believe it. 

“And yet I picked you,” he repeated, giving you a gentle squeeze as he said it. “And I will always pick you. Every time.” 

In that moment, you felt so overwhelmed with love for the blond that you genuinely thought you might start crying. So to keep yourself from doing that, you shuffled forward so that you could properly press your face into the crook of his neck. 

“Why didn’t you warn me that underneath all of your glares and rude comments, there’s a big softy that can melt me into a puddle with just a few words?”

“I had to make the wait worth your while, didn’t I? A reward for your patience while I figured my shit out.” 

“If I had gotten this Kei more often, I would have jumped you back in high school, ready or not,” you joked. It wasn’t a lie though. If he had shown you this side of him earlier, there would have been no way you could have resisted for as long as you did. 

“Mm, I would have been okay with that probably.” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. 

“Well, soft Kei or no, I still love you just the same. I fell in love with Cranky-shima, after all.” 

“Well, then think of it as a bonus. Though I guess I could stop-”

“Don’t you dare,” you growled. “You’ve given me a taste of it and now I’m going to be thirsty for it for the rest of my life.” 

“Are you sure you’re not a vampire?” 

You groaned. “No more supernatural stuff. Zombies are enough as it is.” 

He laughed softly, reminding you once again that his laugh is easily your favorite sound. 

“Though, my roommate did call you a vampire that ‘put Dracula’ to shame.” 

“What? Why?” 

“You didn’t see it because you were _avoiding_ me-”

“How many times do I have to apologize for that?”

“Until we’re old and wrinkly. Anyways, the day after the party my neck was… awful. You left so many hickies, it looked like I had been attacked.”“I have no regrets, just so you know.” He sounded way too proud of himself and you just _knew_ he was grinning smugly. 

“Well yeah, you weren’t the one that had to wear a scarf everyday for the next week,” you grumbled. 

“Hmm, you sound like you want some more. Want me to indulge you?” You felt him start to shift and you immediately slapped your hand over your neck protectively. 

“Don’t even think about it. If your family were to see me with a hickey on my neck I would absolutely die right then and there.” 

He sighed, laying his head back down. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair.” There was a pause. “So when we get back tomorrow, then.”

“.. Kei, that wasn’t a question.” 

“I’m aware.” 

You groaned. “Why am I dating you again?” 

“Well if I remember correctly, you said we aren’t dating. So I guess that makes us fuck buddies.” 

“That are in love? And cuddle together? And do everything that couples do?” 

You felt him shrug. “To each their own, I guess.” 

“Fine.”

A few moments of silence passed before you decided to just get it over with. 

“Fine then, since you won’t do it. Kei, will you be my boyf-” You were cut off as his hand covered your mouth. 

“Will you _pretty please,_ with cherries on top, be my girlfriend?” 

You couldn’t answer because his hand was still covering your mouth, so instead you just licked his palm. He pulled it back quickly before wiping your spit on the back of your shirt. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

You propped yourself back up so you could look at him again. His eyes were sparkling brightly and the boyish grin on his lips made your heart skip a beat. 

_I really am so fucking lucky._

“Only because you said pretty please,” you teased, leaning down to brush your nose against affectionately. 

“Good, cause I didn’t really have a backup plan if you turned me down. I mean, I _guess_ I could reach out to that girl from high school-” 

You gasped and pulled back, narrowing your eyes. “You wouldn’t.” 

Kei pretended to think hard. “I’m pretty sure she was one of Tadashi’s friends, I’m sure I could ask him for her number..” 

“Fine,” you huffed. “I hope you have a nice life with her.” 

You started to move away, but before you could, Kei’s hand was on the back of your head and pulling you to him. He caught your lips with his, and you could feel small vibrations as he laughed while kissing you. You couldn’t help but smile against him, enjoying his playfulness. 

You pulled away and shook your head. “Mm, I don’t think that was convincing enough.” 

He rolled his eyes, still grinning, and pulled you back to him. But instead of a passionate kiss, he planted several quick and sloppy kisses all over your face. You squealed and wiggled, trying to pull out of his grip. But again, because of the whole collegiate athlete thing, it was to no avail. He held you firmly in place and continued to assault your face with his lips. 

“Kei!” You could hardly speak between the laughs and his lips cutting you off. “Stop!” 

But he wouldn’t. In fact, he didn’t stop until the sound of the door opening scared the shit out of both of you. You both shot up and scrambled away from each other, eyes wide and terrified. 

Akiteru stood in the doorway, arms crossed and a seriously angry look on his face. 

“Kei, I didn’t know you were capable of acting like this and honestly, it’s starting to creep me out. I’m more uncomfortable seeing you act like this than I would be if I had just heard the two of you fucking.” 

You immediately turned red and Kei threw a pillow at his brother. The angry look on his face melted away as he laughed and dodged it. 

“This is your one and only warning. Go to sleep, ya creeps.” He did the “I’m watching you gesture” a few times, causing Kei to roll his eyes. But while Akiteru tried to sound serious, the warm smile on his face, as well as the look in his eyes, told you that he was happy for his younger brother. He would never tell him to his face, but he was happy that Kei was happy. 

As he left, Akiteru flicked off the light, leaving you and Kei in the darkness. And after the two of you had shifted into your normal sleeping position - your back pressed tightly into his chest with one of his arms wrapped around your waist and his face pressed against the top of your head - you found yourself thinking the same thought that you had probably thought at least a million times that day alone. 

_I really am so fucking lucky._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was too fun to write :) Hopefully ya'll don't care about more because I'm enjoying this far too much and have some more cute ideas!


	8. Last Fluff!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter!! The idea was bouncing around in my head and wouldn’t leave me alone until I got it out in a word doc. So I hope you enjoy! Also, I wrote almost the entire thing on my phone because I was genuinely just too lazy to get my computer. So if you see any errors, blame autocorrect.

Another Fluff Extra!

* * *

“Ahh, I love the smell of hot, sweaty boys in the morning!” 

You stopped walking, turning to give your roommate, Hina, a disgusted look. She grinned and winked, clearly not at all bothered by your judgement. You just shook your head and kept walking.

“Remind me why I brought you along again?” You muttered more to yourself, but Hina heard you and slung her arm around your shoulders. 

“Because you didn’t want to come alone AND because you’re going to hook me up with a cute volleyball boy after this!” 

You shook your head. “I don’t remember ever agreeing to that.” 

“Well, I’m here so _pleaseeee?_ ” She stuck her lip out in a pout, then started to lean heavily into your side. You were caught off guard and stumbled to the side, almost falling over before Hina grabbed your arm and yanked you back upright. 

“Alright, alright, Jesus. Just try to keep it in your pants, okay?” You finally agreed, just to get your friend to stop being annoying. Hina threw her fist in the air triumphantly and strutted away, humming merrily as she did so. 

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” You sighed heavily as you followed after her.

The sound of shoes squeaking loudly, men grunting and calling out to one another, and volleyballs being smacked against skin and the floor met you as you walked into the gym. Both teams were already on the court warming up, and you had to stop for a moment just to admire the sight of it. You loved Kei, and you only had eyes for him, but you couldn’t deny that here was something insanely attractive about watching fit guys slam a ball into the ground. 

And you were definitely the luckiest person in the entire world because, as fate would have it, you got to watch the person you were most attracted to do just that. You quietly thanked whatever god was up above for blessing you as the two of you found seats. You sat towards the front, giving you a good view of the team you had come to support. 

Thanks to his height, and the fact that he was actually an extremely talented blocker now that he had started putting in serious effort, Kei had managed to snag a spot as a starter. So he was one of the players on the court, running through some type of warm-up drill with a partner. You watched him intensely, taking immense pleasure in the way he hiked up his shorts before he squatted down to prepare for a receive, how powerful his thighs looked when he pushed off the ground to jump, the way the muscles in his arms flexed beautifully as he set the ball for his partner, and the look of pure concentration written on his face throughout it all. 

_Beautiful. Perfect. Amazing. Astounding. Breathtaking. Phenomenal. There aren’t enough words in the dictionary to describe him._

A hard smack on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts and forced you to drag your eyes away from your boyfriend. You glared at the attacker. 

“You are an awful friend,” Hina said, looking extremely serious. “How dare you keep this all to yourself.” She grabbed your shirt and shook you violently. “Why didn’t you ever tell me how attractive volleyball players are!” 

“H-hey!” You exclaimed, trying to pry her hands off of you. “Will you knock it off?!” 

She eventually let go of your shirt, but crossed her arms and huffed loudly. “You just want them all for yourself, huh? Well, you got your own so now it’s my turn!” 

You rolled your eyes. “You’re assuming they’d even be interested in someone as annoying as you.” 

“Rude!” She stuck her tongue out dramatically, causing you to laugh. Then she turned her gaze back to the court and pointed at something. “What about that one? He could spike a ball right into my face and I would thank him.” 

You followed where she was pointing, and your eyebrows shot up when you realized who she was talking about. Kuroo was standing on the sidelines, drinking from a water bottle while someone - the coach, you assumed - was talking to him in a very animated fashion, his hands moving quickly and erratically. You had to refrain from letting out a loud cackle.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t think..” You started. Hina’s face fell when she realized what direction this was going in.

“Is he already dating someone?” 

You nodded, still biting back the laughter. “Yeah, he’s been dating his boyfriend for the past three years. And from what Kei has told me, they’re childhood best friends turned lovers, so I don’t think you’ll be able to get in between the two of them.” 

She sighed and dropped her head into her hand, dejected. “Why are the hot ones always taken?” 

You patted her head reassuringly. “Cheer up! Check out the libero, the number six over there. He’s pretty cute!” 

Hina perked up, Kuroo already a thing of the past. “You’re right, he’s very fine!” She turned to you, her lip stuck out in a pout like earlier. “Please make Kei introduce me to him after the game. Please, please, pleaseeeeeeeee!” 

You pushed her head away from you with your pointer finger. “I make no promises. But I’ll try.” 

She squealed and clapped, bouncing around in her seat. Then she leaned forward and focused all of her attention on the poor, unsuspecting libero she had decided to pour her love into. “So what exactly does the libero do?” 

“Uh, I’m not sure exactly but I know that their main job is to make sure that the ball doesn’t hit the ground no matter what.” Despite being in love with a volleyball player for so long, you really didn’t know that much about the game. Until your final year of high school, Kei had all but begged you to never go to any of his games. You respected his wishes, so you didn’t have a lot of experience watching the game. You only knew what you had picked up in the past year, when Kei finally allowed you to come support him. The only reason you even knew that guy was the libero was because his jersey was a different color than the rest of the team. 

“Isn’t that.. everyone’s job?” Hina asked, looking genuinely confused. 

“Yes but I’m pretty sure the libero is supposed to _only_ worry about that. Like, they’re restricted to being a back row player and they’re not able to attack the ball once it’s above the net. So it’s almost impossible for them to score. So they focus on making sure the ball stays in play so that the other players can focus on scoring points.” 

She nodded slowly. “Sounds like an intense position.. That’s so attractive, oh my god, I’m in love!!!” 

You just shrugged. “I think middle blockers are much more attractive.” 

She scowled. “Go somewhere else with your gross romance. Today is my day!” 

You laughed again, shoving her playfully with your shoulder. She returned the favor, and suddenly the two of you were engaged in a battle to see who would give up first. It wasn’t until you saw the teams lining up their starting players that the two of you finally stopped and sat normally.

“Oh good, we made it just in time! The game is just about to start.” You heard the shrill, unfamiliar voice just before you felt something smack you right in the back of the head. Jolting forward, you twisted around to see what had just hit you. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you with my purse!” The owner of said purse was looking at you with an expression that made you feel like she really wasn’t that sorry to have hit you. She gave you a half-assed smile and then took a seat in the spot directly behind you. The girl with her took a seat on her other side, directly behind Hina. They looked at each other and giggled, and for some reason that really annoyed you. You held back the desire to make a snarky comment and turned back to the front. 

_It’s not worth it, just ignore them._

Over the speakers, an energetic voice started to announce the starting players of the opposing team. You watched as they each ran out onto the court to their spot, a handful of people in the crowd cheering after each name. They looked somewhat intimidating, but you couldn’t help but think the Sendai Frogs looked even scarier. 

“It’s that one over there! Isn’t he gorgeous? I’ve been coming to these games to watch him all season!!” 

“Wow, yeah you weren’t kidding. I would climb him like a tree!” 

“Yeah, well he’s certainly tall enough! But back off, he’s mine!” 

Purse Girl and her friend talked loudly behind you, not even bothering to lower their voices despite the fact that they were right next to each other. You and Hina shared an annoyed look, and you prayed they’d either shut up or go sit somewhere else. 

But your annoyance was temporarily forgotten when it was time for the starters from Sendai to run out onto the court. You fixed your eyes on Kei, who was standing in the middle of the line and fidgeting with the tape on his fingers, something you knew he did when he felt nervous. But even from your spot in the stands, you could see the look of determination and focus on his face. 

Kuroo’s name was announced before Kei’s, and you made sure to cheer extra loud as he ran to his spot. As if he could pick your cheer out of the rest of the crowd, he looked up into the stands and grinned when he found you. You gave him two thumbs up and waved your hands around, but stopped suddenly when Hina elbowed you in the side. 

“You’re embarrassing!” She hissed. “What if my future husband looks up here and sees you looking like an idiot and then sees me next to you??” 

You just waved her off. “You don’t even know your future husband’s name.” 

“And I never will if he thinks I’m some crazy person by association with you!!” 

“If he thinks I’m crazy because he sees me cheering on his teammate then he’s boring and I won’t approve of the relationship.” 

Hina considered that for a moment before nodding. “Okay yeah, I guess you have a point.” 

Behind you, Purse Girl squealed loudly, causing you to internally wince. “He’s up next!” 

Looking back at the court, to see who Purse Girl could possibly be so excited about, you immediately froze.

Up next was Kei. 

Hina seemed to realize the same thing. Her mouth opened slightly as she grinned and she looked over at you, her eyes wide with an “Oh shit” expression on her face. 

So she was that excited over Kei. Over your boyfriend. 

You knew it was irrational to feel jealous. After all, you were the one he was dating and she was a complete stranger. But you could help but feel just a tad bit territorial as you listened to another girl freak out over your boyfriend. 

You thought about saying something to completely crush her dreams, but ultimately decided to hold your tongue. You were interested to see what else you’d overhear throughout the game. Giving Hina a small shake of your head, to discourage her from saying anything either, you clapped loudly as your boyfriend’s name and position were announced. 

You weren’t even bothered by the excessive yelling and cheering coming from Purse Girl as you watched Kei jog to his position behind the net. There was no room for annoyance in you, as your heart was overflowing with love and pride for the blond. This was his element, and you absolutely loved getting to watch him play. And again, it didn’t hurt that he looked fine as hell playing it. 

Kei was positioned next to Kuroo, who slapped your boyfriend on the back enthusiastically in an attempt to get him fired up. He then said something that caused Kei’s head to raise to the stands and scan the crowd. 

When his amber eyes met yours, you just gave him a big smile. You knew that he would absolutely hate it if you acted as obnoxious as you had when cheering for Kuroo, so you did nothing that would draw attention to yourself or him. Kei was someone who appreciated quiet support, and he knew that after the game he would get endless praise and kisses from you. Something he said he appreciated much more. 

To your surprise, Kei grinned at you and raised his hand ever so slightly in a small wave. Nothing grand, and if someone hadn’t been watching him closely then they wouldn’t have even noticed it. So of course, directly behind you, Purse Girl started freaking out. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!! Did you see that?? He totally waved and smiled at me!” 

“He really did!!” 

“Maybe he recognizes me from all of the other games I’ve come to!! I can’t believe it, he actually noticed me!”

Next to you, Hina’s face was in her hands and her whole body was quivering from laughter. You could hear her wheezing as she worked hard to stay as quiet as possible. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, feeling the laughter bubbling up in your own gut. You nudged your knee against hers, as if to say “stop it”, but you couldn’t help but snort when she lifted her face and you saw how red it was. 

_I almost feel bad for that girl.. maybe I should say something…_

But you never got the chance, as the whistle rang out and signaled the start of the game. And right off the bat, you knew this was going to be an intense match. The girl behind you wasn’t important, but the blond on the court deserved your undivided attention and silent support. 

As much as you tried to focus on the game, you were really starting to get annoyed as the girl behind you constantly talked about Kei and how _amazing_ and _handsome_ he was. You weren’t disagreeing, of course, but only you were allowed to think those things. 

He certainly was amazing, which you thought to yourself countless times as you watched him play. Not only was he tall and powerful physically, but his mind was insane as well. You could almost see the gears turning in his head as he watched the other team, analyzing and predicting their movements in order to make the best move himself. And if he didn’t completely shut out an attack, he usually was able to at least one touch the ball to slow it down. 

Your favorite part about watching him was after he scored a point, when he would try his hardest to look indifferent but you could see the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. And he would look up into the stands and make eye contact with you, almost like he was checking to make sure you were watching. He wanted to see your smile, the one that he knew was only for him. And since you never took your eyes off of the blond while he was on the court, whenever he looked up at you for validation you made sure to give it. And each time, it made your heart flutter. 

You were never particularly known for your patience, and it was certainly starting to run thin. You had put up with listening to Purse Girl swoon over your boyfriend almost the entire game. She had gotten excited each time Kei looked up at you, thinking that he was actually looking at her. And she had even started making comments about specific body parts that were just really starting to make you uncomfortable. 

“Look at his hands. Ugh, they’re so big.” 

“I bet since he has big hands.. well, you know what they say about big hands.”

“I wouldn’t mind being crushed between his thighs. I mean damn.”

Your hand kept clenching tighter and tighter as time went on, and Hina kept glancing over at you to make sure you didn’t completely snap. At one point she silently offered to say something, but due to you _really_ hating confrontation, you turned her down. The game was nearly over so you just had to deal with it for a bit longer.. 

But of course, you reached a tipping point shortly after declining Hina’s offer. Strangely enough, out of all of the comments Purse Girl had made, the one that completely pushed you over the edge had been relatively innocent. 

Kei had just been subbed out of the game as was drinking greedily from his water bottle. Once he finished, you watched in delight as he lifted the bottle up above his head and poured some water over himself, getting his hair and face wet. You had to admit, the sight of him hot and sweaty and pouring water over his head was definitely… _exciting_ to you. But the icing on top of the cake was when he lifted up the bottom of his jersey and brought the fabric up to wipe the water and sweat off his face. By doing this, he left a good amount of his nicely toned abdomen exposed to the world and it practically screamed “look at me!!”. You couldn’t help but squirm slightly in your seat, crossing your legs tightly and making a mental note to yell at him later for torturing you like that. 

“Oh my god, his body is just _so sexy!”_ Purse Girl squealed. 

And something inside of you just snapped. Something about the fact that she had been watching him, that she was taking so much pleasure in seeing _your_ boyfriend’s exposed skin, just completely did it. It didn’t make any sense, considering she had made worse comments, but at that point you were just done. 

Whipping your head around, you tried your best to give her your sweetest smile. You were positive that it looked deadly and threatening though. “Excuse me. The guy you’ve been drooling over the entire game happens to be my boyfriend and I’d really appreciate it if you stopped talking about him like that.” 

Purse Girl’s eyes widened briefly before her face scrunched up in disbelief. “Someone like _him?_ Dating someone like _you?_ Yeah I don’t believe that.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Hina stepped in before you could respond.

Purse Girl scoffed and shook her head. “He is way out of your league. There’s no way. Besides,” she sneered as she examined her nails, “he’s been looking at me the entire game.”

“Actually, dumbass, he’s been looking at _her_ the whole game. Ya know, cause she’s his _girlfriend.”_

Purse Girl dropped her hand in her lap and cocked her head. “So why are you waiting until right now to tell me? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” 

“Because I didn’t think you’d get so fucking creepy,” you said. Purse Girl rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry but I just don’t believe it. I can’t see him with someone like you.” 

“What do you mean, ‘someone’ like me? You don’t even know me?” You exclaimed, trying to not let your anger get the best of you. 

Purse Girl shrugged. “You’re just pretty plain.” 

Hina laughed dryly. “Well, Tsukishima has been chasing after her for the past three years. And he doesn’t even know you exist. So clearly you’re not in the right to make any judgement calls here.” 

“Have you not been listening? He’s been looking at me the entire fucking game. He _knows_ I exist. I’ve come to every one of his games this season.” Purse Girl looked you up and down before looking away. “Yet I haven’t seen you at a single game. So either you’re lying or you’re just a really shitty girlfriend.” 

You opened your mouth to reply but Hina put her hand on your arm, stopping you. She shook her head and gave you a reassuring look. “It’s not worth it. Let her think what she wants. At the end of the day, it’ll be _you_ that gets to be.. what did she say? Oh yeah, crushed between his thighs.” She gave Purse Girl one last glare before turning back around smugly. You decided she was right, that it just wasn’t worth it, and followed her lead. 

The rest of the game, Purse Girl made sure to comment extra loudly on Kei’s skills and appearance. The entire time you tried your hardest to focus on him and the game, but it wasn’t easy. 

Her words kept running through your head, as much as you hated to admit it. She clearly thought Kei was out of your league and that you were a shitty girlfriend. Was she right? Why had she, a complete stranger, come to all of his games when you hadn’t? And there was no denying Kei was very handsome. He could definitely do better if he wanted to. Were you not good enough for him? 

Those thoughts were still running through your head as the game ended. The Sendai Frogs has managed to win the first two sets, ending the game earlier than usual, which was a huge relief to you. As much as you loved watching Kei play, you were glad that he had won AND that you didn’t have to listen to the girl behind you for a moment longer. 

You and Hina decided to find a bathroom before waiting for Kei in the lobby, which turned out to be a huge disaster. The bathroom, for whatever reason, was located far away from the gym and it took way too long to find. And on the way back to the lobby, the two of you took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in a hallway with a dead end.

“Uhh..” Hina looked around, clearly trying to figure out where the two of you went wrong. 

“Why is this building a maze??” You groaned, turning around to walk back down the hall. “We’re gonna die here and I wasn’t even able to say goodbye to my family!”

“You’re so dramatic. We just gotta backtrack and find the bathroom, then go from there. Nobody is dying five minutes away from the exit of the building.” 

And like the natural born leader she was, Hina managed to get both of you to the lobby safe and sound. Unfortunately, Purse Girl and her friend had beat you guys to it. And they beat you to Kei, as well. 

You felt your heart drop a bit as you watched Purse a Girl talking to Kei, one hand on his arm while she gave him a smile that was too big for her face. 

_What if he sees her and realizes he can do better?_

The thought came, but then you remembered something else Kei had told you. The night you stayed the night at his house. 

_“And yet I picked you. And I will always pick you. Every time.”_

The doubt you had started to feel was gone almost as quickly as it came, and you walked over to your boyfriend confidently. When he saw you, looking over Purse Girl’s head, a visible look of relief crossed his face. You couldn’t stop the grin as you watched him pull himself out of her grip and push past her to walk towards you.

You started to jog, and once you reached Kei you threw your arms around him enthusiastically. Part of it was to put on a show for Purse Girl, but most of it was because you were genuinely excited to see your boyfriend and congratulate him on the win.

Despite not being the biggest fan of PDA, Kei smiled warmly at you and leaned down to catch your lips in a quick kiss. 

“You were amazing out there,” you said breathlessly after pulling away from him. “I mean honestly Kei, you are just so good! I can’t believe there was ever a time where you doubted your skills!”

“Hm, I think a better boyfriend would say something about you being a good luck charm but honestly, I have gotten a lot better.. so yeah, I am pretty good, aren’t I?” His cocky smirk made your stomach flip. 

You smacked him playfully on the shoulder. “Careful, your head is dangerously closing to popping!” 

“Yeah, but I know you’d clean it up for me so it’s okay. As long as I don’t have to deal with it.” 

You stuck your tongue out and wanted to say something else but Hina interrupted before you could, physically shoving herself between you and your boyfriend. 

“Hi!! Out of curiosity, is your libero single? And maybe looking for a cute girlfriend?” She smiled brightly at your boyfriend, who responded with a blank expression. She then shook her head, as if she remembered something important. “Oh yeah, and great game today!” 

Kei looked at you, and you just shrugged your shoulders. “She wanted Kuroo but I told her he was off limits. The libero was her next target.” 

Kei looked back at your roommate, who was giving him her best puppy dog eyes. Crossing his arms, he sighed. “I’m not introducing you to him. But, his name is Sato and I do happen to know that he is single and looking for a girlfriend. He only complains about his loneliness every chance he can get. You can probably find him at the vending machine on the other side of the lobby. He likes to get a snack after every game.”

Hina wasted no time thanking Kei and rushing off towards the possible location of the libero. You watched, an amused expression on your face, as she disappeared into the crowd. 

“Keiiii!” You winced as the familiar, annoying voice of Purse Girl reached your ears. Looking over, you saw her walking towards the two of you, a clearly fake smile plastered on her face. 

“It’s Tsukishima,” Kei corrected once she stopped in front of him, not sounding at all amused. Purse Girl looked taken aback for the briefest moment before she regained her composure. 

“Well hopefully we’ll be on a given name basis soon. So anyways, do you want to exchange numbers and then meet up for dinner sometime? I’d love to get to know you more.” Her giggle made you want to bash your head into a wall. 

“No, I’m not interested.” To your delight, his arm snaked around your waist and he pulled you to him. Purse Girl’s face went from happy to annoyed real quick. 

“Well why don’t we at least exchange numbers and then we can-”

“I’m sorry,” Kei interrupted, “did you not hear me? I said no.” 

Purse Girl glared at you before turning her gaze back to Kei. “We could at least be friends and-”

Kei shook his head, causing her to falter. “I’m not interested in being friends. Not only do I not care about having friends, but I especially don’t care to make friends with someone so self-absorbed that they don’t care about the fact that my girlfriend is literally right next to me while they hit on me. It’s an ugly trait, and you weren’t very pretty to begin with.” 

Your mouth dropped open, and you weren’t proud of how happy you were to see Purse Girl look so upset. 

Kei didn’t offer another word as he turned around and walked off, taking you with him and leaving Purse Girl sputtering like an idiot. 

“What, no scolding for how rude I was?” Kei peered down at you once the two of you were out of earshot of the girl. 

You grinned up at him. “Nah, I’ll let it slide. Only because she sat behind me and I had to listen to her talk about you the entire game and it really pissed me off.” 

He cocked an eyebrow. “What?” 

“Oh yeah, she’s in love with you. She spent the whole time talking about how hot you were. And she thought that every time you looked at me you were actually looking at her, so she mistook that as you being interested in her as well.”

He scoffed, shaking his head.

“I tried telling her to stop because you’re actually dating me but she didn’t believe it,” you continued. 

“Really? And what was her reasoning?” The annoyance that had been on his face was slowly starting to turn into genuine anger.

“She uh,” your eyes dropped to the ground, “said you were way out of my league. That there was no way you’d date someone like me.” 

You knew it was stupid to feel hurt by that comment, when Kei had never once, even when in a bad mood or being snarky like he typically was, implied that he was too good for you. He always made you feel loved. But for some reason, that girl’s comments had really gotten to you. And you hated it. 

Kei hummed thoughtfully and stopped walking. He glanced behind him, where Purse Girl was still standing with her friend and glaring after the two of you, then turned back to you with a mischievous grin. 

Without giving you a warning, he grabbed your face and pulled you to him. Unlike earlier, when he gave you just a simple and chaste kiss, this kiss was deep and heart stopping. As his lips moved hastily against yours, his hands dropped from your face to your waist and he squeezed your sides roughly before yanking you forward and holding you against him tightly. 

You could feel his lips vibrating softly as he laughed, and when he pulled away he was still grinning. 

“What was that for?” You asked, eyes wide. 

“Just wanted to completely shatter any doubts she may have had about who I loved. That’s all.” He grabbed your hand and led you away. Part of you really wanted to look back to see the girl’s expression, but when Kei squeezed your hand lovingly you decided that it just wasn’t worth the effort. 

You had Kei, he loved you, and that was all that mattered. Though you couldn’t deny it was fun watching him shoot her down. You never said you weren’t petty.

* * *

A few days later, you were hanging out in Kei’s room for a homework date. 

Well, Kei was doing homework. You were _trying_ , but you kept finding yourself on random websites, taking countless personality quizzes to kill the time. 

“Mustard? Really? I don’t think I’ve ever even willingly eaten mustard.” You scoffed and pushed your laptop away from you, not at all happy with the results of the “Which condiment are you?” quiz you had just taken. Kei, who was sitting on his bed, looked over his computer screen at you. He took out one of his earbuds so that he could talk to you over his music. 

“Being as productive as usual, I see?” 

You blushed and crossed your arms indignatly. “Sorry I’m not a nerd like you.” 

“Ouch. You wound me with your compliments of my intellect. Please, no more, I can’t take it.” His voice was completely devoid of any emotion as he said it. Then, he sighed deeply and clicked his tongue, as if disappointed by something. “Well I was going to show you what I’ve been working on, since it is for you after all, but if you’re just going to bully me…” 

You perked up, completely surprised by his words. Something for you? Well now you had to know! 

You quickly shut your computer, jumped out of the desk chair, and walked over to the bed, a pout already on your lips. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I won’t bully you ever again. Promise.” Your hands were clasped together as if in prayer, and you shook them dramatically in his face. He chewed on his bottom lip as he pretended to consider your apology. 

“Fine, whatever. But I’m holding you to that. You’re never allowed to say another mean thing about me ever again.” 

Your pout turned into a smirk. “Well, you never said no crosses count.” 

“But you weren’t crossing any fingers,” he pointed out. 

“But I _was_ crossing my toes!” 

Kei stared at you for a moment before shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Come here. You don’t deserve this anymore but I’m showing it to you anyways. Because I’m a good boyfriend.” 

You smiled triumphantly as you jumped into the bed and moved so you were squashed up against him and your legs were tangled up with his. Despite the fact that he was pretending to be annoyed, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you to him. You rested your head on his shoulder and looked down at his computer screen. 

“Here, put this in your ear.” He held out the earbud he had taken out earlier for you. You took it and did as he said. You watched as he clicked out of some tabs on his computer and pulled up Spotify. Then, you felt your heart soar completely out of your chest. 

On the screen you saw a playlist that was made up of countless songs, all from different genres. And the title of that playlist was just one word. Your given name.

You looked up at Kei, eyes wide and heart fluttering dangerously in your chest. His cheeks were a faint hue of pink and he kept his eyes on the screen as he scrolled down the song list. 

“What is this?” You asked softly. 

“What does it look like?” 

“A playlist.”

Kei nodded and suddenly music started to come out of the earbud that was in your ear. You recognized the song immediately. It was an instrumental song, and it came from your absolute favorite video game, The Last of Us. And while it was your favorite video game because of the story, it also meant so much to you because it was one that Kei had introduced to you back when the two of you were in high school, and he had also played through it with you. The two of you had spent many late nights fighting clickers and roaming around bandit-infested buildings, often arguing about whether it was better to sneak or just attack right away. 

It definitely held a special place in your heart. 

Once that song ended, another immediately started. Again, you recognized it right away. But this time it was because it was a song that Kei was always listening to. One of his favorites. You closed your eyes and leaned heavily against the blond as you listened. You smiled when you felt his cheek press into your hair as he rested his head against yours. 

The two of you sat like that for who knows how long, listening to song after song from the playlist named after you. A million thoughts were running through your head, but you easily pushed them aside as one thought kept dominating your mind. 

_I love him so much._

Eventually, Kei paused the music and sat up, pulling the earbud out of your ear before doing the same to his. He then gently reached out and brushed a piece of hair away from your face before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. When he pulled away, you could only stare at his blushing face like an idiot.

“I’m not.. always the best with words. We both know that.” His hand was still resting on your cheek, and he focused on watching his thumb gently sweep across your skin repeatedly. “But I don’t ever want you to doubt yourself and how much I care about you. So, I put together a playlist of songs that remind me of you.” 

“Kei..” You started softly, feeling your eyes start to well up with tears. 

“Actually,” he cleared his throat, “I’ve had this playlist for awhile. Not with your name as the title, of course. I would have rather died than have someone, especially you, accidentally see that.” He laughed softly. “But.. I’ve been compiling songs that make me think of you for a few years now. I just decided it was time to officially title it and share it with you.” 

You really didn’t have any words. You would never have words to describe how happy this made you, how happy _he_ made you. It was impossible. 

“I could tell that you were bothered by the girl from the game last weekend and what she said about me being too good for you,” he continued. “And while I was able to brush it off easily because I’ve never once thought that, I started to question whether or not I do a good job at making sure you know that you’re more than enough. And I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not.” 

“I’m sorry, it was stupid to let that get to me-”

“Your feelings aren’t stupid,” Kei said sharply. While his face was still soft, you could see the seriousness in his eyes. “Don’t say that.” 

You nodded slowly. “Well anyways, I was just feeling frustrated because like I said, I spent the whole game listening to her talk about how much she liked you and how she had come to every one of your games this season to watch you play. And I felt like maybe I was a shitty girlfriend because I don’t go to all of your games..” 

Kei cocked an eyebrow. “She said she had been to all of my games? To watch me? When I don’t know who she is?” You nodded. He scoffed. “That’s not cute, that’s fucking creepy.” 

You bit your bottom lip to hold back a laugh at the look on his face. It was a mix of annoyance and disgust, and it made you feel a lot better. 

“I love you, but I don’t care if you come to my games or not. I mean, I like when you do, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not gonna lie, you’re kinda distracting for me.” 

Now it was your turn to raise an eyebrow. “Distracting? How so?” 

“Hm.. I think it’s because..” Kei’s hand dropped to your waist, and you felt a shock throughout your body as it slipped underneath your shirt and gently brushed over your skin. His tongue poked out of his mouth slightly, running across his bottom lip and sending a shiver down your spine. “I love knowing that your eyes are on me the whole time. That you’re watching me and nobody else. And knowing that just really makes me..” he inhaled deeply as he leaned down and placed his mouth on your neck, wasting no time in nipping at the skin and then soothing it with a kiss. 

“Kei,” you sighed in what was supposed to be a warning, but there was too much pleasure and longing for it to come across that way. 

“I love looking up in the stands and seeing you looking at me. Because no matter how hard you try, you always look like you want to jump me right then and there.” His voice was huskier than before, and his warm breath tickled your throat as he spoke between kisses. 

“Well, you do always look incredible when you’re playing. That girl kept commenting on how nice your thighs look and I can’t say I disagree one bit.” Your voice was uneven and airy, and you found it hard to focus as Kei’s mouth continued to move against your neck and his hand continued to roam across your bare skin. 

“Hm, you mean these?” He asked as he grabbed your hand with his free one and placed it on his thigh. Your stomach dropped dangerously. This man was going to be the death of you. 

You hummed in response and attempted a nod. Squeezing his thigh once, you started to slowly slide your hand further up, which you knew was exactly what he wanted. You eyed the very apparent bulge you saw outlined against his sweatpants and brushed your hand over it so gently that you were sure it was tortue for Kei. When he made a low, frustrated noise and nipped harder than normal at the spot on your neck he was currently working on, it confirmed those suspicions.

“So this is what you want to do to me whenever I come to your games? I guess I’ll have to start coming to all of them then and maybe even make a few appearances at practi-”

“Stop talking.” 

You squealed in surprise as Kei suddenly grabbed you by the waist and picked you up just enough to toss you back so you were laying completely flat on your back. He towered over you, legs on either side of yours, as he leaned down and placed a kiss on the exposed skin of your lower stomach where your shirt had ridden up a bit from the movement. Then, without removing his mouth, he used one hand to slowly push the shirt further up. His lips followed behind, kissing the skin centimeter by centimeter as it became exposed. 

You pushed your head back into the pillow and tangled one of your hands in his hair, closing your eyes as you enjoyed the feeling of his mouth on your skin. It was a feeling that you would never, ever get tired of no matter how many times you experienced it. His lips were so warm, so soft, and so perfect. He could completely shatter your senses with his lips alone if he really wanted to. 

You definitely whimpered when Kei pulled away and sat up, because he did so _right_ as he was getting to the bottom of your bra. You were desperate for him to keep going. 

“You’re awful,” you said with a glare.

“Am I? Well I guess I can keep these on then, since I was just about to take them off..” He gestured to his glasses and you immediately shook your head frantically. 

When Kei took off his glasses, that’s when you knew shit was about to get serious. 

“No, I’m sorry. You’re not awful. You’re amazing and I love you!” 

“I don’t know.. I don’t think you really mean it.” He was flat out teasing you now, which you thought was cruel. His cocky smirk didn’t help either. 

“I do! I do mean it!”

But he just continued to stare at you, one hand hovering over the side of his glasses. Inwardly, you groaned. You knew what he wanted. You knew what he wanted to say.

Swallowing thickly and ignoring the heat rising to your already flushed cheeks, you batted your eyelashes at him. “ _Please_ , Kei.” 

And just like that, his glasses were off and his mouth and hands were back on your skin, continuing right where they left off. You groaned with relief, the aching hole you had been feeling from his absence filling up once again. 

Any feelings of doubt about yourself melted away. Any feelings of doubt about how much Kei loved you melted away. Any lingering feelings of displeasure brought on by Purse Girl melted away. 

The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Kei against you and the overwhelming sense of love and desire you had _for_ him and the overwhelming sense of love and desire you felt coming _from_ him. 

And that was just the way you liked it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo! Okay sorry I definitely wanted to write smut but as I went on I learned something very important and annoying about myself: while I can read smut for days, writing it gives me extreme secondhand embarrassment. I’m sorryyyy I really tried but I just.. couldn’t. Hopefully one day I’ll get over that. ANYWAYS! Thanks for sticking with this story and dealing with my horribly inconsistent updates and lies about how many more chapters would come. This is officially the end of the story, and I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it :)


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